


Nothing Stays Where You Leave It

by Salazar101



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Abuse, Background McGenji, Fist Fights, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Self-Loathing, Slow Burn, Suicidal Ideation, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:54:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 67,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24127729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salazar101/pseuds/Salazar101
Summary: Jack Morrison ran away from home to join the military at age 18, leaving behind the only person he's ever loved.  Twenty-five years later he has to return to take care of his dying father.  Jack is desperate to mend the relationships he shattered when he left but finds that neither people, nor places, remain the same.
Relationships: Reaper | Gabriel Reyes/Soldier: 76 | Jack Morrison
Comments: 236
Kudos: 264





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This will update once a week on Mondays! I look forward to sharing this story, I've been working on it since... oh... probably September! Eternal thanks to [Airafleeza](https://twitter.com/airafleeza) for being my beta once more.
> 
> Tumblr: [ohgodsalazarwhy](https://ohgodsalazarwhy.tumblr.com/)  
> Twitter:[ NoviceSalazar](https://twitter.com/NoviceSalazar)

There was nothing particularly odd about the two churches; Bloomington was full of them. Even though they stood side by side, their flocks did not interact much, their teachings were different, and their opinions of each other were low. The only thing they shared was an old playground out front, the remains of what had once been a park before it became church property. 

Not many children swung on the monkey bars or injured themselves on the merry-go-round or the see-saw. The swings often sat empty. Most children were at church to worship, not to play. That isn’t to say the playground was completely abandoned, though. There were some children who spent more time at the church than they did at home, their parents so active in their communities that they were given free rein of the grounds if only to keep them out of their parents’ hair.

Jack had been wandering around his father’s church since he’d been old enough to walk. He knew every nook and cranny of both churches—even if he sometimes got in trouble for going over to the church next door.

“Heathens!” his father would growl. “Filthy saint-worshippers! Idolaters!” 

Everyone was very nice to him in both churches, regardless of their differences. His father’s church felt sparse compared to the other church which was full of colorful windows and lots of pictures. Their cross actually had Jesus crucified on it, which kind of freaked Jack out a little so he didn’t like to look too hard at it. There was even a very kind woman at the parish who would give him cookies and let him play with her son while she volunteered. Ms. Reyes called him her  _ pollito, _ which Jack didn’t understand until her son Gabriel started bawking at him like a chicken. She said it so fondly that he still liked it.

Jack would have given anything for Ms. Reyes to be his mother.

While their parents were busy in their respective churches, Jack and Gabriel would play on the playground or explore the grounds around the churches. Gabriel was the bravest person Jack knew; he’d be the first to grab a snake he found in the grass or spiders right out of their webs. He once caught a mouse and brought it for Ms. Reyes to see. 

That hadn’t ended well.

There was nowhere else Jack would rather be than sitting on a swing with Gabriel beside him, kicking gravel as high as he could into the air. Home was... home was complicated. It was just Jack and his father, and his father wasn’t as warm as Ms. Reyes, to say the least. Jack was a little scared of him. He yelled a lot, about everything. Jack had never heard Ms. Reyes yell, except when Gabe had released a mouse into the church, but even then Gabriel didn’t seem afraid so much as upset that his mom was angry with him.

Even as children they knew Bloomington was small, and that some of the people in it were very small, too. Jack liked to sit on the swing and listen to Gabriel talk about all the places he was going to go when he got older.

“I read in a book that there’s this place called, um, the Grand Canyon,” said Gabriel as they swung together, “and it’s so deep you can’t see the bottom! And if you throw people in they never come out!”

“That doesn’t sound right,” Jack replied skeptically, scuffing his sneakers through the gravel. “How can no one see the bottom? Bet there are lights strong enough to see down there.”

“No there aren’t!” snapped Gabriel. “I read about it in a book, so it’s true! What do you know? You’ve never been anywhere.”

“Neither have you!” he fumed, hands curling around the chains of the swing.

“I have so! Mama took me to Indian...apolis... last year! That’s the biggest city in the whole world.”

“That’s not true!” Jack kicked a little gravel at Gabriel. “What about New York? That’s way bigger!”

“I read about it in a book, so it’s true!”

“You say everything you say is true!”

Gabriel lunged at him but Jack was ready for it, arms wrapping around him as they scuffled in the gravel under the swings, little fists flying as they rolled around on the ground. He yelled as Gabriel pulled at his hair and Jack got some satisfaction from elbowing him in the gut and hearing him yelp.

“Gabriel! Jackie!”

They scrambled to separate, standing up and attempting to look innocent as Ms. Reyes stormed over. Jack wiped at his face and realized he had a bloody lip.

“You two are in so much trouble!” Ms. Reyes scolded, waving a finger in their faces. “Is fighting what Jesus would want?”

“No, Mama.”

“No, Ms. Reyes.”

She tsked and pulled out a handkerchief, grabbing Jack by the chin and wiping the blood off his face. “Goodness, what Pastor Morrison is going to think when he sees you.”

“He probably won’t notice,” Jack muttered, letting her mother him without complaint. He didn’t like it when she was upset with him, but he did like it when she treated him like another son.

“Do not talk like that.” She cupped Jack’s cheeks in both her hands. They were warm and soft and gentle. “He’s your father. He loves you very much.”

Jack wasn’t sure that meant much, but he didn’t want to argue with her and just nodded. She turned to Gabriel and scowled at him until he dropped his gaze to his feet. “As for you, no TV tonight, I am not raising a  _ cholo _ !”

“Yes, Mama...” Gabriel glanced up at her hopefully. “Can I stay out here with Jack?”

Ms. Reyes put her hands on her hips and Jack gave her his best puppy dog eyes; he didn’t want to be alone either. She sighed and reached out to pull them both close into a pair of one-armed hugs, “Oh, you two will be the death of me. Just no fighting!”

“Yes, Mama!”

“Yes, Ms. Reyes!”

Jack rubbed his arm over his nose as she walked back into her parish and shot Gabriel a sly look. “Someday, we’ll both go to the Grand Canyon  _ and _ New York and we’ll see who’s right.”

“It’ll be me, of course.”

“It  _ won’t _ !”

“It will!”

This time it was Jack that lunged at Gabriel.

**8 YEARS LATER**

“What did you think of yesterday’s chem quiz?”

The swings were starting to feel a little small, the chains digging into Jack’s thighs as he rocked back and forth on his heel while his other foot carved a line through the gravel. Gabriel was beside him, fingers curled high up around the chains as he leaned back to stare upside down at the churches behind them. He’d grown up quite handsome, wrestling in high school while Jack had become nearly obsessed with track and field. It didn’t mean that he still couldn’t go toe-to-toe with Gabriel; it just meant that Jack was usually the one pinned during a scuffle—which he didn’t mind and also didn’t understand why he didn’t mind. He was a good son,  _ not _ gay.

“Ugh, I don’t want to talk about chem,” Gabriel grumbled, pulling himself up to sit properly in his swing.

“That bad, huh?”

“Shut the fuck up,  _ pollito _ .”

Jack blushed and glanced away, scratching at his cheek as if he could hide how red he was. Gabriel had managed to take Ms. Reyes’ cute nickname and turn it into an insult. It was embarrassing being called “little chicken” when he was already half a foot taller than her, but he never asked her to stop. It was better than the things his father called him.

Jack cleared his throat. “I could help you study, you know. You’re really smart, Gabe. You’d get good grades if you just applied yourself.”

“Please,” Gabriel sneered. “When my band takes off I won’t need any of that stuff.”

“You can  _ barely _ play the guitar.” Jack laughed as Gabriel took a half-hearted swing at him, jerking away before it could make contact.

“See if I take you with me on tour, then,” he sniffed, pushing at the ground to start swinging gently.

They sat in comfortable silence. Jack snuck glances at Gabriel whenever he thought he wasn’t looking. He was trying to grow facial hair, but it was coming in a little patchy. It was still better than what Jack could do, which wasn’t much at all. Gabriel liked to tease him about it, but if Jack was honest he liked being clean-shaven. He’d much rather feel Gabriel’s facial scraping against him as they—

No. Absolutely  _ not _ . He couldn’t think that way.

“Hey, Jack.” Gabriel leaned back in the swing again, looking over at him. “Mama is going to be gone on a retreat for the catechumens this weekend. Wanna crash at my place this weekend?”

“Oh, I can’t.” Jack glanced away, heart aching a little. “Father wants me at home. He... he doesn’t like it when we hang out.”

Gabriel scoffed and spit on the ground. “Man, fuck him. Your father sucks. Who cares what he wants?”

“ _ I do _ , you asshole,” Jack snapped. “He’s my  _ father _ .”

“He treats you like shit. If I had a father,  _ I _ wouldn’t let him treat me like that.”

“Dude, shut up.” Jack stood up off the swing, hands clenched into fists at his side. “You don’t know shit about it! He’s just hard on me because he cares!”

Gabriel stood up as well, stalking towards Jack to grab him by the front of his shirt. “He doesn’t care about you—all he cares about is his image! Come on, Jack!” Gabriel gave him a small shake then sighed, his eyes softened just a touch but it was enough to have Jack’s heart throbbing. “I bet if I asked Mama she’d let you live with us!”

“Fuck you!” Jack shoved him and his offer away. To be in a home and not just a house, to be Ms. Reyes’  _ pollito, _ to feel loved and wanted and cared about. The image was  _ too _ tempting,  _ too _ sweet. 

It was  _ stupid _ . It was stupid and he was a  _ good son _ who wasn’t going to just let Gabe insult his father.

“Fuck you!”

Jack tried to tackle him to the ground, but while Jack was fast, Gabriel was strong. He took the lunge and twisted Jack around, forcing him to the ground. Jack coughed as Gabriel landed hard on him, his big arm wrapped around his neck. Gabriel took every shove and kick Jack delivered without flinching. Slowly but surely he rolled Jack onto his belly until he was arched under Gabriel, arm still tight around his neck.

“Who’s your daddy?” Gabriel grinned against his ear. “C’mon, Jackie, you haven’t been able to beat me in years.”

“Go... fuck... yourself...” Jack wheezed out, grabbing fruitlessly at Gabriel’s arm. He jerked back, trying to shove Gabriel off him, only to feel something hot and hard pressed against his thigh. He squeaked and Gabriel grunted before they quickly scrambled away from each other.

“H-hey, I’m not—”

“Dude, it just happens sometimes,” said Gabriel defensively, crossing his arms over his knees as he brought them up to his chest. “Don’t flatter yourself. I don’t like white boys like you, anyway!”

Okay, that hurt. Or, it  _ would _ hurt if Jack was interested in Gabriel, which he wasn’t. He liked girls. A lot.

“But you do like guys?” Jack muttered, picking at a piece of gravel so he wouldn’t have to look at Gabriel. They’d never really talked about these kinds of things, an unspoken embargo on topics relating to sex. Jack  _ knew _ Gabriel had had sex with a girl, but it didn’t come with any of the bragging that other boys did. He only knew about it because he’d come over and she was the one who’d answered the door when he’d knocked. Gabriel had seemed reluctant to talk about it and Jack never saw the girl again.

“I like whoever,” Gabriel snapped, “but not  _ you _ .”

“Good.”

“Yeah.”

**2 YEARS LATER**

It was dark out, no one was at either church as Jack sat alone on the swings, the small seat squeezing and digging into his thighs. Swinging too long ended with chain-shaped bruises on his hips and thighs, but he didn’t know where else to go. He just knew he couldn’t bear to spend another night at home.

His father seemed to get meaner by the year, and Jack sat there and took the abuse rapidly aware of how much smaller and weaker his father was. If he fought back he might really hurt him.

“Thought I might find you here.”

Jack glanced up to see Gabriel; he hadn’t even heard him approach. Gabriel had bulked out in the last couple years, even more painfully attractive now that he was at the tail end of his lanky, teenage phase. There was still something soft around the edges... but Jack was sure in a few more years that would be gone.

“Father is... he’s having a bad night.”

“So you’re having a pretty bad night, too, huh?” Gabriel sat down in the swing beside him, the metal frame groaning a little at their combined weight. They glanced up nervously and then caught each other’s eye and laughed.

“Well, I just figured I’d get out from under his feet,” Jack said after they’d quieted down. “He’ll calm down in the morning.”

“Until then? What-- you going to sleep out here?”

“There are cots in the church,” said Jack, thumbing over his shoulder towards his Father’s church. “I’ve slept in there before.”

“Jackie...” Gabriel’s look was so raw, so pitying, that Jack had to swallow and look away. He’d thought that maybe whatever he felt about Gabriel would cool down and he’d find a nice girl. It’d just gotten worse; whenever he looked at Gabriel he wanted to kiss him, wanted his best friend to be his boyfriend, and knew a bad night wouldn’t be all he had if he ever let on to those desires.

“H-hey, it’s like having a giant house,” he tried to joke, but it landed hollowly.

“Come home with me,” Gabriel insisted, reaching over to rest his hand on Jack’s knee, “Mama is making burgers. I know you like burgers,  _ pollito _ .” His heart throbbed like Gabriel had reached in and squeezed it.

Jack glanced down at the hand on his knee then up at Gabriel, whose face was so earnest and  _ vulnerable. _ It was killing Jack not to pull him into a kiss right now. Instead, he stood up, walking over to the metal slide and scuffing it with his foot.

Refusing to look at Gabriel, he asked, “So, ah, you go to the job fair today?”

“Yeah, but I just got accepted into Jacobs, going to get my BM in Composition with a focus on guitar.”

“What?” Jack turned around, eyes lighting up. “Gabe that’s fantastic! I know you’ve been working your ass off to write shit for your portfolio! When did you find out?”

“Just today. I wanted to tell you.” Gabriel stood up and walked over, standing close enough that Jack felt a bit boxed in against the frame of the slide. “What about  _ you _ ? What are you going to do?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said Jack vaguely. Unlike Gabriel, he hadn’t tried to get into a university. He’d lied to his father about filling out applications for school, but the thought of living in Bloomington for another year was a weight on his chest. 

Gabriel had a life and family here. They’d always promised to travel together, and Gabe was his best friend in the whole world... but Jack couldn’t pull him away from his dreams. He couldn’t tell anyone he was suffocating.

“Jack.” Gabriel reached up to cup his chin. “We just graduated. You gotta do something.”

“It’s... I mean... I’m sure I’ll get accepted to Indiana University.” The lies rolled off his tongue so easily. “I just applied late. Thinking about getting a degree in exercise science.”

Gabriel looked right through him; he always had. Jack fell silent, eyes falling to his full lips. He’s not sure who moved first, but one moment he was staring and the next his eyes were fluttering shut as they kissed. 

It was a full-body shock (and Jack had touched his share of electric fences) and everything he’d ever wanted— Gabriel’s soft lips on his, his tongue hot as it coaxed past Jack’s lips and took the kiss deeper. Jack eagerly returned the kiss, perhaps a little clumsy, but Gabriel’s experience guided him through it. The way his tongue brushed over his bottom lip, how he cupped the back of Jack’s head to get him to tilt it. It was a better first kiss than he deserved.

“Oh fuck,” Jack groaned when Gabriel pulled back for a breath. At some point, he’d reached up and grabbed Gabe by the shoulders.

Gabriel grinned, leaning in for another kiss. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” 

Jack turned his head to the side, Gabriel’s lips brushing along his jaw instead. Panic was welling up inside him. That kiss had rocked his world; it felt like everything right and good, but it was wrong. He gently pushed Gabriel away, hands trembling. 

“We can’t do this,” he said, glancing at Gabriel only for a second before the hurt on his face became too much to bear.

“Why not?” Gabriel demanded. “You liked it! You think I don’t notice when you make doe eyes at me? You’re not that subtle, Morrison.”

Jack blushed, keeping Gabriel at arm’s length. “I’m not gay—” Gabriel opened his mouth and Jack quickly talked over him. “—and even if I was I can’t... my father would disown me. He’d hate you.”

“I don’t really care!” Gabriel shrugged Jack’s hands off him and took a step back. “Stop caring about what he thinks! You don’t need him. Me and you—we can get a place together! We can live on campus! Jack, you've lived your whole life how  _ he _ wants. Wouldn’t it be nice to do what  _ you _ want?!”

What Jack wanted was to take Gabriel and drive. Drive far, far away. Start somewhere new. Be a different person, a person who could love Gabriel all he wanted. 

But...Gabriel had just been accepted to his dream program. His life was here.

“I... I can’t do this,” Jack choked and shoved past Gabriel, running as fast as he could.

“Jack! JACK! WAIT,  _ GODDAMMIT _ ! YOU FUCKING  _ BASTARD _ , GET BACK HERE!” 

Gabriel was running after him, but while Gabriel had always been strong, Jack had always been fast.

He waited outside the recruitment office of the Marines until they opened. They’d talked to him at the job fair and told him he could get out—go anywhere, be anything. Jack didn’t care about who he was; he just cared that he wasn’t going to be here anymore. Serving as a Marine would make his father proud and get Jack away from him and out from under his thumb.

He left that evening and didn’t look back.

**25 YEARS LATER**

“Well, Sergeant Major Morrison, it has been an honor serving with you... you sure I can’t convince you to stay?”

Jack shrugged his massive bag over one shoulder as he reached out to shake his captain’s hand. It was a little hard to believe he’d been a marine for twenty-five years; he probably would've stayed longer if his father hadn't been diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer.

A good son would come home to take care of him. 

So, Jack would be a good son—even if it meant going back to Bloomington.

“Never would have seen the world without the Marines,” Jack said as they shook hands, “but I haven’t been home since the day I left.”

Captain Petras frowned a little at that. “You’ve had plenty of leave—you could have visited. As a matter of fact, I would have given you leave to go home and take care of your father.”

“I know.” Jack pulled his hand back and ran it through his hair. It was starting to grow out again now that he didn’t have to keep it shaved. “But who knows how long I’ll be there? I’ll keep in touch,” he added, knowing it was a lie. Jack didn’t keep in touch with anyone; he just dropped people once he moved. He’d had many secretive relationships through the years: one-night stands and brief boyfriends. He could barely remember any of their faces.

“Alright, Morrison... have a safe trip.”

“I will, sir, take care.”

It felt weird to get in his car and know as he drove away that he was never coming back to the base. His current assignment had been in North Carolina, but he’d lived for a few years in Hawaii and Japan. He’d traveled to every state at least once and been to every continent. He’d seen everything he and Gabriel had ever talked about and more... but there had been something a little hollow about it all.

Jack remembered seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time and being a little disappointed that it wasn’t so deep that he couldn’t see the bottom—even though he knew by the time he’d visited that it wasn’t true, had known that before he’d left. Still... he’d looked down into the beauty of it all and felt nothing. 

As he drove, Jack wondered where Gabriel was now. He hadn’t had the courage to talk to him since he’d left. Some marine he was. 

Jack liked to imagine he was composing amazing music. Maybe he lived in LA writing songs for the stars. He’d have a fancy downtown apartment and be happy doing what he loved. Gabriel had often talked about what it’d be like to write songs, and some of Jack’s most cherished memories were sitting on the swings while Gabriel strummed his guitar and performed them.

In hindsight the songs were cheesy and clumsy, the lyrics juvenile and overly dramatic as only a teenager could make them. In Jack’s ears they were perfect, Gabriel’s voice so smooth and deep as his lyrics spoke right to his equally dramatic teenage soul. He turned on the radio as he drove, hands tightening on the wheel the closer he got to Bloomington. He wasn’t that far away, really—just an eleven-hour drive. Jack had driven further than that before many times, yet never once had it been to return to Bloomington. 

He pictured a small, sleepy downtown that only got wild when the college kids did. He pictured quarries and fields. He pictured a swing set and pair of neighboring churches. Bloomington was a tiny little college town, full of tiny little people, and Jack felt like he was about to squeeze into a box that he’d outgrown years ago. 

The first sign that things weren’t quite as he remembered them came before he even got into town proper: endless fields broken by sporadic signs of civilization that became more prominent as he got closer to the city center. 

Jack sucked in a breath when he finally got to Bloomington. 

Exploded was hardly the word he would use to describe it. It wasn’t a sleepy little college town anymore; it was packed with massive corporate buildings, many of them medical in nature, in addition to the university. The downtown looked busy and run down.

Jack gawked in a way he hadn’t since visiting New York for the very first time. He came to a stop at a light and looked around, eyes landing on a corner store and  _ that _ gave him the uncomfortable jolt he’d been expecting. He and Gabriel used to come down there and buy pop, candy, and fried food. Jack noticed two kids hanging around the outside of the shop: A boy in a cowboy hat and a girl with purple hair. The girl noticed him staring and stuck out her tongue before flashing him her finger.

Jack sighed and just drove off once the light turned green. Once upon a time that had been him and Gabriel, though he thought  _ those _ kids were well past the age where they should be loitering. He’d have to come back and walk around some, but for now he had to get home. 

He drove past two churches, hit the brakes, and stared. They looked the same, but the playground was just  _ gone _ . Instead it was just a plot of grass, as if the playground had never existed at all. Jack felt such a sudden stab of loss that he could barely breathe through; some part of him wanted to see the swings, to see the ghost of who he’d been with Gabriel by his side.

Gone. All gone.

He didn’t know this place at all.

Jack jumped as someone came up behind him and honked. Now wasn’t the time. He swallowed his feelings and started to drive again, waving apologetically out the window. The person still zoomed past him, and he was flipped off for the second time since arriving. God, this place was different.

A mile past the churches sat his father’s ranch-style home, large driveway, and acres of land that had now gone completely wild. When Jack was a boy he’d been in charge of keeping it meticulously maintained, but now the grass was easily knee height with an entire stretch of fence eaten by blackberry thorns. 

Jack parked and turned his car off but didn’t get out just yet. He hadn’t seen his father in twenty five years, had barely  _ talked _ to him, and—if he was honest with himself—could easily go another twenty five without.

Jack listened to his engine click as it cooled down and picked idly at a loose seam on his jeans. Home was where you could always return; home was... home was a warm smile and the smell of churros frying and brown eyes so beautiful they—he squeezed his eyes tightly and shut that path of thought down before it could continue. In some other life that could have been his home, but in  _ this _ life it was just a daydream.

Deep breaths. 

Jack opened the car door and popped the trunk to grab his big bag and throw it over his shoulder. All his worldly possessions fit inside: clothes, a tablet and laptop, as well as a few personal items. There was a picture of him and Gabriel on the swings that Ms. Reyes took when they were probably about seventeen years old and a picture of Ms. Reyes as she was making a salad. The quality was shitty; Jack had taken that one with a disposable camera, but he couldn’t stand the thought of getting rid of it. She’d looked so happy and kind, even while making dinner. He’d also thrown in some of the medals and awards he’d earned during his service. Overall, it was a pretty pathetic show for a man who was forty-three years old. 

The gravel of the driveway crunched as Jack made his way to the front door. He knocked sharply. Aside from being worn down and uncared for, this place looked eerily unchanged; Jack could even see the rotted husk of a car that broke down in the driveway when he was ten. He heard shuffling and a cough, and then the door was wrenched open. For the first time in twenty-five years, Jack came face-to-face with his father.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack gets outside the house and meets some locals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks as always to [ Airafleeza](https://twitter.com/airafleeza) who is my beta and helps make what I write readable!
> 
> Tumblr: [ohgodsalazarwhy](https://ohgodsalazarwhy.tumblr.com/)  
> Twitter:[ NoviceSalazar](https://twitter.com/NoviceSalazar)

Time had not been kind to John Morrison, but cancer had been harder. Jack just stared; he easily towered over his father, and while his father had once been stocky and broad, all that had collapsed in on itself like an abandoned building being eaten away by mold. He was clutching an IV stand in one bony, gnarled hand, looking twenty years older than his sixty-five years. His hair was all gone, probably from the chemo, and he was covered in liver spots. There were places where his thin, wrinkled skin was black and scabbed. 

Jack swallowed and took a step into the house.

“Hello, Father,” he said as evenly as possible.

“Twenty-five years and that’s all you have to say to me?” Time and illness had clearly done nothing to dull John’s tongue. “You’ve always been a nasty little ingrate, running away from your father, leaving me to fend for myself.” John turned and slowly— _ painfully _ —started to hobble his way out of the entrance hall and back towards the living room.

The house was even more miserable than Jack remembered. The walls were stained yellow with decades of cigarette smoke, ashtrays overflowing with old and new butts. He spotted a fresh butt gently smoking in the tray beside his father’s brown recliner. The TV was the same one that had been in the house when Jack left, though now it had a crack down the middle Old footage from one of his father’s sermons played on the screen.

Jack had no regrets leaving this awful place when he did. 

While his father sat back down, still grumbling about how horrible Jack was and what a bad son he was, Jack walked further down the hallway to the bedrooms, his bag over his shoulder. A quick glance into his father’s room revealed medical equipment by his bed. Jack opened the door to his old room and saw it hadn’t changed a day since he’d left, everything covered in twenty-five years of dust and cobwebs. Jack coughed; even opening the door sent dust flying into the air. He quickly backed out and rubbed a hand over his face. The rest of the house was dirty, but not  _ that _ dirty. 

“You never cleaned out my room?” Jack coughed, making his way back into the living room and dropping his bag by the sagging couch instead.

“Why should I?” John snapped bitterly, lighting a new cigarette before grabbing a nearby bottle of beer. “I had enough to do after you ran off.”

“I didn’t run off, Father,” said Jack automatically. “I joined the military, I had a full career, I earned medals.” He felt no pride in any of it, just the old and broken hope that John might give him some small scrap of approval at his accomplishments.

John scoffed, “Oh sure, and I was left with an empty home and land to take care of and a church to run. You were  _ supposed _ to stay and take over as pastor. Instead, some young idiot stepped in when I couldn’t do it anymore. You wouldn’t even recognize the place. They even let fags in now.”

Jack let out a long breath and rubbed his temple, hearing his father talk like this just made him feel numb. “I... I need to get groceries—do we need groceries?” He grabbed his wallet out of his bag and walked into the kitchen and pantry to see the state of things. Not great. It looked like his father was ordering out a lot or getting casseroles probably from people at the old church. Jack dumped all the gross food, taking comfort in the routine of cleaning.

A bitter, horrible part of him just wanted his father to die as soon as possible so he could stop living in a house that made his skin crawl. 

No, Jack was a good son. He’d take care of his father and clean the house up. It wasn’t so bad. Besides, his father had already gotten distracted by the TV, meaning no more bitter abuse spewed forth. They could find an equilibrium—right?

Jack cleaned the entire kitchen, and though everything was still stained a little yellow and smelled like cigarettes, Jack was pretty proud of it all. He cleaned out the pantry next, throwing away bulging cans of expired food, flour bags full of beetles, and other unsavory things. His father had never cooked a day in his life; that had always been Jack’s job, the kitchen and pantry were some of the few places where he had complete control. By the time he was done, Jack felt a little bit better.

Next was a list of food and supplies to replace all the crap he’d just thrown out. If John replied when Jack said he was heading to the store, he left too fast to hear him.

Out in his car, he sat down, shut the door, then gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles went white. Jack screamed as loud and as hard as he could until his voice cracked and dissolved into coughs interspersed with sobs. His forehead dropped against the steering wheel. Oh, God. Fuck. Why had he left his life to come back here? When he got that letter he should have stood up for himself for the first time in his life and told his nasty, abusive father to go die in a ditch somewhere.

It was pointless to think about it; if he was brave enough to stand up to his father he would have done it twenty-five years ago when he had a chance at being happy with Gabriel. Jack started the car with a sniff, rubbing his face off on his arm as he drove off. If he’d gone with Gabriel that night... they’d probably have a house in the suburbs with a yard like Jack had always wanted, but still be close enough to the city that Gabriel could go to all his important music meetings, work with famous people, and write number 1 hits. Jack would... maybe he’d just be a house husband. 

They’d have a dog and two cats, and every holiday they’d go  _ all _ out with decorations. They’d be  _ that _ house. Ms. Reyes would teach Jack how to make her famous chicken-and-chili enchiladas and Gabriel would laugh at Jack whenever the spice made him hiccup. They’d be happy and in love and—

Oh God, why was he just  _ torturing _ himself like this? Jack shook his head like a dog shaking water out of its ears and drove to where he remembered the grocery store being, but it was some kind of big theater complex now. He sat in the parking until his phone told him there was a Kroger downtown. Shit. No more mom and pop shops. 

Jack pushed his cart, trying to think about the shopping and not how things were different or his complicated feelings. What did he care if things had changed? It had been twenty-five goddamn years—what? Had he thought things would stay the same? Was it possible to be homesick for a specific time and place to which you could never return? Jack was homesick for a pair of swings, then. Not for the sleepy town, or his abusive father, but for a time when he had someone he cared about who cared about him.

Jack was checking out when he thought about the little corner store. It was still there, it was still the same. It wasn’t the swings, but he and Gabriel had been in and out enough. Perhaps he’d stop by on the way home, pick up a pop. Jack rolled his full cart to the shortest checkout line, idly scrolling through the news on his phone. 

Buying a ton of groceries was expensive, and Jack was glad he’d saved all his life. He couldn’t stay away from work for the rest of his life, but it would be enough to survive until his father died. Jack had also applied for some money as a caretaker through the state; that’d help keep food in the fridge. He loaded up the car and drove back downtown, parking on the side of the road.

Everything was rundown and busy in turn. Jack pushed coins into the meter and made sure his car was locked before he started to walk towards the corner store two blocks away. Looked like the two kids were still hanging out; did they have nothing better to do? Jack shot them a narrow look and the girl smiled and wiggled her fingers at him. 

If there was one thing that hadn’t changed much, it was this corner store. The items were different, the packaging evolved, but the store was still cramped, and the pop was still in the back corner next to an aisle of candy. Jack could distinctly remember the first and  _ last _ time he and Gabriel had tried to shoplift and gotten caught. Ms. Reyes’ disappointment had hurt a lot more than when he’d gone home and his father had clocked him so hard he’d gotten a black eye. When Jack pulled out a Coke and went up front to throw down exact change, the man behind the counter reading a newspaper barely looked at him even as he checked him out. Jack stepped outside and twisted the cap with a hiss.

“Nice of you to buy me a Coke,” the guy in a cowboy hat drawled, glancing up at Jack from under the brim. 

Up close, Jack thought he might be early-to mid-twenties, the girl perhaps just a bit younger. Late-teens-to-early twenties. Both of them seemed a little too old to be hassling him for a Coke. 

“You don’t want to do this, son,” said Jack, tightening the cap on the Coke again. “I’d suggest you both move along.”

The girl laughed. “Look at this guy, he sounds  _ tough _ , doesn’t he, Jesse?” She gave her purple hair a flip, her gaze was mischievous.

Jesse bristled and pushed off the wall. “Look here, partner: this is  _ our _ corner, an’ you can either buy enough to share, or you can give us what you got.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Jack deadpanned, looking Jesse up and down. They were roughly the same height, and the guy had some muscle, but shit... Jack wouldn’t break a sweat twisting his head clean off his body. 

“Are you going to take that disrespect, Jesse?” the girl gasped, and Jack shot her a glare for egging her friend on. Someone loved conflict, apparently.

Jesse spit on the ground, squaring up and raising his fists. “You wanna tussle, partner? I don’t take to bein’ insulted on my own turf.”

“Go back to Texas, you inbred Clint Eastwood,” Jack snapped, not in the mood to be bullied by a couple of street kids when he had a thousand other things to worry about.

Jesse looked shocked for half a second and then he was lunging at Jack, arms wrapping around his waist to try and wrestle him to the ground. Back in the day, Jack had never been great at grappling—that was always Gabe’s thing—but he’d been trained in multiple forms of combat since. It wasn’t something he liked to brag about, but Jack was a natural-born killer. He could take down men twice his size, and Jesse  _ wasn’t _ twice his size.

Jack dropped his Coke and grabbed Jesse’s neck, gripping his shirt collar in his fists and squeezing. Within seconds Jesse started to go limp. Suddenly, the girl didn’t look like she was having so much fun.

“Hey, knock it off!” she yelled, trying to yank him away from Jesse.

“He’s fine,” Jack said coldly, shoving Jesse away before he could fully pass out, “but he should think twice about who he’s messing with.”

Jesse’s hands scrambled over his neck, eyes wide. “What in the goddamn hell was that!”

Jack bent down to pick up his Coke, hoping it hadn’t gone flat. “If you see me, you’d both better make tracks. I won’t go so easy on you again.”

“Who the hell are you?” the girl asked, sounding more pissed than afraid.

“Doesn’t matter.” Jack lowered his voice to a threatening growl. Better to scare them now and save a fight later. He didn’t  _ really _ want to spend his time back in Bloomington beating up children. “If either of you  _ ever _ mess with me again, you’ll  _ pray _ for a blood choke.”

With that, Jack tipped his head at them, turned on his heel, and left, heading for his car. Just as he was about to get into his car, thinking that would be the last he saw of them, Jesse yelled out, “You’ll pay fer this, partner!”

Jack waved his hand and got into the car.

His father was fast asleep and wheezing away in the living room when he got home. How long was this going to be his life? If he thought about it too hard, Jack felt his chest tighten with panic.

Once the food was put away, Jack started to clean the rest of the house. He couldn’t fucking sleep in this dump if the dust wasn’t scrubbed away and the walls weren’t washed. Windows were thrown open to let in fresh air, and Jack managed to find the old vacuum and get it running with a little finagling. 

The noise unfortunately woke up his father.

“Goddammit, boy, you’re not even here a day and you’re already making too much noise!” John yelled as Jack wearily vacuumed around his chair, sucking up a layer of dust and ashes. “You’re here to make me comfortable!” 

“Yes, Father,” Jack sighed. “I just don’t think it’s comfortable to live in the house when it looks like this.”

“Oh, you were always so judgemental!” John berated. “Always thought you were too good for this town, too good for me, too good for your religion!” 

“Mmhmm,” Jack hummed, barely listening to him, already falling back into old coping strategies. Some things never leave you. His father provided background noise much in the same way the vacuum did, and Jack tuned it out as he kept cleaning. He had to tie a bandana around his mouth and nose when he went back into his old room, running through close to six vacuum bags before the worst of the mess was gone. Everything was dragged out and loaded into John’s truck to be taken to the dump later.

His old room was the cleanest smelling place in the house by the time he was done with it. The walls were a little grey from neglect, the wallpaper was peeling away, but the fact that the door had been closed for so many years meant cigarette smoke hadn’t penetrated every inch of the wall and carpet. 

It was nearly midnight by the time Jack was done with his room, and he hadn’t even gotten a chance to touch the dirty bathrooms or the spare room that was filled floor-to-ceiling with junk. It was tomorrow’s problem. His father had already hobbled shakily off to bed, and Jack wasn’t sure he’d have the strength to walk for much longer judging by the way he struggled to get around now. He had a meeting with his father’s doctor tomorrow to talk about what kind of end of life care John would need to be comfortable.

For now he grabbed his rucksack out of the living room and dropped it in his old bedroom. Jack unpacked his tablet and laptop, plugging them into an outlet in questionable shape. He supposed dying in a fire would take care of 90 percent of his problems and didn’t worry too much about it. Next, his clothes were carefully hung up in the little closet. He’d tossed his old track medals in the garbage while cleaning and used the nails to hang his service medals.

The final result was very depressing. Aside from a couple of medals, the walls were stained and bare. His clothes didn’t even fill half of the tiny closet, and he didn’t even have a bed anymore. It was just an empty room with an empty man standing in it. Jack lay down on the carpet, staring up at the ceiling in the darkness, his only light the moon outside. The first night home in twenty-five years and the itch to escape was already under his skin. Being back here made it so much harder to forget all his mistakes—made it harder to run away from the things he’d left behind.

Gabriel always—always—returned to his thoughts no matter how much Jack sometimes wished he would fade.

Jack curled up on the floor and closed his eyes. Tomorrow was another day. One day closer to his father’s death and his final tie to this town gone. Then he could disappear forever.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack has a reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Monday everybody, enjoy the chapter!
> 
> Beta: [Airafleeza](https://twitter.com/airafleeza)
> 
> Tumblr: [ohgodsalazarwhy](https://ohgodsalazarwhy.tumblr.com/)  
> Twitter:[ NoviceSalazar](https://twitter.com/NoviceSalazar)

The next morning, Jack was faced with what it really meant to be a caretaker when he had to help his father after a shit and then shower him. Jack had been in combat many times before; he was good at switching his brain off when faced with something he didn’t want to see. Brains dripping out of a man’s skull. His father’s dirty asshole.

The furious, uncomfortable silence was somehow worse than the criticism.

Jack took his own shower once his father was settled in his recliner, frantically scrubbing under the scalding hot water. The tub was stained from years of neglect, the shower head covered in hard water and every inch of the grout turned yellow. He shifted from one foot to the other as he tried to wash away the grimy feeling he’d had since arriving. Everything in his father’s house had been allowed to rot away. It made Jack wonder what would have become of him if he’d stayed.

He couldn’t get out of the shower fast enough. He dressed and went straight for the kitchen, knowing he needed to make something easy on his father’s stomach.

_ Why am I doing this _ ? Jack asked himself over and over again as he made breakfast, feeling like some kind of robot as he went through the motions of toast and eggs. He moved from the kitchen to the bathrooms and started to clean. He couldn’t answer the question, but he couldn’t drop the scrubber and leave either.

_ Coward. _

He cleaned until it was time to leave for his appointment. Jack washed up before grabbing his keys and asking his father if he needed anything.

John gave him a narrow, bitter look. “Some beer and cigarettes.”

“I’ll ask your doctor for some,” Jack said, wondering if it was petty to be snide with a dying man. 

The hospital waiting room was nearly empty when Jack entered. He let the nurse at the front desk know he had a meeting with Dr. Augustin. A child was crying quietly in the background as Jack waited. At least the hospital waiting room was sterile and didn’t smell like smoke and sour beer.

“Sir? Wait... Jack?”

Jack looked up and then startled. “Ana?” He quickly got to his feet, jaw nearly dropping to see her. She looked good, a few wrinkles on her face and her jet black hair going grey, but her eyes were sharp and she had the same wicked smile. Jack nearly laughed; she was wearing a white coat and a badge: Dr. Amari. She’d done well for herself.

“It’s so good to see you!” Ana ran in and drew Jack into a hug. He hugged her back, feeling real joy for the first time since entering Indiana. 

“Ana!” Jack lifted her up off the ground and she laughed, slapping him on the head with her clipboard. He set her down and rested his hands on her shoulders. “Look at you! A doctor! Just like you always wanted!”

Outside of Gabriel, Ana Amari had been Jack’s closest friend in high school. He’d abandoned her too, but she didn’t seem bitter at all about it. Her face was open, eyes bright as she grinned up at him. Perhaps... perhaps if he tracked down Gabriel, he would be happy to see him too? Of course... he didn’t have such a complicated history with Ana.

“Yes, and what about  _ you _ , Jack?” Ana hooked their arms together and led him towards the cancer ward. “Where have you been all these years? What have you been doing?” 

The fact that she didn’t ask  _ why have you come back _ meant she probably knew.

“I’ve been with the Marines, I joined right outside of high school,” said Jack, studying Ana. She looked happy and healthy, well adjusted. Between the three of them she always had been the steadiest, always known what she wanted to do. Jack had envied that about her, especially as they approached graduation and he was adrift.

“You never wrote,” she chided gently, stopping a moment to look up at him.

“No. I...” Jack ran a hand over his face, feeling where stubble was starting to grow in. “I’m a coward, Ana,” he admitted, “and I was running away.”

Ana shook her head, resting her other hand on his arm. “My Jackie, a coward? I don’t believe that for a moment.” She pulled away and slipped a card and pen out of her front pocket. “This isn’t the best place to catch up, but—” Ana quickly wrote down a number. “I have a day off on Wednesday and I want you to call me early in the morning so we can get breakfast.”

Jack took the card and felt such a wash of relief that his knees felt a little weak. “Of course,” he said, tucking the card into his back pocket. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

They arrived on the eighth door and walked down a hall of patient rooms before stopping outside the door of a Dr. Baptiste Augustin—oncology specialist, according to his little plaque. 

“You missed so much, Jack,” Ana said with a look of regret, “but you’re here now.”

He didn’t know what to say to that. To know that his choice had led to him missing a lifetime of events. Things he could never go back to, they had come and gone years ago. “I’ll see you on Wednesday.” A bit weak, but Jack wasn’t sure he wanted to get into things in this hallway.   
  
She stood on her toes to give him a kiss on both cheeks. “If you disappear on me this time, I’ll hunt you down.”   
  
Jack laughed, but Ana looked dead serious. He cleared his throat and nodded, knocking on the door as Ana left him be. “Come in.”

Jack opened the door and stepped into the office. The desk was meticulously clean, all the certificates and degrees on the wall framed with impressive precision. Dr. Augustin himself was a tall, incredibly handsome black man with eyes that were sharp but not unkind.

“Thank you for your patience, Mr. Morrison. Please, take a seat.” His voice was warm and lightly accented.

He shut the door behind him and took a seat before the desk, hands folded in his lap. “It’s not a problem, hospitals are busy. I’ve been in them a time or two. So... what did you want to tell me, Doctor Augustin?”

“Please, just call me Baptiste. I’m not much for formality,” Baptiste pulled out a manila folder from inside his desk and handed it to Jack. “Your father is very sick, Mr. Morrison—”

“Jack,” he murmured, opening the folder.

“—Jack,” Baptiste acquiesced. “He has some medications for pain but nothing else. The IV is filled with a saline solution to keep him hydrated, but it can also administer morphine if he can’t get the pills down.”

Jack looked over the papers, filled with detailed instructions about how to administer medication and maintain a sterile environment. Fuck, why had he come back here again? To serve this old, horrible man one last time? As if sensing his growing tension, Baptiste reached over the desk to close the folder and set it down between them, forcing Jack to meet his eye.

“Hey,” he said gently. “Jack. It’s going to be okay. I know it’s a lot, but your father seemed to think you were very capable. He told me he’d rather die at home with you than hospice here.”

“Should have kept him in hospice,” Jack said bitterly. “Did you even see the home you released him back into? It’s a dump.”

Baptiste inclined his head. “I’m aware of the state of Mr. Morrison’s home. Unfortunately, he is of sound mind and we cannot  _ force _ him to stay if he does not want to. He wanted to die in his home and he chose you as his live-in caretaker. Just as the state cannot force him, it cannot force you either, Jack. You are free to drop all of this and leave.”

Jack looked away, hands clenched into fists. “No... I’m not leaving.”

_ I’m a good son. One last time. _

“Of course. We’re going to be delivering a bed soon. As he loses strength, he won’t be able to walk around much. Everything you need to know about his medications and keeping him comfortable is in that folder. Every Friday a nurse will be by to give you a small break or answer questions. You can also call me at any time.” Baptiste said, it sounded like a speech he’d given many times before. “Now, any questions, Jack?”

Jack took the manila folder and glanced up at Baptiste, overwhelmed. He shook his head. “No, thank you, Baptiste... I should start heading home, I have a lot of cleaning left to do.”

“Take care of yourself, too, Jack,” said Baptiste seriously, looking at him over entwined fingers. “Being a caretaker takes a toll on people. Find resources and people who care about you and build a support network. I know it’s hard to lose a parent.”

Jack nodded and stood up. His father couldn’t die soon enough. 

He left the office, the folder tucked under his arm and made his own way out of the hospital, dodging nurses and doctors as they walked with purpose through the halls. He needed a Coke.

Jack drove back downtown and parked, resting his forehead against the steering wheel for a moment. His whole life had felt foggy since the day he’d run away from Gabriel, but it was worse than ever now. Seeing Ana had been like a burst of sunshine through the clouds, but it wasn’t enough to send them away. He was a forty-three-year-old man with nothing to show for the last twenty-five years and no hope for the future. Jack almost wished  _ he _ was the one dying of cancer. Maybe then he could at least stop caring.

He stepped out of the car and looked across the street at the corner store. No hooligans today. Jack locked up and walked across the road to buy a Coke from the disinterested clerk, dropping coins onto the counter and stepping outside to take a deep breath. He didn’t want to go home just yet. John seemed able to hobble around now, but soon enough his father would need round the clock care and Jack wouldn’t get more than a Friday to himself. Maybe he’d take a walk and try to clear his head.

Downtown was nothing like he remembered. Most of the old shops were replaced with newer, fancier boutiques or just shut down and left empty. Jack stood before what had once been a burger place he’d frequented with Gabriel, staring at the boarded-up window as if he could see through it and into the past. 

“Shouldn’t have come back here, partner.”

Jack let out an exasperated breath and turned to see Jesse, his little purple-haired friend, and an Asian guy with green hair all loitering together at the mouth of the alley to his left. “I’m just minding my own business. You should too,  _ cowboy _ .”

Jesse smirked. “You think you’re so tough, old man? Just wait until you see our friend. He’ll kick your ass.”

“Will he,” Jack deadpanned, taking a sip of his Coke.

The girl grinned. “He’s pretty upset you messed with Jesse.”

“As I recall, Jesse messed with me first.” Jack finished his Coke and calmly threw away the bottle. He could walk away, but some part of him was spoiling for a fight. He cracked his knuckles and walked further into the alley. 

Maybe he’d get shot, Jack mused idly, and the thought of dying in this back alley didn’t particularly scare him much. He’d never  _ kill _ himself, but he wouldn’t exactly turn away if death came for him, either. 

What the hell was wrong with him? 

The kids stopped at the end of the alley and Jesse gestured to someone around the corner. “This is the guy, Boss! Teach him why he should be afraid of messing with us!”

Someone sighed. “Well, if he wants to get his ass kicked, I won’t stop him.” 

The voice sounded  _ awfully _ familiar. Jack took a single step back as the man rounded the corner, and every fantasy, every wishful thought, and every daydream flew away all at once.

Jack gasped, hands flying over his mouth. “Gabe?” 

Gabriel’s jaw dropped, the cigarette he’d been smoking falling out of his mouth and onto the ground. There was a moment of tense silence, Jack’s heart pounding so hard in his chest he thought the sound of it was echoing down the alley. Then, all at once, Gabriel’s look of shock twisted in pure fury. 

“You!” he snarled.

Jack stumbled back as Gabriel lunged for him, hands shooting up to stop a thrown punch. Training took over even as his brain felt like it was rebooting, blocking punches and twisting from grapples as they struggled together. 

_ Gabriel _ . 

Not living in some fancy LA. apartment but hanging out in an alley in Bloomington with a bunch of delinquents. He had a little grey in his well-groomed beard, and Jack ripped off his beanie to see his once immaculately styled hair was shaved down to an even stubble. Gabriel had some scars on his cheeks and over the bridge of his nose, his cheeks hollow. 

Staring too much, Jack missed a blow to his temple, grunting as he was knocked to the ground. Gabriel jumped on him, straddling his hips and grabbing Jack by the collar of his shirt. Jack quickly brought his forearms over his face to protect it, blows raining down on his arms one after the other.

“You son of a bitch, I’ll kill you!” Gabriel roared.

“Boss! Jesus! Gabriel!”

“Gabi,  _ no _ !”

Jesse and his friends were grappling with Gabriel now, and someone’s foot nearly stepped on Jack’s head as all five of them struggled. All at once Gabriel was hauled off him and Jack scrambled back, seeing that it took all three of them just to keep him in place.  _ Barely _ . Jesse had his arms wrapped around Gabriel’s waist, muscles in his arms bulging as he struggled to keep him from twisting away. The purple-haired girl and the green-haired guy each had an arm.

“Let me go!” Gabriel snarled, fury twisting his voice. “Let me go  _ now _ !”

“We jus’ wanted you to scare the guy, not kill him!” Jesse yelled, grunting as Gabriel got his arm free from the girl and elbowed him in the gut.

Jack stumbled to his feet, breathing hard and leaning heavily against the wall of the alley. “Gabe, let’s talk about this,” he said quickly. “I can explain, I promise—”

“Shut the  _ fuck _ up, Morrison,” Gabriel spat furiously. “You fucking  _ coward _ , you piece of  _ shit _ !”

Gabriel threw off Jesse and the green-haired guy holding him back, but this time Jack was ready when he lunged. 

“Gabe! Stop, dammit!” he yelled as he grabbed Gabriel by the wrist and twisted his arm behind his back. Jack kicked Gabe in the back of the knee and threw himself against his back, hurling them both to the ground again.

There was a brief struggle until Jack got Gabriel’s arm locked straight up against Jack’s shoulder and knee on his back. Jack leaned in, Gabriel’s arm forced forward by his body, and Gabriel yelped as his arm was nearly popped out of its socket. Gabriel stilled, the two panting heavily as Jack kept him pinned. So much for wondering if Gabe would be happy to see him. Answered that fucking question.

“What the  _ fuck _ are you doing here, Morrison?” Gabriel snarled, turning his head to the side to glare up at Jack.

“My father is dying of cancer,” said Jack quickly. “I came back to take care of him.” . 

Gabriel’s hard breathing slowed and he turned his head again. “Let me go,” he grunted.

Jack hesitated. “Are we going to start fighting again?”

“Maybe,” Gabriel muttered, “but not right now.”

Jack slowly leaned back, giving Gabriel enough room to bend his arm before standing up. As Gabriel pushed himself to his feet, rolling his shoulder, Jack took a few steps back towards the mouth of the alley, almost expecting another attack. All three of the kids were just watching cautiously from the other end of the alley, Jesse rubbing his stomach where he’d been elbowed.

“Gabe,” Jack pleaded after a moment of silence, “can we just... go somewhere and talk?” 

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Gabriel said bitterly. “You made it pretty clear how you felt back then. I don’t need to hear all the reasons  _ why _ .”

“Gabe—”

“ _ No _ !” Gabriel spit on the ground in Jack’s direction, eyes filled with hate that cut Jack right to his core. “I don’t want to  _ ever _ see you again, Morrison!” He turned to face the kids and snapped, “And you three! Knock it off! You see him, you leave him alone!”

After a chorus of  _ yes  _ and  _ yes, Boss _ , Gabriel stormed off down the alley, shoving past the purple-haired girl and green-haired boy so hard that she nearly fell over until Jesse caught her wrist. They gave Jack an uncertain look then melted around the corner to follow him, leaving Jack alone in the alley with tears burning his eyes. He’d imagined some pretty bad reunions with Gabriel over the years, but the fact Jack had found him in some dirty back alley in Bloomington and not LA made this worse than all the others. It meant something in Gabriel’s life hadn’t gone right. 

Jack blinked and wiped the tears off his cheeks, turning on his heel and heading straight for his car. Fuck. Even after all these years, Jack's love for him had never died. Even the hate in Gabriel’s eyes or hurled abuse couldn’t dampen the way Jack felt. But he’d lost his chance many, many years ago. It was time to finally accept that.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack goes out and has brunch with an old friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to my beta Airafleeza
> 
> Tumblr: [ohgodsalazarwhy](https://ohgodsalazarwhy.tumblr.com/)  
> Twitter:[ NoviceSalazar](https://twitter.com/NoviceSalazar)

Jack hadn’t really wanted to go out, but Ana didn’t give him much of a choice when she texted him a time and location for Wednesday. He hadn’t even texted her like he’d promised;  _ she _ texted him. He wasn’t sure how she’d gotten his number but suspected he was listed as an emergency contact in his father's file. Jack suspected that she’d drive to the house and drag him, kicking and screaming, out into the daylight if he  _ didn’t _ show up.

He set his father up in the morning, listening vaguely to him rant about how the world was turning to shit and nobody remembered to keep God in their lives or something. After giving some pain medication, Jack left him sleeping in the recliner.

Ana had asked to meet at ten for brunch at some place downtown called  _ Bastet, _ which had replaced what had once been a homeless kitchen. It was decorated with shades of gold, turquoise, and black. There was a painting of a black cat standing before the pyramids and hieroglyphics painted as a trim along the middle of the wall. Sort of Egyptian themed. Jack noticed Ana sitting in the corner at a two-person table, sipping tea out of a black and gold cup. She glanced up at him and smiled, waving him over.

“Well, you don’t look so good,” she said as a way of greeting when Jack sat down across from her.

“Thanks,” he said wryly, ordering a cup of black coffee when the waitress wandered over to hand him a menu. It was mostly Middle Eastern dishes, Jack had never been a terribly adventurous eater but he’d learned to expand his palate after years of travel.

“I meant no disrespect,” said Ana kindly as she folded her hands over her menu without looking at it, “but if you don’t take care of yourself, how can you take care of your father?”

Jack set his own menu down to look at her. “What happened to Gabriel?”

Ana’s expression didn’t change, choosing instead to pick up her tea and take a sip as her eyes slid away from Jack’s. The waitress came over, inappropriately bubbly, and asked, “Are we ready to order?”

“Pita and hummus plate,” Jack grunted, handing over his menu.

“Mahshi,” said Ana, “with the bell peppers, thank you, dear.”

The waitress wrote down their orders, took the menus, and disappeared through the door to the kitchen. Jack turned his eyes back on Ana, who was still drinking her tea. He could wait. He’d learned patience a long time ago. 

She finally set down her cup and clasped her fingers together as she leaned on the table to look at him. “You know, Jack, I feel like the better question is what happened to  _ you _ ?”

“I joined the Marines, I told you that,” said Jack a bit testily.

“Why? I’d like to think we were pretty close back in the day, and you told people you were thinking of going to school to get a degree in… what was it... exercise? Sports medicine?”

“Exercise science,” Jack muttered, remembering the lie well.

“Then one day,” she continued, “you’re gone without a word and Gabriel is left  _ devastated _ . Something happened between you two, but he’s never told me what. Though, I have some thoughts.” Ana took a very  _ pointed _ sip of her tea then set it down with a gentle clink. “What  _ happened _ to you, Jack? You disappeared and we didn’t know if you were alive or dead—even your own father didn’t know where you were. We found out about a  _ year _ after you’d gone that you weren’t dead, but your father wouldn’t tell us anything else.”

“My father’s not a nice man,” said Jack.

“Well, I don’t think you’re a very nice man either, Jack,” said Ana, her gaze so intense that he had to look away. “What you did to us, to Gabriel, wasn’t very  _ nice _ .”

Jack grit his teeth as he stared at a piece of art across the restaurant, fingers pressed to his temple. “Did you call me here just to berate me?” 

“Jack. Look at me.”

Gentle fingers brushed his wrist, guiding his hand away from his face. She gripped his chin and forced him, though softly, to turn his head and look at her. There was no malice on her face—no pity—just this  _ kindness _ that somehow hurt worse. Jack swallowed and shut his eyes.

“Jack, please,” she said quietly, “I didn’t bring you out here to berate you. It’s been so many years and you’re back. Don’t you see? You have a chance to make things right. Not many people get that chance.”

“It  _ is _ too late. I saw Gabriel the other day and he wanted me  _ dead _ .” Jack shook his head. “There’s no coming back from that.”

“Oh Jack,” said Ana softly, cupping his cheek. Her hand was warm and a little calloused against him. “You’ve been running so long you don’t know how to stop, do you? It’s time to look back at what you’ve been running from.”

“I  _ can’t _ ,” Jack whispered brokenly, pulling away from her touch and hiding his face in his hands.

“You don’t have a choice,” said Ana matter-of-factly. “Look at you: you’re barely holding it together. You probably don’t have much more than a year left before you run yourself into an early grave. I don’t want that for you, and Gabriel may think he never wants to see you again, but you’ve been in his thoughts for these past twenty-five years more than he’d ever admit. If something happened to you before you two had a chance to reconcile, he’d never forgive himself.”

“He’d probably rather kill me himself,” Jack muttered bitterly because bitterness was easier than sorrow—easier than turning around and facing the dogs snapping at his heels.

“Jack,” she said sharply, and he glanced at her again, “I  _ also _ didn’t bring you out here to listen to you drown in self-pity. I am offering you a lifeline, but I will not wrap your fingers around the rope.”   
  
He didn’t know what to say about that, but he did take his head out of his hands and straighten up. At this point he wasn’t even sure if he wanted a lifeline. 

“I think we’ve talked enough about me,” said Jack, leaning back a bit as the waitress returned with their food and set the plates down before them. “What about you, Ana? What have you been up to over the years?”

“Besides get my medical license?” she asked with a smile, it did not match the sharp look in her eye. She knew what he was doing and was making it clear that she was  _ letting _ him get away with it.

“Besides that,” said Jack, picking up his coffee and taking a drink. Maybe she was letting him off the hook reluctantly, but he appreciated it all the same. He wasn’t sure how much more he could take.

“I have a daughter.” She finished off her tea and set the cup aside to eat. “Her name is Fareeha. I had a husband for a while, but my time in medical school saw us divorced. He lives in Canada now. Good man. A good father.” Ana sounded very matter-of-fact about the divorce, there seemed to be no pain there. “Fareeha is actually learning to fly the jets in the military. Air Force.”

Jack set his cup down and felt real happiness for all Ana had managed to accomplish. She had something to  _ show _ for the last twenty-five years; she’d lived an entire life and raised another, while Jack was floating aimlessly around the world. “How much is Fareeha like her mother?” Jack asked, picking up a slice of pita and dipping it in the hummus.

Ana laughed lightly, covering her mouth with the back of her hand. “Oh, perhaps  _ too _ much. She’s stubborn, headstrong... I wish she hadn’t joined the military but it seems to bring her happiness.”

“More power to her,” said Jack, washing down his food with the last of his coffee. He pushed a bit of hummus around on his plate with the tines of his fork, metal tapping and scratching gently over the ceramic. 

“I couldn’t stay in Bloomington,” he said after a moment of silence.

Ana was still eating, taking her time where Jack had plowed through his meal like a man who didn’t have any time left to take. She watched him shrewdly but didn’t say anything. Jack felt that if he couldn’t tell Ana, then he couldn’t tell  _ anyone _ . 

“My father was—is—a cruel man...” he continued a little clumsily, still running abstract lines through the hummus. “Bloomington felt like it was closing in on me. I wanted to travel. Or... I guess I just wanted to escape. Gabriel had been accepted to his dream program and I hadn’t even applied to college and even though I told everyone I was I knew I wouldn’t. I wanted to grab Gabe and run... but he had a life here I couldn’t take him from.”

Ana pursed her lips into a thin line. “You’re not telling me something.”

“Gabriel and I--We...” Jack wearily dropped his fork onto the plate with a clatter. “Gabriel and I met on the playground the night before I left. I… he... we...” Jack groaned and let his head fall into his hands; he’d never told anyone this. Dragging it out of him now was agony, like someone was yanking his heart out of his throat with a fishhook.

“We kissed, ”Jack finally managed. “I panicked. I ran.” 

“Oh, Jack,” Ana murmured.

“We fought about my father and I saw everything I’d ever wanted set before me on a silver platter and... I’m such a fucking coward.” Jack sighed and stared down at his plate. “That’s why Gabriel  _ hates _ me. He tried to give me everything and I just slapped it back into his face and ran for it. I couldn’t stay in Bloomington and he couldn’t leave so—”

“Did you ask him to leave?”

Jack looked up at her incredulously. “What?”

“Did you ask him to go with you?” she repeated calmly.

“I...no,” said Jack slowly, his brain twisting into knots inside his skull. What Ana suggested wasn’t possible, it just  _ wasn’t _ — “He’d just been accepted to music school, that was his dream—”

“Oh, Jack.”

“Don’t you  _ oh Jack _ me,” he snapped like a bear being poked over and over with a sharp stick, slamming his fist on the table and causing their plates and silverware to clatter. A salt shaker fell over and he quickly grabbed it and righted it, feeling foolish at his sudden loss of control.

Ana sniffed, unphased by his outburst. “If you really think Gabriel’s greatest dream was music school, you didn’t know him half as well as you thought.”

“If you knew him so well then what  _ was _ his greatest dream, Ana?” Jack said snidely, feeling thoroughly rubbed raw. He couldn’t even muster up the mental energy to feel bad about being a complete bastard to the only person willing to talk to him. It was like he  _ wanted _ to die alone and unloved.

Ana’s smile was cold. “I’m afraid you’ll have to ask Gabriel that, my old friend.”

As soon as it had come, Jack felt the anger drain out of him, leaving him tired and hollow. “Ana I— ”

“I know, Jack,” she said softly, reaching over to gently pat his hand where it rested on the table. “I know.”

Despite the ups and downs of brunch, Ana made it clear she wanted to see him again sooner rather than later. Jack drove back to his father’s house, beating himself up for being a complete asshole to her. It was astounding that she ever wanted to see him again with the way he’d behaved back there. No wonder he’d never had any lasting relationships, platonic or otherwise.

His father was asleep in his chair while the TV blared and Jack stepped through the front door. He turned the TV off and started vacuuming. John jolted away and immediately started to speak, but whatever abuse he was hurling couldn’t be heard over the sound of the vacuum. Jack counted his small blessings, humming under his breath as he worked. Unfortunately, he couldn’t vacuum forever.

“—waking a man up when he’s asleep! You’re inconsiderate, boy, is what you are! I raised you better than that. What are you, a housewife? With the way you clean you’d think I’d married you—”

Jack crouched down to wrap the cord around the back of the vacuum and rolled it into the hallway closet, shoving aside a few of John’s coats from his days as a charismatic preacher. Now they were old, dusty, and full of holes. Jack would have to throw them out the next time John fell asleep.

“Are you even listening to me?” his father snapped as Jack started to dust.

“Yes,” Jack said shortly without looking over at him. “Do you need something?”

John was quiet for a moment, the air thick with his irritation. “Turn the TV back on.”

Jack did, and they spent the rest of the day ignoring each other. Jack cleaned and helped John, turning his brain off for the more disgusting parts of the job. After seeing his father to bed, Jack took a long hot shower, went to his room, and collapsed on his bedroll.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack heads out into the woods with a stranger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to my beta Airafleeza
> 
> Tumblr: [ohgodsalazarwhy](https://ohgodsalazarwhy.tumblr.com/)  
> Twitter:[ NoviceSalazar](https://twitter.com/NoviceSalazar)
> 
> I've really appreciated all the comments from everyone, thank you for continuing to read this story!

Jack told himself to stay out of town, but come Friday he drove straight to the corner store. He jumped through all the mental hoops: he was just getting a pop, supporting a local business. The truth was he couldn’t stop thinking about his meeting with Gabriel and couldn’t leave well enough alone. 

Jack parked and spotted Jesse playing on his phone alone. He got out of the car and shut the door quietly, Jesse seemingly oblivious to what was going on around him. He slipped into the corner store and bought two Cokes, bringing them out and walking over to Jesse who was playing some kind of matching game.

Jack held out the Coke between the screen of the phone and Jesse’s face.

“Christ!” Jesse startled so bad he fumbled his phone and nearly dropped it on the concrete. Jack took a step back but still held the Coke out, a peace offering. Instead of taking it, Jesse stuffed his phone in his pocket and tried to make a break for it down the alley.

A smart man, a man with his shit together, would have just let Jesse go.

Jack was not that man. He dropped the Cokes on the ground and ran after him.

Jesse didn’t get more than a few strides down the alley before Jack grabbed him by the bandana around his neck, stopping him so fast he choked. Before he could start squirming, Jack swung him around and shoved Jesse into the brick wall, pinning him with his chest against Jesse’s back. He slapped a hand over Jesse’s mouth before he could yell and waited a moment. His heart was beating so hard he wondered if Jesse could feel it fluttering against his back. 

“I just want to talk,” said Jack quietly. “If I remove my hand... are you going to scream?”

Jesse slowly shook his head.

“Good,” said Jack softly, fisting his hand in the back of his bandana again. “Now I’m going to let you go... are you going to run?”

“N-naw,” Jesse said like he was speaking to a cobra he was staring down.

Jack slowly pulled away, but he was tense, ready for Jesse to lash out or make a break for it. He did neither. He turned around and, with his back to the wall, slowly slid down to sit on the dirty ground. Jack kept an eye on him as he went back to grab the Cokes he’d dropped and passed one to Jesse. This time he took it without a fuss.

They pointed the bottles away from themselves when they opened them, foam pouring out before the pressure dropped and left them with some slightly flat pops. Jesse licked some sugary Coke off his hand as Jack made sure there was no broken glass before sitting down.

“Gabriel is gonna kill me if he knows I’m talkin’ to you,” said Jesse after they’d been drinking in silence for a bit.

“What is he, some kind of gang leader?” Jack asked quietly, taking a sip of his flat Coke.

Jesse seemed embarrassed .“Nothin’ so formal,” he muttered.

“You call him Boss,” Jack pointed out.

Jesse scratched his cheek and ran his fingers through his beard. “Sure.”

Jack waited for clarification but didn’t get any. “Okay, fine,” he sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. “Where can I find him?”

“I ain’t gonna tell you that,” Jesse jut his chin out stubbornly. “He said he didn’t ever want to see you again. What d’you even want with him?”

The words still stung even coming from this drawling kid. “I know what he said,'' Jack snapped, harsher than he’d intended, “but I don’t think whatever we’ve got going on is your business. I just want to clear things up and you  _ know _ where he is.”

“If it concerns Gabriel then it is my business!” Jesse retorted.

Jack shifted forward, drawing one leg under him as his expression grew stormy. “You’re going to tell me—”

“Or what?” Jesse challenged. “You gonna beat me up? Torture me until I tell you?”

“I...” The look on his face took the wind out of Jack’s sails. He sat back down heavily. “No,” he said weakly, “of course not.”

Jesse watched him cautiously, like any moment Jack would lunge across the alley and start strangling him. Sitting miserably on the dirty ground drinking his Coke, Jack wasn’t quite sure where to go from here. Some part of him had assumed Jesse would roll over like a frightened dog, but he had more of a spine than anticipated. It made Jack feel worse for counting on scaring this kid into betraying Gabriel.

“I don’t know what I’m doing here,” Jack lamented, tossing the Coke bottle into a dumpster further down the alley. It spun and landed perfectly inside. He pushed himself to his feet, brushing dirt off his jeans.

“How do you know Gabriel?” Jesse asked all at once, head tilted back as he watched Jack.

Jack opened his mouth to snap it was none of his business for a second time but stopped. Jesse  _ would _ see it as his business if he thought he was the doorway through which Jack had to pass to get to Gabriel in the first place. “We were old childhood friends.” Jack leaned back against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. “Inseparable since we were barely old enough to walk until we graduated high school.”

“What happened?”

“I ran away.” Jack let his head fall back against the wall and looked up at the sliver of blue sky above them. “and I... I hurt Gabriel by doing so. I don’t blame him for being furious with me. I just want to clear the air, to  _ talk _ . If he wants to keep hating me after that then...fine. I’ll leave him alone.”

Jesse finished his Coke and dropped the bottle on the ground. Jack glared, and Jesse sheepishly picked it up and walked over to the dumpster. “Why’d you run?” 

“I couldn’t stay in Bloomington. I just... I couldn’t,” Jack said lamely. He wished he had some grand reason why, but he didn’t. He sounded just as stupid saying it to Jesse as he did saying it to Ana.

Jesse wasn’t looking at Jack but instead at a spot on the ground he was rubbing with the toe of his boot. “Place has a way of closin’ in on you,” he said. “I... I think I get it.”

Jack straightened up a bit. “You do?”

“Yeah.” Jesse rubbed the hair on his chin, but he still wouldn’t meet Jack’s eye. “I do. Th’ suffocation, feelin’ everythin’ close in around you until you feel like you gotta run or get crushed.”

“Yes!” Jack gasped, hands falling to his side as he took a step towards Jesse. “Exactly!” Except...that meant Jesse... “Oh.” He deflated a little at the implication. “Why don’t you leave? What’s tying you here?”

“It’s complicated.”

Jack dropped it, Jesse’s defensive tone telling him not to press for answers. He glanced up at the sliver of blue sky he could see through the alley before looking back at Jesse. “Hey, wanna go for a drive? Get out of town?”

Jesse perked up at the offer. “Can we get some drinks too?”

“I don’t know... how old are you?” Jack asked, looking Jesse up and down critically.

Jesse fumbled out a worn leather wallet. “I’m twenty-four, you wanna see my ID?” He showed him his ID, which Jack took the liberty of grabbing to get a better look. 

Jesse McCree, age twenty-four. In a few months he’d be twenty-five, too old to be hassling people outside of a corner store or sitting around alleys playing on a phone. Didn’t he have a job? When Jack flipped his driver’s license over he noticed Jesse had a motorcycle endorsement too.

Jack handed back the ID. “Alright, we’ll grab some drinks,” he said, walking out of the alley as Jesse stuffed his wallet into his back pocket and followed him. He was surprisingly friendly, considering the first time they’d met he’d tried to rob Jack.

They walked out of the corner store with enough cheap beer and whiskey to start a decent party. As soon as Jesse was in Jack’s car, he was already cracking open one of the room temperature beers. Jack wasn’t so irresponsible to drink while driving; he could catch up when they found a place to pull over, and he knew  _ just _ the place. 

There was something delightfully self-destructive and illicit about driving out of town to get drunk with a near-complete stranger. It wasn’t meeting Ana for lunch and facing his problems; it was running away again, if only for a little bit.

Jack let Jesse control the radio, which meant he was howling along to country songs as he drank and tossed beer cans into the back seat of Jack’s car. That itch inside him that wanted everything clean twinged a bit each time, but it was better than Jesse chucking the cans out the window, he supposed.

“Where we goin’, Jack?” Jesse belched and cracked open another beer.

“Old quarry,” said Jack, taking a turn onto a dirt road and following it into a thick forest. The overgrown road told Jack the old hangout spot wasn’t as popular as it had been when he was a kid. He ignored the  _ no trespassing _ signs and pulled the car into a turnoff.

“Grab the booze,” said Jack as he stepped out of the car and stretched, back and knees cracking audibly. He led the way into the woods, going off-road and needing to bushwack his way through what had once been a well-trod path.

“There are other quarries that ain’t so hard to get to,” Jesse grumbled as he was slapped in the face with another branch.

Jack pursed his lips in irritation. “This is the one  _ we _ went to.”. 

After a couple of minutes fighting nature, Jack finally slowed down as the forest came to an end, leading them to the brim of a long-abandoned quarry. He sighed in relief and sat down on the edge of it, looking down into the gorgeous aquamarine water nearly a hundred feet below.

“There used to be an abandoned cabin we used to hang around in.” said Jack as Jesse plopped down beside him further from the edge. “Imagine that’s long gone, it was in bad shape even in  _ our _ time. During the driest summers we could even climb down to the bottom of the quarry.”

Jack took the beer Jesse handed to him and cracked it open with a hiss.

“What’d you do after you left?” Jesse asked, finishing the beer he’d been nursing during their little hike and tossing it straight into the pool below. Jack frowned but he supposed there was his fair share of pop bottles down there, and he didn’t really want to ruin an irresponsible, self-destructive day out by lecturing someone about littering.

“I was in the Marines,” said Jack, finishing his beer and then pouring some whiskey into the empty beer can, he hadn’t thought about bringing cups. Was it more or was it less pathetic to drink whiskey out of an empty beer can?

“That why you’re so strong, partner?” Jesse asked, his hand coming up to his neck.

“It taught me some stuff.” Jack leaned back on one hand as he drank. “Learned to fight, learned to sort of speak some languages. A lot of everything, really.”

“Shit, maybe I should do that,” Jesse said as he grabbed the whiskey and drank straight out of the bottle.

Jack shook his head. “Unless it’s really what you want to do, don’t bother. It didn’t bring me any happiness—though maybe I should encourage you to join the military,” he mused between sips. “You could use some discipline so you’re not trying to mug complete strangers.”

Jesse flushed. “... I didn’t realize you were some super soldier.”

“That makes it okay?” Jack took a deep drink of whiskey from his beer can. “You usually prefer targeting old ladies?”

Jesse shoved him. “No! Shit, partner, I didn’t come out here to get a lecture!”

Jack laughed. He was starting to feel a little tipsy. “Alright, alright, I’ll lecture you later. You an’ your friends all seem like you could use a few lectures! What’s Gabe even doin’ with all of you?”

“I’m not tellin’ you where he lives,” Jesse drawled. “I ain’t that drunk yet.”

Jack grinned, finishing off his whiskey and just tossing the beer can over the edge. He watched it spin down into the water below. “How drunk do I need to get you?” 

“Jack.” Jesse threw his arm over Jack’s shoulder and prodded him in the chest. “We both need to be so drunk we ain’t gonna remember  _ anythin’ _ we tell each other.”

Jack could drink to that.

Then things got a bit fuzzy. Jack found himself standing on the edge of the quarry without remembering how he got there, looking down into the water as he slurred on about what it was like living in Japan. 

“So, uhhh.” He stumbled back from the edge. “They got these... paper doors.” He swayed and sat down with a laugh. “I put so many fuckin’ holes in those goddamn doors.”

“How d’ya heat a house with paper doors?” Jesse asked blearily.

“Not  _ all _ th’ doors are paper.”

Between one blink and the next Jack had one arm draped over Jesse’s shoulders as they sang the only song they both sort of knew, which was “Ring of Fire” by Johnny Cash. Jesse howled like a goddamn wolf when he sang and Jack cracked up so hard he had to pull away and throw up into the bushes.

Then he was laying on his stomach over the edge of the quarry with Jesse beside him and they were trying to see who could spit the furthest. They’d finished off the entire bottle of whiskey and all the beer, and Jack couldn’t remember the last time he’d been  _ this _ drunk—and he’d been a high functioning alcoholic for about ten years of his service.

Jesse spit and Jack scoffed. “Pathetic, watch this.” He spit and they both watched as it landed a few inches further than the little ripples Jesse had caused.

“Now that ain’t fair. You’re leanin’ further off the side.”

Jack laughed, blinked, and opened his eyes to find he was laying on his back staring up at the sky as it turned to twilight, Jesse snoring and drooling onto his bare chest. Where the hell was his shirt? Jesse’s shirt was gone too—kid was so hairy it scratched against Jack’s skin as his chest rose and fell with each loud snore. Jack rubbed his temple; he had a  _ furious _ headache and his mouth tasted like vomit. 

“Jesse,” he grumbled, shaking his shoulder. “Jesse, get up...”

Jesse let out a sound of protest and just rolled off Jack to lay in the dirt and keep snoring. Jack slowly pushed himself to his feet, swaying a little before he caught himself on the trunk of a nearby tree. He carefully walked up to the edge of the quarry to piss and winced when he saw both their shirts tangled in some branches down at the bottom. Well... they weren’t getting those back. 

He stumbled his way back to Jesse and bent down to shake him again. “Jesse. Jesse, wake up, we need to go back. We can’t stay here.”

Jesse groaned and covered his head with his arms.

Jack took that as a sign he was awake and grabbed one of his arms by the crook of his elbow, hauling him to his feet. Jesse sagged against him, causing Jack to back into a nearby tree. “Come on, boy,” Jack growled, lightly slapping Jesse on the cheek as he tried to wake him up.

“I’m tired,” he slurred, wrapping his arms around Jack’s shoulders and leaning heavily against him. “An’ I’m drunk still.” Jesse fumbled around in his pocket before pulling out his phone and muttering, “Imma call Gabriel.”

“Uh, I don’t think—” Jack tried to snatch the phone, but Jesse chose at that moment to pull away and stumble off.

“Booosss,” he whined into the phone, “‘m drunk in th’ woods an’ I need a ride.” Jack couldn’t hear the other half of the conversation, but he did see the way Jesse winced and pulled the phone away from his ear for a moment. “We’re at some quarry… I dunno its name—”

“Rosewood,” Jack muttered under his breath.

“Rosewood,” Jesse slurred. “Boss  _ pleeease _ come? Y’know Sombra got her license suspended for that thing an’ Genji don’t drive an’ we don’t wanna die in these woods.”

Jesse wandered close enough that Jack could just barely hear. “— _ you and your stupid friends better be somewhere easy to find _ .”

“We’ll be by his car,” Jesse promised, rubbing his arm over his eyes. “Thanks, Boss.”

“ _ Whatever _ .”

Jesse stuffed his phone back into his pocket and grinned at Jack. “C’mon, I think I’m gonna need help gettin’ back to th’ car.”

Jack’s knees felt like they were going to give out. He was drunk, and Gabriel was going to take one look at him before running him down with his car. Jack wrapped one arm around Jesse’s waist while Jesse had an arm over his shoulder. Between two pairs of legs, they managed to struggle through the bushes and back to where Jack had parked his car. 

If he didn’t have to get home to his father he might have climbed into the back seat and passed out again to avoid riding with Gabriel. Sure, he wanted to see him but not while he was emotional and vulnerable and seconds away from throwing up. Jack sagged against his car, arms over the roof as he pressed his forehead against the cold metal.

“I’ll help you pick it back up,” said Jesse, misunderstanding his dramatic swooning. Jack muttered his thanks, sliding down the side of his car to lay in the dirt.

There was the sound of a car approaching and all at once the growing gloom was split by headlights washing over them. Jack had his arms over his head in some futile hope that Gabriel wouldn’t recognize him—or would mistake him for some poor corpse he could leave here to rot.

The car came to a stop, some old diesel based on the way it rumbled as it idled, and the door opened.

“Boss!” Jesse slurred happily. “You came!”

“You’re so fucking stupid, Jesse,” Gabriel snapped. “Getting drunk at this old place? How the  _ fuck _ did you even find—”

Jack turned his head and peeked out from his arms, but with the headlights shining directly on him, he could see little more than Gabriel’s silhouette. There was an uncomfortable amount of silence that was promptly broken by Jesse stumbling by Jack and right up to Gabriel, sagging against him with an arm over his shoulders.

“C’mon, let’s gooo,” he complained. “I’m tired an’ hungry.”

“Get in the car,” said Gabriel sharply, shrugging Jesse off him.

Jack pushed himself up on his elbows. Was Gabriel  _ actually _ going to leave him out here? Before he got his answer, Gabriel strode forward. Jack grunted as strong hands grabbed and hauled him to his feet, slamming him up against the side of his car.

“What the hell were you doing out here with Jesse?” he snarled under his breath, quiet enough that Jesse—who was fumbling to get in the front seat of the car—couldn’t hear him.

“What’s it look like?” Jack asked groggily.

Gabriel narrowed his eyes. “...I don’t know what you’re playing at Morrison, but knock it off. You leave him alone.”

“Christ.” Jack rolled his eyes. “He’s not a child. If he wants to get into a stranger’s car and get drunk at a remote quarry that’s his business.”

Gabriel wrinkled his nose, looking him up and down. “You are... sloppy drunk.”

“No,” said Jack firmly, hands coming up to grip Gabriel’s shoulders, “I  _ was _ sloppy drunk. Right now I’m just... I think I’m gonna—” He sagged against him, only to have Gabriel scramble backward and leave him to collapse into the dirt. Jack threw up, propped up on his elbows, just barely keeping himself from collapsing in his own mess. He was grabbed by the back of the neck, pulled to his feet, and shoved towards the car.

Jack found his way into the back seat and spread out over it, Jesse already snoring in the front seat with his head pressed against the window.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” Gabriel muttered to himself as he started turning the car around. “I should just leave you here, you piece of shit. Just like you did to me.”

“Gabe, no,” Jack slurred, throwing his arm over his eyes as the car bounced on the dirt road.

“Shut up. I don’t want to hear it.”

“But I wanna say it,” he nearly sobbed, not drunk enough to be free of shame but too drunk to stop crying. “All these years you’re all I’ve thought about. Leaving was my g-greatest regret. I’m s-such a coward, G-Gabe! I’m sorry!”

“For God’s sake,  _ shut up _ !” Gabriel snapped.

Jack sniffed wetly and rolled over to cry against the back of the seat, whole body aching like he was one big exposed nerve. The rumbling engine covered most of his sobbing, he hoped, but Jack was sure Gabriel knew what he was doing back here. He was so  _ pathetic _ ; any hope of getting Gabriel to speak to him seemed impossible now.  _ Why _ had he done this again? Getting away from everything with some guy he barely knew, getting closer to him to learn more about Gabriel. At the time it seemed like a good idea.

Instead, he got dangerously drunk in a dangerous place, learned  _ nothing _ , and was now crying in the back of Gabriel’s car. He’d had nightmares like this before. 

“I jus’ wanna make up for what I did,” Jack sniffled miserably. “I  _ miss _ you.”

Gabriel didn’t say anything.

Jack ended up dozing, the rumbling of the car and Jesse’s snoring sending him to sleep. He didn’t wake up until he was roughly grabbed and yanked out of the car. Jack struggled for only a second until he realized it was Gabriel. He leaned heavily against him as he was brought to the front door. Jack fumbled with his keys, eventually unlocking it. The door swung open into the dark entrance hall.

Gabriel gave him a shove and he gasped, tripping over the sill and sprawling across the entrance hall linoleum with a pained grunt. Jack rolled onto his back. “Gabe—” but Gabriel was already gone, the car pulling out of the gravel driveway. He gritted his teeth on a sob and threw an arm over his face. He was such a fucking idiot.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack deals with a hangover and gets dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to my beta Airafleeza
> 
> Tumblr: [ohgodsalazarwhy](https://ohgodsalazarwhy.tumblr.com/)  
> Twitter:[ NoviceSalazar](https://twitter.com/NoviceSalazar)

Jack wasn’t entirely sure how he found his way to his bedroom, but he woke up the next morning with a pounding headache and soft morning light filtering through his window. He groaned and buried his face into his flat pillow, back aching from sleeping on the floor. He really needed to buy an air mattress or something. Jack fought to get his phone out of his pocket and somehow managed to plug it in. He opened it up and sent Ana a bleary text.

**Jack Morrison 7:15AM**

_ Ana I fucked up _

**Ana Amari 7:15AM**

_ What did you do _

**Jack Morrison 7:16AM**

_ I got drunk with a guy I don’t know at our old quarry and Gabe had to pick us both up. I may have cried in the back of his car. _

Just typing it out made his face heat up in shame. Jack groaned into his arms and then reluctantly pushed himself to sit up. He was way too old to get drunk like that--his head felt like it was going to pop off and roll away. Wouldn’t that be a fucking blessing.

His phone buzzed and he glanced down.

**Ana Amari 7:18AM**

_ Oh Jack... _

That was an  _ oh Jack _ he deserved.

“You smell like booze,” was the first thing John said to him when Jack showed up to help him out of bed.

Jack pursed his lips and got John’s skinny, wasted arm over his shoulder to help him out of bed. He made sure John had a good grip on the IV stand he had to drag around with him everywhere. Jack helped his father take a sponge bath and go to the bathroom, then set him up in his armchair with a glass of water as he went into the kitchen to start on breakfast—not that Jack had much of an appetite.

“You just going to ignore me until I die, boy?” John wheezed from the living room.

“What do you want me to say?” Jack asked a bit testily as he placed a lid over the eggs he was cooking to steam the whites the rest of the way.

“Where the hell were you yesterday?”

“I went out drinking with...” Ah jeez, what would he call Jesse? “I just went out drinking. Bar hopping.”

“Disgraceful,” John hissed, followed by a wheezing cough. “I spent all those years trying to raise you right and look at what you grew into.”

Jack opened his mouth to argue that he was a decorated veteran, something any other parent would be proud of but shut his mouth and stared down into the eggs, watching the whites bubble up as the little bit of water in the pan steamed and cooked them. He slid the eggs onto a plate with a piece of buttered toast and brought it into the living room for his father, who groused at Jack to turn on the TV.

“Can I ask you a question?” Jack asked, just staring down at the withered form of his father.

“What?” John snapped.

Jack clasped his hands before him, looking into John’s watery, faded blue eyes. “What  _ exactly _ do you want from me?” 

“What are you talking about?” John ate a little crumb of toast and grimaced down at the plate like it had personally offended him.

“What would have made you happy?” Jack asked quietly.

“Having a family for one,” he said, setting the plate aside with barely any of the food eaten. “Wife, kids... I’m going to die without knowing any grandchildren!”

Jack wrinkled his nose a bit; saving children from this man might be the greatest thing he’d ever done, but he would never say that out loud. “I’m not going to have children,” said Jack calmly, “so what else would you have wanted?”

“Staying here and running the church,” said John. Jack knew both these things were as impossible to do now as they’d been when he had been young. 

If he’d stayed in Bloomington to become a preacher, his father still would have found a way to be disappointed in him. The thought had come across his mind before, but Jack had never seen the truth quite so clearly: his father would  _ never _ be proud of him. There was  _ nothing _ he could do to please John—not even leaving the Marines, staying in the closet, or biting his tongue was enough. 

The last 43 years were spent constantly running in these mental circles of knowing his father was a monster but coming right back like a kicked dog hoping for the slightest praise. His entire life had been for a bitter, horrible old man who used to beat Jack black and blue, who used to scream and hurl abuses for the smallest slights.

“Maybe before I die you can at  _ least _ find a good woman,” his father muttered, shifting down in his recliner and reaching over to untangle the IV snaked around his arm.

Jack made a noncommittal noise and walked over to turn on the TV. He left his father alone, going back into his room to check the charge on his phone. There were a couple new texts.

**Ana Amari 7:30AM**

_ Would you like to meet for dinner tonight? _

**Unknown Number 8:00AM**

_ Sry about last night _

Jack’s brow furrowed. It wasn’t hard to figure out it was probably Jesse.

**Jack Morrison 9:00AM**

_ How did you get my number? _

**Unknown Number 9:01AM**

_ dunno _

There were a couple black out periods. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility that Jesse had somehow ended up with his number. Jack quickly updated the contact information. Including Jesse, a person he barely knew, Jack only had ten numbers in his phone.

**Jack Morrison 9:04AM**

_ Did Gabe say something about me _

**Jesse McCree 9:04AM**

_ dunno when I woke up I was in bed :( _

Jack sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. Maybe he was just a glutton for punishment.

What was the chance that Gabe even had anything nice to say in the first place?

**Jesse McCree 9:05AM**

_ Your alright. Want 2 hang again? _

**Jack Morrison 9:05AM**

_ No more drinking _

**Jesse McCree 9:06AM**

_ Fine :( _

Jack chuckled weakly and then switched over to his conversation with Ana.

**Jack Morrison 9:07AM**

_ Dinner sounds good _

**Ana Amari 9:08AM**

_ Meet you at Bastet at 8 tonight _

Jack set his phone down, starting to pick at a loose thread in his rumpled sheets. Right, well... no point in just hanging around in his room. He grabbed his tablet and walked back out to sit on the couch, playing games and browsing the internet while his father slipped between sleeping and groggily watching the television.

Anyone could see John was  _ fading _ . How much longer did he have left? A week? Two weeks? A month? Jack felt weirdly detached as he looked at the frail form of his father, who already looked half in the grave. Shouldn’t he feel  _ something _ , some grave sorrow for the loss of his last remaining family? Did it make him a monster that he couldn’t muster up even the smallest amount of pity?

The day was perfectly uneventful after that. He just tried not to think about anything but what he was looking at on his tablet or the mechanics of caretaking. Jack got John into bed just before he was due to leave for his dinner with Ana, thoughts shifting to the eventual point in John’s care where Jack wouldn’t be able to leave the house. Jack grabbed his wallet and set out, checking his phone to make sure he wouldn’t be late as he headed downtown.

Ana waved him over to the same table they’d sat at last time. Jack took a seat with a long sigh, thanking the waitress as she came over with glasses of cold water and a pair of menus for them. Ana didn’t bother to look at hers as she gave Jack a small smile. “So, you had quite a night last night?”

Jack huffed behind his menu so he didn’t have to look at her. “More of a day thing...”

Ana tsked. “Day drinking at the old Rosewood quarry? I would think we were too old for that kind of nonsense.”

“Oh, we are,” he grimaced, setting the menu down. “My head  _ still _ hurts.”

“Poor baby,” she mocked, her smile curling into something sly.

“You have this sort of bedside manner with all your patients?”

“Only with the most foolish.”

They stared each other down for a moment and then burst into short-lived laughter, Jack’s head throbbing. He groaned, letting it fall into his hands. When the waitress came over, he sighed and sat up again to order shawarma while Ana ordered falafel.

Jack nursed his water, waffling between feeling hungry and nauseous. Ana watched him in that sharp way she had since they were kids. She took a sip of tea. “So... would you like to tell me about what happened with Gabriel last night?” 

“No,” he groaned.

“Are you going to?”

“ _ Yes _ , just…” Jack needed to gather his thoughts and  _ maybe  _ back away from the ledge of vomiting. “Give me a moment.” 

What was there to even tell? If it was anyone else he might try to wait them out, but there was nothing to be gained by dodging her here.

After a moment, Jack spoke. “Jesse and I were too drunk to drive last night,” he said, choosing his words carefully, “and unbeknownst to me, the only person Jesse could call was Gabriel. He agreed to come before he knew I was the one with Jesse.”

“I’m sure that was a shock for him,” said Ana mildly.

Jack rubbed his forehead. “I think... he threatened to leave me there?”

“But he didn’t.”

“I...no, he didn’t,” Jack said slowly, mulling the thought over. Jesse had already passed out in the car; Gabriel  _ easily _ could have left Jack out there without Jesse knowing in the moment. Maybe he’d find out later, but Jack didn’t think Gabriel was the type to care, and Jesse didn’t seem the type to hold a grudge. “I got into the backseat of his car. I don’t remember exactly what I said but I did, uh... start crying.”

Ana set her cup down with a small  _ clink! _ “I’m sure he loved that.” 

Jack sighed wearily. “I just want a chance to sit down and  _ talk _ . Even if he just tells me to fuck off after.”

“Gabriel doesn’t owe you that,” said Ana gently. “Nobody owes you a chance to explain yourself. All you can do right now, Jack, is try to do better going forward.”

Jack let out a sound of disgust and she laughed softly. He knew he wasn’t  _ owed _ anything, but how could he leave Bloomington without at least  _ trying _ to right his wrongs? Jack just wanted a quiet moment between the two of them. No brawling, no accusations—just time to clear the air. 

In Jack’s dreams it would end with a sweet kiss and all his sins would be forgiven. 

Apparently, he’d never grown out of daydreaming.

Ana cleared her throat before Jack's thoughts could drift too far away from her. “I have someone I’d like you to see.” She pulled out a card and slid it over the table.

Jack picked up the card to read it. The name was long, he suspected he’d probably butcher it but that wasn’t what really caught his eye. “Tekhartha Zenyatta,  _ LMHC _ ?”

“He’s very good,” she said, “and I’ve already spoken to him—”

“Ana!”

“—so your first visit is on me,” she spoke right over his objection. “Just see him  _ once _ , okay? That’s all I ask.”

He tucked the card into his pocket, muttering, “If you think I’m crazy you can just say so.” 

Ana reached over the table to take one of his hands in both of hers. “Jack, you are going through  _ so much _ right now... I just got you back into my life. I want to  _ keep _ you there.” She was speaking so sincerely that Jack had to look down at the table instead of into her face. It was too much to meet her eye right now. “I’m worried about you. I  _ care _ about you.”

“Even after... I left? Abandoned you and everyone else?” Jack whispered.

She squeezed his hand gently. “I love the boy who ran away just as much as I love the man who came back.”

When Jack glanced up into her eyes at last, he saw the truth of that reflected back at him, bright and blinding like the sun in a mirror. He had to look away again, undeserving of such kindness and devotion, especially from someone who he’d only known in high school and later ran away from. 

Ana was his rock right now; he would drown if he pushed away from her. 

“Thank you,” he finally choked out.

She smiled softly and patted the back of his hand. “I think you will find that love often hides within other strong emotions... but it comes out eventually. If you nurture it.”

“You think—” Jack’s heart hitched with his breath.

“I  _ think _ ,” said Ana, drawing her hand away as the waitress returned with their meals, “that we should eat.”

Jack could agree with that.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack gets tricked into getting locked in a room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to my beta Airafleeza
> 
> Tumblr: [ohgodsalazarwhy](https://ohgodsalazarwhy.tumblr.com/)  
> Twitter:[ NoviceSalazar](https://twitter.com/NoviceSalazar)

If it wasn’t for Ana, Jack would have tossed the card in the trash. Instead, he reluctantly dialed the number, sitting on his bedroll while his father slept in the living room. The last thing he wanted was John overhearing him asking for an appointment with a therapist. With his bedroom door shut and John asleep, it seemed unlikely that would happen but Jack still felt as if eyes were watching him from every corner of the room as the line rang. 

“Hello, you’ve reached the office of Tekhartha Zenyatta. Are you a new or returning patient?”

The voice on the other side of the line was deep and accented. Something familiar tickled in the back of Jack’s head.

“Uh... new patient. I... I was recommended by Ana Amari? My name is Jack Morrison.” He picked at the hem of his jeans, slouching forward as he held the phone against his ear. It was probably too late to hang up now that he’d given out his name.

There was a weirdly long pause, but before Jack could check to see if the call was still connected, the guy spoke. “He has time Thursday at noon. Will that work? You’ll need to come in early to fill out paperwork.”

“Does he have any time on Friday?”

“Yes, an early morning appointment at 8 A.M.”

Jack let out a breath. “...yeah, that’ll work.”

“Very good, I’ll need your information to book you.”

Jack gave the guy his phone number, address, and insurance information before hanging up. He collapsed back onto the bedroll with a low groan. Being a better person was exhausting. Wouldn’t it be easier and faster to just...not do that? Jack lay on the floor for a bit then forced himself back up to start dinner while John was still asleep; life didn’t stop simply because he wanted it to.

In the middle of getting the tomato soup to heat up, Jack’s phone buzzed.

  
  
**Jesse McCree 4:30PM**

_ We shuld hang out 2nite _

There was something about Jesse he liked, and he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He wasn’t like Ana, challenging him at every turn, boxing him in with his own miserable feelings while sipping on a cup of tea. It was nice to have someone around who he had no shitty history with. Jesse was like a blank slate, a fresh start. Even if it was all pretend, Jack could be a person who wasn’t weighed down by baggage.

**Jack Morrison 4:31PM**

_ Can’t, I have to keep an eye on my father _

**Jesse McCree 4:31PM**

_ :( _

**Jack Morrison 4:32PM**

_ I am free Friday, after 8am _

**Jesse McCree 4:34PM**

_ FINE. Meet at 12 at store?? _

Jack could imagine that even nine in the morning was a little early for Jesse, who seemed the type to sleep all day if given the opportunity. That was what Jack had been like as a kid, though by the time he’d been Jesse’s age he’d been in the Marines for a few years and thoroughly trained out of that.

**Jack Morrison 4:34PM**

_ Sounds good. _

A moment later, he added:

**Jack Morrison 4:36PM**

_ No drinking _

**Jesse McCree 4:36PM**

_ We’ll see about that _

Jack smiled despite himself, letting out a little huff of amusement at Jesse’s apparent confidence in getting him drunk again. 

He didn’t leave the house again until Ana helped get his car from the quarry on Thursday. Jack didn’t want to keep driving his father’s old stick shift truck, which lurched whenever he shifted gears. The transmission was probably going out and the last thing he needed was to be stranded. He led the way in the old truck while she drove his car home, teasing him about being too old for drinking at Rosewood until she left. 

When the nurse arrived early Friday, she quietly remarked that John did seem to be on the decline. Otherwise, she thought Jack was doing a good job of keeping him clean, comfortable, and fed. He mentioned to her that John didn’t have much of an appetite regardless of what Jack cooked for him before driving off. On the way to his appointment, he mused over the fact that John could be dead before he got home or in several more months. Death was never on anyone’s schedule. 

Zenyatta’s office was in a little strip mall, which didn’t give Jack high hopes, but if  _ Ana _ had recommended him then surely he must be good. He walked into the building only to find there was no one at the front desk.

“Hello?” he called out, moving up to the desk and trying to lean over it to see into the hallway behind it. Maybe this was a sign he shouldn’t be doing this, that it was a waste of his time. 

_ Too broken to fix, _ he thought to himself.

“Please, come in.” The voice that came out of the hallway was deep, calm, and lightly accented.

Jack paused then slipped around the desk to peek into the hallway to see a door open at the far end. Didn’t he need to fill out paperwork? Hand over his insurance? He walked over and looked inside to see a thin man with his back to Jack, watering a plant in the corner of the room. He was wearing loose pants and what could only be described as a robe, the sleeves of which were rolled up to his elbows. 

“Hello?” Jack asked hesitantly.

“Greetings.” The man set his watering pail down and turned to finally face Jack. He had a narrow face and high cheekbones, his deep brown eyes seemingly sleepy and almost closed. He was shaved bald, and with the robe and the lack of hair, Jack thought he looked like a monk. “Please, take a seat. I’m Tekhartha Zenyatta. You must be Jack Morrison.”

“Yeah.” Jack shut the door behind him as he stepped into the room, deciding to sit on the couch instead of a chair. Zenyatta sat down as well and folded his long fingers in his lap. “You know Ana Amari?”

Zenyatta smiled gently. “Oh yes. We are good friends. She is an inspiring person.”

Jack sat stiffly on the couch, glancing around the room as he agreed. It was cozy enough, he supposed, with plenty of plants and a little sand garden on a side table by the couch. A rake sat beside the garden as if asking for someone to drag it through the sand. Jack’s hand twitched a little.

“You’re nervous.”

Jack looked away from the sand garden, expecting to see Zenyatta staring at him. He was instead frowning at a small brown spot on one of the leaves of a nearby plant. Jack cleared his throat and looked back at the sand garden, not wanting to look Zenyatta in the eye here. He’d stared down death but this skinny man had him averting his gaze. “Never done this before.”

“How wonderful to be with you as you try a new experience.” From anyone else, Jack would assume that was sarcasm, but Zenyatta had the rare ability to sound perfectly genuine while saying the ridiculous.

Jack sat and waited for the questions— _ can you _ t _ ell me about your childhood, why do you think you’re here— _ but Zenyatta just smiled mildly and went back to examining the leaves of his nearby plant while the silence weighed Jack down until it felt like it was smothering him.

“Aren’t you going to ask me something?” he blurted out after it got too much for him.

“What would you like me to ask you?”

Jack’s brow furrowed incredulously. “Shouldn’t you be the one to know?”

“ _ Should _ I know you better than you?”

Jack was baffled. Is this what all therapy was like? It seemed like such a tremendous waste of time. “ _ No _ , but... I mean... you’re the professional, so—”

“Oh, I am!” Zenyatta replied cheerfully; it was a little annoying. 

Jack growled and dragged his hands over his face. “Just tell me what you want me to do!” As soon as it left his lips he froze.  _ Tell me what you want me to do _ . That was his whole goddamn life, wasn’t it? He’d done everything his father had told him as a kid and ran away at the threat of making his own choice, only to end up in the military where he’d never had to think for himself. 

“Oh my god,” he whispered, sitting back heavily and staring down at his hands. He’d wanted Ana to tell him what to do about Gabriel, he’d sort of wanted Ana to tell him what to do with his life in general.

_ Fuck _ .

Jack twisted to get comfortable on the couch, picking up the little rake to start brushing it through the sand, creating chaotic patterns. “I think I have a problem with making my own decisions.”

Zenyatta sat back in his chair, folding one leg over the other and interlocking his fingers together in his lap. “Oh? Would you like to talk about that?”

“Yeah I... I think I would,” said Jack quietly, eyes on the sand garden.

He walked out of the office about an hour later feeling weirdly off-kilter as he made his way to his car. Jack thought he might have felt better about this once it was done, but it was like they’d stopped halfway through pulling his guts out, and now he had to walk around with all his outsides on display. It felt like anyone looking at him could  _ see _ the work they’d started was woefully unfinished. He’d already made another appointment for next Friday.

Jack had three hours to kill before meeting Jesse so he drove to Bastet to get breakfast and idly scrolled through his phone. He tried to distract himself but couldn’t stop replaying everything he’d said in his appointment today, wondering if his words were the right thing to say, if he had any right to complain, if his problems were all in his head. Jack sighed and rubbed his fingers against his temple like he could push the thoughts out of his head. He didn’t want to spend all day thinking about this stupid appointment. It was over; done. He could think about it more next Friday.

His waitress didn’t seem to mind as he hung out and ordered multiple black coffee, and he tipped her well in thanks. When he did finally take off to go meet with Jesse, to his surprise Jesse wasn’t alone. On either side of him were the green-haired boy, Genji, and the girl with purple hair, Sombra.

Jack parked across the street from the corner store and Sombra wiggled her fingers at him as he stepped out of his car. 

“Look: tall, blond and handsome finally arrived,” she said.

“Jack!” Jesse grinned and waved him over. “C’mon, we got jus’ the plan for today. You’re gonna love it.”

“ _ Am _ I?” he asked, reluctantly following as they set off down the sidewalk. “What are we doing?”

Jesse winked, which only made Jack more apprehensive. “It’s a surprise.”

“No drinking.”

“Ain’t gonna be any drinkin’,” said Jesse smugly. Jack wanted to grab him and give him a shake, rattle all that smugness right out of his body.

“Relax,” Sombra drawled, wrapping her arm around Jack’s and smirking up at him. “We didn’t plan anything you couldn’t keep up with, old man.”

“ _ Old man _ ?” Jack pulled his arm away from Sombra’s grip. “Did I come here just to get bullied by a bunch of children?”

“I reckon you ain’t gonna be spending a ton of time with  _ us _ ,” said Jesse cryptically. He led them past what was clearly a closed nightclub and down an alley to the back of the building. Jesse knocked on the metal door and waited, rolling from heel to toe with a mischievous grin on his face.

The door opened a crack, a dark brown eye peeking out before it opened all the way. A slim Asian man stood at the door, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows to reveal a dragon tattoo on his left arm. His hair was pulled back into a messy bun, some hair escaping to fall over his pinched face. Whether he was irritated or stressed, Jack couldn’t quite tell.

“It’s you two,” he said at Jesse and Sombra. He looked at Genji next. “Brother.”

“Hanzo.”

Hanzo finally turned his hard gaze on Jack. “Who are you?”

“Jack Morrison.” Jack held out his hand for a shake. “I’m, uh, new in town.”

Hanzo gave him a firm handshake then stepped back to let them in. “No one loiters. If you’re here you are going to do some work.”

Of all the things Jack had pictured them getting up to, working in a nightclub before it opened was not one of them.  _ Why _ were they here? Jack wasn’t going to complain regardless; it was either this or wander aimlessly in an attempt to avoid going home.

“Can you fix things?” Genji asked, coming up beside Jack.

Jack eyed Genji, there was something familiar about his voice. He’d only heard it a couple times, right? So why was something about it nagging him? “Kind of depends on what it is, I guess.”

Genji grabbed him by the arm and they peeled away from the group. Jack figured he might as well let what was going to happen happen. 

“This way.” Genji led him behind the stage where Jack could see a set up for a DJ and a small back room where some speakers were set up. “We can’t seem to get these to play stereo. Can you take a look?”

Jack sat down beside one of the big speakers, looking over the wires for any signs of a split or shortage. “I think so. Do you guys have tools?” 

Genji set down a toolbox filled with everything Jack would need to repair a split wire and left.

There didn’t seem to be anything wrong with the speakers. The wires all looked healthy, no signs of damage from the outside. He pulled out some splitters and cut the plastic cover off the wires, but nothing seemed disconnected or frayed. 

He heard the door open and shut. Jack, unable to see over the speakers, called out, “Genji? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with these.”

“What the  _ fuck _ are you doing here?”

Jack, hunched over the wires, froze. This couldn’t be happening. 

Standing up, he came face-to-face with Gabriel, who was dressed comfortably in a pair of sweats and a hoodie, beanie pulled down over his head and looking furious. At least Jack wasn’t drunk this time. Small blessings? 

“I was fixing... or...” Jack looked down at his feet and then back up at Gabriel. “I think I was tricked into trying to fix something that wasn’t broken.”

“Genji! Jesse!” Gabriel turned on his heel and tried to open the door but it just rattled. 

“It’s seven minutes in heaven!” came Sombra’s voice from the other side.

“SOMBRA!” he roared, yanking the door so hard that Jack was surprised it wasn’t torn off its hinges.

Jack felt weirdly calm as he watched Gabriel swear and kick the door. Either they were about to fight or they wouldn’t, and Jack would not let himself get beat to death. Still, Gabriel looked handsome even while threatening to tear everyone a new asshole if they didn’t let him out of this room right now. Strangely enough, it reminded Jack of better times.

“I don’t think they’re going to let us out,” said Jack after a moment.

Gabriel turned on him, lips curled into a snarl. “Oh, you  _ think _ ? You put them up to this, Morrison?”

Jack indicated the stripped wires at his feet. “I was tricked too. I had no idea you were going to be here.”

“ _ What _ did you do to my speakers!?”

Jack sat back down and started wrapping electrical tape around the exposed wire. “Nothing. Well... I stripped them, but I never got around to cutting them up so consider yourself lucky.” Gabriel’s speakers, huh? “So... is this where you work?”

“What gave it away?” Gabriel asked snidely.

“I guess I’m just intuitive like that,” Jack quipped back.

Gabriel let out a small huff, but it was hard to tell if it was an aborted laugh or a sound of irritation. Jack finished wrapping up the wire and stood up, dropping the tape back into the toolbox with a small clatter. He wondered what Jesse and his friends’ thought process was here; it wasn’t like things could be solved just by locking them in together. 

Still, this was probably his only chance to get a word in without Gabriel running. He was willing to take the risk Gabriel might just punch him in the mouth.

“I wanted to apologize for the last time you saw me,” said Jack, running his finger over one of the speakers and not looking at him. “I, uh... I know I drank too much. Made an idiot of myself.”

“Some things never change, I guess,” Gabriel muttered.

Jack cracked a small smile, heart fluttering hopefully. “You remember that party Ana threw?”

“Shut up.”

He grinned. “You challenged me to a drinking contest.”

“I’m mad at you. Go to hell.” Gabriel turned so his back was to Jack, hands stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie, but Jack got the smallest flash of a smile.

“We both got wasted,” he continued, using the speakers as a small barrier in case Gabriel lunged at him, “and we were convinced we could jump off the roof onto her trampoline.”

“Oh my god,” Gabriel groaned. Whether it was at the memory or because Jack was still talking was up for debate.

“So we climbed onto the roof and—”

“—and Ana sprayed us in the face with the hose and we rolled off the roof and crushed a rhododendron. Her dad never forgave us for that.” Gabriel snorted and turned around, hands still in his pockets. His shoulders were tense, but at least there was some kind of humor playing in his eyes instead of pure hatred. 

Jack laughed, leaning forward on the speaker. “You think that’s why Ana never hosted another party?”

Gabriel shook his head and threw his hands up in exasperation. “Dammit, Jack... what are you doing?”

“I’m taking care of—”

“I don’t mean why you’re back in town, I mean  _ why _ are you trying so fucking hard to talk to me again when you didn’t write me  _ once _ after leaving?”

Jack glanced down at the speaker, playing with one of the knobs and turning it around idly. “I’m a fucking coward,” he said quietly. “I don’t have a better excuse for you. I wish I did. I wish I had a reason for hurting you, hurting Ana... but I don’t have that either. I’ve been a coward my whole goddamn life.” He sighed and straightened up, forcing himself to look Gabriel in the eye like he deserved. “I don’t want to be a coward anymore. I’m not saying I deserve your forgiveness but I want it.” Jack ran his fingers through his hair and down the back of his neck, voice hitching a bit when he continued. “I  _ never _ forgot you, Gabe. You’ve occupied such a huge place in my life without even being around. It’s so strange to think we’ve been apart longer than we’ve been friends.”

“You’re remembering someone who doesn’t exist anymore... and I don’t know whoever the hell you are,” Gabriel replied gruffly, his hands were stuffed deep into his pockets, shoulders hunched defensively.

“You’re right,” Jack said in earnest, stepping around the speaker. “I spent too long expecting things to stay the same, but that isn’t fair to any of you.”

“So what the hell do you  _ want _ , Jack?” Gabriel took a step back when Jack took a step forward. “For me to accept your apology? Fuck you.”

“No. I mean... maybe someday... but for right now can we just... try to get to know each other?” Jack asked hopefully. He held out his hand to Gabriel and waited, heart beating hard in his chest.

Gabriel stared at his hand and then up at him, brow furrowing. “What if you hate who I am now? What if I  _ hate _ you?”

“Sort of feels like you already hate me.” Jack licked his dry lips, fingers shaking a little with nerves as he kept his hand up. “So I don’t think I have much to lose.” He held his hand out a little further. Hoping. Daring. Taking a risk. “Hi, I’m Jack Morrison.” 

Gabriel blinked and then let out a short bark of laughter, reaching up to rub his temple. “Put your fucking hand down, Morrison. Jesus. You haven’t changed as much as you probably hoped you had. Golden boy piece of shit.”

Jack let his hand fall, feeling his heart drop with it. “Ah... well...” he swallowed a lump in his throat. “I won’t bother you any—”

“ _ Christ _ .” Gabriel rolled his eyes. “I didn’t say  _ no _ .”

Jack’s heart leapt back up into his throat, the constant back and forth of his emotions making him a little nauseous. “So—”

“So...” Gabriel ran his hand over his facial hair. “I’ll give you my number. And you can text me.  _ Maybe _ I’ll ask you to have lunch sometime...  _ if _ I don’t change my mind.”

Jack let out a small laugh that sounded more like he’d just been punched in the gut. “Right. Okay.” He pulled out his phone and unlocked it, wondering if this was some kind of crazy dream. Jack had to assume if he was dreaming his fingers wouldn’t be shaking so much. “What’s your number?”

Jack didn’t miss that Gabriel put him under his contacts as  _ That Asshole _ but he wasn’t sure if he cared. This had to count as some kind of progress. 

Jack tucked his phone away after. “I guess I should get out of your hair.” He wanted to reach out and touch Gabriel, even just to put his hand on his arm, but Jack did nothing. This was at Gabriel’s pace, not his.

Gabriel shrugged, moving around Jack to get to his speakers. “You can stay if you want. Listen to a few songs. I’d say you could dance but I’ve seen you dance and maybe it’s for the best if you  _ don’t _ . I don’t really give a fuck what you do.”

The door lock clicked and Jack gave Gabriel a wry smile. “I guess someone decided we can leave.”

“Then get the fuck out of here and give me some goddamn space,” said Gabriel, crouching down and looking at the wire Jack had wrapped up, his look one of slight consternation.

Jack tried not to let Gabriel’s abrupt dismissal hurt, he felt like he deserved it. So he didn’t push his luck and slipped out, seeing Sombra, Jesse and Genji all hovering around with expectant looks on their faces. He shut the door behind him before demanding, “What?”

“You don’t look like you got a black eye.” Jesse grinned, giving Jack twin thumbs up.

“So...it went good, right?” 

Jack brushed past them all and made his way out of the backstage area to the main part of the club. “Don’t pretend like you weren’t eavesdropping.” 

“Excuse, you, partner!” Jesse gasped as he followed him. “I didn’t eavesdrop, I would never!” He was silent for a beat then said, “Sombra eavesdropped an’ she’ll tell me everythin’ anyway.

“Then hear it from her.” Jack moved to the bar where Hanzo was cleaning glasses and sat down on a stool. According to Jack’s phone, it was just past one and this place didn’t open until nine. “Tell you what, Jesse. You and your friends did me a solid. Even if you risked me getting my head cracked open like an egg. How about I take you all out to dinner? Then we can come back when this place opens.”

“If I let any of you back in,” Hanzo muttered under his breath.

Hanzo did, in fact, let them all back in before nine. The place already had a line of bored Bloomington youth they got to bypass by slipping in the backdoor again. Jack took a seat at the bar where he was able to see Gabriel behind the DJ station already starting the music up in preparation for the front doors opening. Hanzo was barking orders to a few people while last-minute things were put in place. He walked over to Genji, paused, and then moved on to someone else. Jack hadn’t noticed it earlier, but they seemed a bit stiff around each other. He wondered why that was while watching Genji pull Sombra onto the dance floor as the doors opened and the bouncer started to let people in.    
  
Jesse slid onto the stool beside Jack. “Not a bad day, huh?”

Jack’s eyes moved from Genji and Sombra back to Gabriel, who was bobbing his head along to the strong beat of the music. Working as a DJ in a nightclub was the last job he would have imagined him in. He’d had such dreams about writing songs and hearing them played on the radio. They used to talk about how Jack would go on tour just to keep him company. Did his leaving send Gabriel into a tailspin that dropped him here?

Regardless, Gabriel seemed to be good at his job. The kids all looked like they were having fun, anyway. 

Jesse elbowed Jack and he grunted, tearing his eyes away. “What?”

“I said, ain’t a bad day, huh?”

“Oh...” He reached up and put his hand on the top of Jesse’s big cowboy hat. “No. It’s been a pretty good day, Jesse.” He grinned and pushed Jesse’s hat down over his eyes. “Thanks.”

“Gah!” Jesse shoved him back and hopped off his stool. “See if I ever do you a favor again, partner!”

Jack enjoyed a few sets of songs, eyes always drawn to Gabriel. Gabriel never looked back at him, focused completely on his work, but  _ damn _ he looked good. Jack  _ wanted _ to get to know him again, he wanted to be  _ known _ . But before that could happen he knew he had to work on becoming someone worth knowing.

Jack said goodbye to Jesse, Genji, and Sombra before heading out and walking to his car, the silence ringing when he left the club. He got home and found a note left by the nurse telling him it was an uneventful day, that his father had eaten a little but was having a hard time swallowing so he should probably be moved exclusively to soft foods and soups. Jack checked in on him and saw he was sleeping soundly in his room. Small, shriveled… dying.

Jack went to bed, and for the first time in what felt like forever, tomorrow didn’t feel like a burden.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack fails to fix the internet by turning it off and then on again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to my beta Airafleeza
> 
> Tumblr: [ohgodsalazarwhy](https://ohgodsalazarwhy.tumblr.com/)  
> Twitter:[ NoviceSalazar](https://twitter.com/NoviceSalazar)
> 
> I made a playlist for this fic, you can listen on Spotify [HERE](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/64AfmG6cspGc7e8iHGJSJF?si=llXwvaOVS-2RAHwXFmRKsQ)

The next day, Jack supported his father through a shower, once again tuning out how humiliating this was for both of them. He wasn’t even sure why his father preferred  _ him _ doing this instead of a nurse. Eventually, Jack got his father set up in his chair, basically having to carry him there because he was no longer strong enough to walk on his own.

“What in God’s name do you do when you leave on Fridays?” John grumbled as he shifted to get comfortable in his chair.

“Nothing exciting,” said Jack, turning the TV on for him and setting the remote down on the arm of his chair. “I’m going to go make breakfast. Any requests?”

“Yeah, bring home a nice woman before I die!”

“I’ll make scrambled eggs.”

Jack made some soft, fluffy scrambled eggs and sat by John’s chair to painstakingly feed him bite by bite. He couldn’t even eat all of it and Jack wasn’t hungry so most of them ended up in the trash. He went out to work on the yard instead of staying inside; Jack needed the exercise anyway. His routine had fallen to the wayside with everything else happening. He ran a few laps around the big backyard then found an old pair of leather gloves to start tearing up weeds and brambles, trying to make the property look liveable again. The house was a dump but the land had potential. Jack could just picture tilling up all this dead grass and turning it into a big garden. He’d plant corn and pumpkins and tomatoes. He’d plant enough to share with Ana and Gabriel, with Jesse, Genji, and Sombra.

Jack froze while pulling up some blackberry brambles. What was he thinking? Staying here after his father died? Making a life in Bloomington? 

Why not? 

Jack sat back on his haunches and wiped some sweat from his brow, smearing a little dirt over his skin in the process.  _ One _ good day didn’t mean he’d have more. It didn’t mean this place wouldn’t crush him again. Gabriel had given Jack his number but that didn’t mean he would welcome him back with open arms.

Jack sat in the dirt, yanking his leather gloves off before pulling out his phone. He brought up Gabriel’s number, hesitating as his thumb hovered. Was this even a good idea? Maybe he should ask Ana what she thought first. Godammit, he was such a fucking coward. He couldn’t wait for other people to act first, he needed to take the first step and show he was serious about this. 

**Jack Morrison 9:15AM**

_ I had a good time last night, you played a good set _

A bird trilled as the wind rustled the leaves of a nearby tree. Nothing. Jack sighed and tucked his phone away. What the hell was he thinking? Gabriel didn’t want to talk to him; he probably just exchanged numbers so he knew what to block. 

Once John died, he’d get out of Bloomington. He’d thank Ana and Jesse for their friendship then disappear. He didn’t belong here around these people. 

_ You’re trying to run when things get hard. Again. _

“Shut up. Shut  _ up _ ,” Jack muttered under his breath. Maybe he needed to find something else to do for a bit.

He came back inside and washed the dirt from his hands and face, briefly getting distracted by what looked like new wrinkles at the corners of his lips. God, he was getting old. Jack dried himself off and found his tablet, throwing himself down on the couch and with a pair of headphones.

Jack quickly pulled his headphones out to stare at John when his video refused to load. “Why isn’t the internet working?”

John waved a shaky, dismissive hand. “How should I know? That newfangled stuff—that’s for young people like you.”

He swore, rolled off the couch, and went into John’s room to stare down at the modem and router. When turning it on and off didn’t fix it, he was out of ideas.

He sat down on the edge of John’s hospital bed and pulled out his phone to text the youngest person he knew.

**Jack Morrison 9:47AM**

_ Do you know how to fix a broken internet? _

**Jesse McCree 9:47AM**

_ whats wrong with it _

**Jack Morrison 9:48AM**

_ I don’t know. It won’t turn on _

**Jesse McCree 9:50AM**

_ Its so early... Sombra aint gonna be awake but ill ask her _

**Jack Morrison 9:50AM**

_ Is she good at internet problems? _

**Jesse McCree 9:51AM**

_ shes real good at electronics hacking shit _

**Jack Morrison 9:51AM**

_ Okay, can you guys come over asap? _

**Jesse McCree 9:52AM**

_ whenever she wakes up sure _

Jack sent Jesse his address and put his phone away, immediately starting to clean. It wasn’t that the house was dirty—the house was probably the cleanest it had ever been—but Jack was still a little ashamed of how yellow the walls were, how the stink of neglect and the sickening scent of death could never fully be washed away.

What the hell was he doing? Trying to impress a couple of kids? Potential friends? His phone buzzed with a text from Jesse saying they were on their way while he vacuumed the perpetually filthy carpet. Jack took a deep breath to brace himself then turned the vacuum off and put it away. Time to tell his father. 

“Father?”

Jack stepped into the living room, surprised John was still awake watching TV. He gave Jack a narrow look. “What?”

“I’m having some... friends over. To fix the internet.”

“Who says I want visitors?”

Jack felt himself want to fold, to bow his head and apologize for suggesting it. He resisted the urge and felt like a man trembling under a massive weight. If he gave in, it would crush and kill him. 

He took a deep breath. “I’m not asking, father. I’m telling you as a courtesy. I expect you to be polite, and they will be polite in return. They’re just here to help fix the internet.”

“I beg your pardon, boy?” John said coldly. He tried and failed to sit up in his chair.

Boy.  _ Boy _ . Like he was still a child that could be slapped around and screamed at. Wasn’t he, though? Wasn't he cringing internally like some child afraid of being yelled at? 

Jack struggled against his feelings of anger and shame as they swirled inside him, hands curling into fists at his side. “This isn’t up for discussion,” he said through grit teeth. “They’ll be here soon.”

John opened his mouth to argue but Jack didn’t give him a chance, turning on his heel and heading out the front door to take several deep breaths. He was over forty years old. Was that the first time he’d  _ ever _ actually stood up to his father? As small and inconsequential as it was, it wasn’t like Jack had worked up the courage to come out to him, or, God forbid, bring up the years of abuse.

He was just getting his emotions back under control when he heard the engine of a motorcycle come roaring down the road. He watched Jesse drive in on a big beautiful Indian Scout motorcycle with Sombra perched on the back. Jack whistled as he came over, checking out the bike as Jesse and Sombra slid off it. 

“You take better of this thing than you do yourself,” Jack teased, running his fingers along the well-polished gas tank, which was painted a rich red.

“Well, she’s been with me a long time,” said Jesse proudly, pulling off his helmet and then digging into the saddlebag for his hat. He promptly jammed it onto his head to hide his helmet hair.

Sombra pulled her helmet off and combed her fingers through her hair, getting it back under control with an exasperated sigh. “It wouldn’t kill you to get a car, Jesse.” 

“Well, I reckon you coulda driven yourself if you hadn’t gotten your license revoked,” Jesse drawled.

“Go to hell.”

Jack hid a laugh as a cough into his fist while Jesse glared at her. “See if I take you anywhere again!”

“Okay, okay,” Jack said before they could start butting heads. “Sombra, Jesse said you could fix my internet?”

Sombra smirked, giving her hair a little flip. “Oh, I can do a lot more than that, blondie, but if all you want is  _ internet, _ I can handle that with my eyes closed.”

“Tell you what—I’ll let you work with your eyes open for today.” Jack led them into the house, Jesse laughing and Sombra scoffing and rolling her eyes. John’s hateful glare was on them as soon as they walked inside and Jack hoped to God he could get Sombra and Jesse past him without John saying anything horrible.

“Who the hell are these two?”

“This is Jesse and Sombra,” said Jack stiffly, still trying to usher them down the hall even as he spoke.

“What the hell is she wearing? Is she some kind of whore?”

Before Jack could even get over his shock Sombra was flipping him twin birds. “Go fuck yourself, you old pile of shit!” She sauntered further down the hall and out of view while Jack was trying to figure out what to do about it. He was mortified about what his father said and uncomfortable with the way Sombra had responded. John was sputtering in outrage, so mad he couldn’t seem to form a sentence. 

“Bring him some water,” Jack muttered to Jesse before following Sombra into the bedroom, the only open door to the left down the hall.

He found her sitting by the modem and router with her tablet hooked up to the modem. Jack hadn’t taken much notice of what she was wearing until now, fishnets under shorts and a crop top, nothing that justified the bile. Not that Jack thought that sort of language was ever justified, even if Sombra had come waltzing into the house in something outrageous. Jack kneeled down beside her, picking almost compulsively at the outer seam on his jeans. “Sorry. He shouldn’t have said that, but I don’t think that response was—”

Sombra shushed him. “Oh? And what response  _ should _ I have given, blondie?”

“I don’t know.” Jack squirmed uncomfortably. “He’s old and sick and... a monster— _ but _ we should have  _ some _ respect for our elders and—”

She laughed right in his face. “Respect? Why? I don’t know him!”

“Well, there are some people that just deserve respect,” Jack answered, though it felt like he was talking more to himself than her. “Our elders, our superiors.”

“Bullshit.” Sombra sniffed, her long acrylic nails tapping on the screen of her tablet. “ _ Nobody _ deserves respect. Respect is  _ earned _ . I don’t care if you’re ninety-nine years old or King of the World. If you don’t earn my respect you don’t  _ get _ respect!”

That was so contrary to Jack’s entire view of the world that he didn’t even know to respond to it. He was quiet a moment, fingers running over one of the seams at the outer thigh of his jeans. “Okay... well... I am sorry. For what he said.”

Sombra waved his apology off like it was a moth flying in her face. “You didn’t say it, blondie.”

That didn’t mean he didn’t feel responsible for it, but Jack decided he didn’t want that thrown back in his face, too. “Jesse should have joined us by now.” He left the room and did indeed find Jesse trapped by his father, one gnarled hand closed around Jesse’s wrist as John wheezed about fire and brimstone.

Jesse easily could have pulled away, but he looked terrified. Jack came up and pried John’s hand off. “I need his help now,” he lied, pushing Jesse out of the living room.

“Thanks, partner,” Jesse breathed as they turned the corner into the bedroom. “He grabbed me when I set down th’ water.”

Jack ran his fingers through his hair, letting out a long exhale. “Sorry about that.”

“Oh my god, stop apologizing!” Sombra snapped.

“I’m s—” Jack caught himself and then shook his head with a huff. “Fine. What in god's name are you  _ doing _ , Sombra?”

Sombra winked at him with a sly smile, “Your internet went down because the bill hadn’t been paid, so I’m just bypassing the provider altogether. Now you’ll always have free internet!”

“What?” Jack hadn’t considered his father's financial affairs at all. “You could have just  _ told _ me and I would have paid the bill.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Sombra tapped away at her tablet and then finally shut it down. “Okay, check your connection, blondie.”

Jack pulled out his phone. Sure enough, he was getting Wi-Fi again. “Am I going to get arrested for this?”

“You’re such a stick in the mud.” Sombra bounced up onto her feet and brushed off her shorts and fishnets. “Where’s my ‘thank you Sombra’ or ‘you’re a genius, Sombra’?”

“Okay, okay,” Jack laughed. “Thank you, Sombra. You’re a genius, Sombra.”

“That’s better,” she grinned.

Jack guided them out of the bedroom. To his relief, John had fallen asleep. “As thanks I could make you both something to eat,” he offered. “Any requests?”

“Waffles.” Her tone made it clear that no one else was going to have a say. 

Well, she  _ was _ the one who had fixed his internet. Jesse didn’t seem to mind. He leaned against the counter while Jack pulled out eggs and milk.

“So, I was wonderin’... you think you could teach me some of them moves you used on me?” Jesse dug into Jack’s bag of walnuts and popped one into his mouth. 

Jack snatched the bag away and dropped a few into a grinder before dumping the little pieces into his batter. “I didn’t use many  _ moves _ on you. Just the one, I think.” Jack dug out the waffle iron and plugged it in, spraying it with cooking oil and closing it so it could heat up.

Jesse took the bag of walnuts back to snack on them. “You know what I mean! C’mon, that shit is cool! I wanna know how t’ do it!”

“Why?” Jack opened the waffle iron when the light clicked off and spooned in the batter before closing the iron to cook.

Jesse shrugged. “Who don’t wanna know how t’ do that?”

Jack sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. “Jesse, I... look, if I teach you, you have to  _ swear _ to me that you’re not going to use it on anyone, got it? I’ll teach you what I know and in return I don’t  _ ever _ want to catch you hassling people again.”

“Now that ain’t fair—”

“Jesse,” Jack said sharply, “that’s my condition. No more sitting outside a corner store in the middle of the day bullying people for their Coke.”

Sombra snorted from the dining room where she was on her phone.

“I’m talking to you, too, Sombra!”

“You’re not my dad, blondie.”

“It ain’t that simple as all that,” Jesse grit out, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. “I can’t jus’  _ find a job and buy shit _ . An’ I ain’t hurtin’ nobody!”

“Jesse, the first time we met you  _ threatened _ me, unless you’ve conveniently forgotten the entire reason I used 'those moves'--” Jack made some sarcastic air quotes, “--on you in the first place. How is intimidating people not hurting them?”

“Hey! You don’t know my life or what I’ve done! These moves could save my life someday!”

“Save your life from  _ what _ ?” Jack pressed stubbornly.

Jesse grit his teeth and looked away, fingers curling and uncurling. “Not that it’s any of your business, but maybe it’d be nice to feel like... like parts of my past can’t overpower me no more.”

Jack opened his mouth to argue, not sure how learning to throw someone to ground would help him escape his past but shut it instead. People didn’t respond to preaching. He couldn’t tell Jesse what to do or judge him. Jack looked at where he was, the things  _ he’d _ done. He was no saint. Using and leaving people his whole life, drinking too much. Jack may have used Jesse if they’d met under different circumstances, so what right did he have to lecture him like he had any leg to stand on? 

“Okay,” he said, turning back to the waffle iron. “I’ll teach you.”

“Wait, what?” Jesse sounded off-balance, like he’d expected Jack to keep fighting him. 

“If you’re serious about learning, I expect you over here every day for training,” said Jack as he opened the iron and pulled out the first waffles onto a plate which he pushed at Jesse. 

Jesse’s entire face lit up. He looked a bit goofy with that big grin on his face, but it was so sincerely happy that Jack had to look away like there was nothing more important than getting another waffle cooking. “You’ll teach me all that cool stuff?”

Jack snorted. “Yeah, sure. All that cool stuff. But you’ve got to be serious about it. It’s a lot of hard work. We’re not going to jump straight into it.”

“Can we start today?” Jesse was wolfing down his food and talking with his mouth full.

“If Sombra doesn’t mind.” Jack put the next waffles on another plate and brought it over to where she was sitting at the dining room table playing on her phone. 

“Oh no,” she said sarcastically, “how awful, I have to stay here and watch two men get sweaty and wrestle each other.”

Jack chose not to acknowledge that and just went back to cooking up the rest of the batter. Between the three of them, there weren’t any leftovers. Jack sent Jesse outside to start warming up with a few laps around the yard while he cleaned the kitchen. Sombra went out with one of the dining room chairs to sit out there and yell things at Jesse. This gave Jack the privacy he needed to help his father go to the bathroom while he grumbled sleepily. He got John settled and gave him some pain medication. Jack thoroughly washed his hands, changed into a pair of joggers and a compression shirt, and finally joined Jesse and Sombra outside.

“Straighten your back!” Sombra yelled at Jesse as he jogged past her. “Stick your ass out more!”

“Like this?” Jesse grinned and bent over with his back arched.

“No,  _ straighten _ your back!”

“I can’t do both!”

“Jesse, stop.” Jack crossed his arms over his chest as Jesse and Sombra looked over at him. He spared a glance at Jesse in his jeans and t-shirt. “You want to change? I’ve got some shorts and a t-shirt that might fit you.”

“Who needs the shirt? It’s a nice day out,” said Sombra, smiling mischievously.

Jack led him back inside and had him wait in the hallway while he went into his bedroom to grab the shorts and shirt. He didn’t want Jesse to see all his worldly possessions and how he still slept on the floor. 

Once Jesse was changed and outside, Jack started with some basic stretches. Sombra just watched and played on her phone, sitting cross-legged on the wooden chair. Jack stretched his arms over his head and balanced on one leg. He glanced over at Sombra just in time to see her snap a picture as Jesse wobbled on one foot.

“You need to use your core,” Jack said, holding his position like he’d been sculpted there.

“How does this help me learn how t’ fight?” Jesse snapped, bringing his leg up and nearly falling over again.

Jesse was obviously strong, his scars telling Jack of a life hard lived; he probably held his own fine against untrained people. There was just no finesse there, no control. 

“You said you’d trust me.” Jack gracefully twisted to grab his ankle and stretch. Jesse tried to follow his lead but couldn’t balance long enough to grab his ankle. Jack dropped his stretch and moved over to grip Jesse’s shoulder, giving him support as he went back on one leg. “Use these muscles.” Jack touched Jesse’s stomach. “And these,” he said, touching his lower back. 

“This is stupid,” Jesse muttered.

“Just because you’re bad at it doesn’t mean it’s stupid,” Jack laughed.

“I trust you I jus’—” Jack gave him a small shove and Jesse stumbled back, arms swinging as he tried to catch his balance and not fall on his ass. “Hey!”

“Try to push me over,” Jack said, holding his arms out, daring Jesse to come at him. Sometimes a demonstration was the best way to teach someone.

Jesse darted forward and shoved him. Hard. He shifted his weight to keep from getting pushed over. Jesse shoved him again. Now that Jack had braced himself, he wasn’t budging at all. He gave Jesse a smirk then pushed him, sending him falling to his ass with a grunt.

“Now...” Jack went back up on one leg and raised his arms over his head, palms together. “Are you going to trust I know what I’m doing?” He raised his eyebrow pointedly.

“Yeah yeah... asshole.” There was no heat in Jesse’s voice; if anything, there was a new glint in his eyes as he worked on his balance beside Jack.

Once stretches were done Jack kept Jesse’s interest with a few basic forms for grappling with someone and not getting knocked over. He taught him—and then Sombra when she became interested—some control tactics using wrist locks that hurt like crazy.

“I don’t want to catch you using these on anyone,” Jack said sternly as Jesse and Sombra practiced on each other. “You could do real damage if you don't know what you're doing.”

“But you’ll give me more trainin’, ri—YOUCH!” Jesse yelped as Sombra twisted his wrist aggressively.

“Oops, sorry.” Sombra grinned and let him go, stepping back as Jesse hissed and rubbed at his wrist.

Jack shook his head; they really were just kids. Yet... having them here, in  _ this _ house, laughing and joking... it felt good. Right. This home had seen so little laughter. 

“If you show up, I’ll train you,” Jack promised seriously. “Even you, Sombra.”

“Psh.” Sombra waved her hand dismissively and went to sit back down in her chair. “Only if I have  _ nothing _ else going on, blondie.”

Jack came over and pat Jesse on the back. “You did really good today, Jesse. You’re a hard worker.”

Jack had to wonder how often Jesse had been praised in his life because he immediately puffed out his chest and grinned widely. “You really think so?”

“Wouldn’t say it if I didn’t.” He glanced up at the sky, the sun was beginning to set, the light slowly fading. “How about you get changed, it’s starting to get late.” Jack had to put his father to bed. 

It was bittersweet to send Jesse and Sombra away, waving as Jesse roared out on his motorcycle, Sombra’s arms wrapped tightly around his waist. They’d be back, though. Hopefully. 

Jack helped his father get to bed, checking his vitals as he lay in the hospital bed complaining sleepily about having loud hooligans around the house as if he hadn’t slept through basically the entire visit.

“Such a disappointment,” his father muttered, falling back asleep. “Where’d you go wrong...”

Jack opened his mouth then shut it with a snap, strangling down a sudden rush of fury. Where did  _ he _ go wrong? It was like his father thought he’d done nothing wrong in his entire life, that every slap and insult were perfectly justified responses to a child desperate for validation. If it weren’t for Gabriel and Ms. Reyes, who knew how he’d have turned out. Or if he’d have survived childhood at all.

“You—” Jack grit his teeth, hissing through them when he realized John was already asleep again. What was he going to do, argue with a dying man? Even if he was healthy, would Jack have the courage to confront him? 

He turned on his heel and stormed out, going straight into the backyard to run laps, trying to sweat out the fury. Jack ran hard, circling the big yard again and again until his lungs burned and his legs trembled. Where did  _ he _ go wrong? Jack was the first to admit he was a failure, a man with nothing to show, but he was  _ trying _ , goddammit. That had to count for something. It had to count for more than dying a bitter old man with no friends and a son that could barely stand him.

Jack's foot caught on a gopher hole and he crashed to the ground with a cry, wheezing for breath as he lay in the dry grass, unable to bring himself to stand up again. He’d done things in his life that other people would be proud of. He’d had a celebrated military career. Why did that feel like it had happened to another man?

As he was laying there panting, his phone started to buzz in his pocket. Jack fumbled it out and looked blearily at the screen. Ana was calling him. He swiped up and hit speakerphone before dropping the phone on the ground by his head.

“Hey, Ana,” he said, throwing his arm across his eyes as he rolled onto his back.

“Jack. How’d your appointment go?”

“That’s an awfully personal question, don’t you think?”

Ana huffed. “I’m not asking for all the details. I'm wondering if he helped you.”

“You’re so nosy,” Jack grumbled, bending one knee up. “ _ Yes _ , I think it was productive. I’m going back once a week.”

“Hm.” Jack could practically see her smug smirk in his mind's eye. “Good.”

“I... also saw Gabriel.”

“I know.”

“What? How?!” Jack removed his arm from his eyes and rolled onto one elbow to stare down at his phone.

“He told me.”

“What’d he say about me?” He was deeply aware of how juvenile the question was, but that didn’t stop him from asking it.

Ana laughed. “Jack, I don’t tell  _ him _ what  _ we _ talk about, so I’m not going to tell  _ you _ . You're both my friends. I won’t betray either of your trusts.”

Jack sighed and flopped onto his back. “Dammit, Ana... could you be a slightly worse friend now and again?”

“I’ll work on that,” she sounded amused. “Join me for breakfast tomorrow.”

“I can’t,” Jack said, letting his arm slide off his face so he could stare up at the stars that were starting to twinkle above him. “With the way my father is going... he can’t be left alone anymore.”

“Then I will come to you.”

He let out a short bark of laughter. “First Jesse and Sombra, then you? My father’ll have a conniption at that.”

“Oh, well, we wouldn’t want  _ that _ —”

“No, no... it’s good for him. You should come over.” Jack tapped his fingers over his chest, feeling weirdly good about inviting Ana over. It was long overdue. Doing something without informing or asking his father about it felt like a step in the right direction.

Ana’s laughter was soft across the line. “The Jack I used to know never would have said to come over. You’d always come up with excuses why Gabriel or I couldn’.”

“You wouldn’t have wanted to come over,” said Jack quietly. “Not sure you’d want to come over now, but you’re an adult. You can make your own choices.”

It was easier to tell himself that he stopped his friends from coming over to protect them and harder to acknowledge the twisting, shameful part of him that knew he didn’t want his choice in company to disappoint his father. It seemed so... stupid now. Jack was a disappointment regardless, as his father liked to remind him, and that was after a lifetime of trying  _ not _ to be.

“Ana... am I a bad person?” Jack asked after a moment.

“No, Jack,” she said warmly, without a hint of hesitation, “you are not a bad person. Why are you even asking such a thing?”

“I just can’t help but think that a good person would... would have challenged my father more.” Jack tracked the path of a plane flying overhead, so high it was little more than lights trailing through the stars. “I should have stood up to him instead of keeping my mouth shut. Even now he... he called Sombra a  _ whore _ when she came over and I talked to  _ her _ instead of him.”

“Jack, you were just a child back then—”

“But I’m not a child now!” Jack sat up, fingers ripping at the dry grass. “He can’t hurt me anymore! Why is it so  _ fucking _ hard?”

“Wounds we never treat never heal right,” Ana countered. “Jack, change doesn’t happen overnight. Give yourself permission to take some time.”

“I don’t  _ have _ time,” Jack snapped. “My father could die tonight, and then I’ll never get a chance to—”

“Stop revolving around your father, Jack!” Ana scolded, and it stung just as much over the phone as it did in person. “You’re not trying to change for  _ him _ . This is about  _ you _ , about  _ your _ future!”

“But if I don’t—”

“Jack.”

He let out a sound of frustration and fell back into the scratchy grass. “What’s the point,” he said bitterly.

“I don’t know,” Ana sighed. “You’ll have to figure that out for yourself.”

There was a moment of silence between them. Jack stared up into the sky, more and more stars appearing as the night fell around him. He didn’t want to go back inside where it never stopped smelling like cigarette smoke and all he had were bad memories. Well... he supposed it wasn’t all bad memories now. Today was pretty good. Maybe tomorrow would be good, too.

“I’ll see you tomorrow for breakfast, Jack. Make those flapjacks you used to make back in the day.” She left no room for argument, not that Jack wanted to argue anymore. He didn’t think Ana did either.

“With blueberries in them?”

“Of course.”

“Goodnight, Ana.”

"Goodnight, Jack."

Jack picked up his phone after she hung up and checked his messages. The one he’d sent to Gabriel had been read, but no reply. He sighed and set his phone down on his stomach. All he could do was keep moving forward.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack goes to get a haircut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to my beta Airafleeza
> 
> Tumblr: [ohgodsalazarwhy](https://ohgodsalazarwhy.tumblr.com/)  
> Twitter:[ NoviceSalazar](https://twitter.com/NoviceSalazar)

Jack woke up early that morning, ignoring his aching back as he got up off his sleeping mat. He went into the kitchen to start whipping up his flapjack batter so it’d be ready when Ana showed up—or maybe even Jesse if he was here early enough. 

From a young age, Jack had taken on the responsibility of preparing meals. His father never cooked, but Jack had always enjoyed cooking for others—something he attributed mostly to cooking with Ms. Reyes as a child. Ms. Reyes had always seemed so excited when he helped out, eager to teach him everything she knew because he was happy to learn.

Jack glanced out the kitchen window wistfully, hoping she was well. If Gabriel accepted him back into his life, Jack wanted to see her again. The woman had been a saint; any good habits Jack picked up as a kid came from her. 

When the batter was done, Jack checked on his father, finding him ready to get up for the day. The doorbell rang just as John was getting settled in his chair.

“Who is it this time?” John groused. “I need peace and quiet, dammit!”

Jack wanted to snap at him but swallowed it down. “I’m making flapjacks. You want some?”

“No, boy, make me some toast and eggs.  _ Flapjacks _ .” John sneered. “The way you flit about in the kitchen one would think I’d had a daughter.”

Jack narrowed his eyes but the doorbell rang again and he just chose to ignore the bile rising in his throat like always. He trotted to the front door and opened it to see Ana wearing a loosely wrapped headscarf that matched her blue dress. He stepped back to let her in. “Sorry, had to get father set up.”

Ana followed him into the kitchen, making a quiet observation along the way. “This place hasn’t changed much, has it?” 

“Who is that?” John wheezed angrily from the living room.

“It’s Ana Amari, an old friend,” Jack called. When Ana turned in the direction of the living room, he grabbed her wrist and gave her an imploring look not to go in there. Ana sighed and shrugged but came back to him. John couldn’t see into the kitchen and Jack didn’t want him saying any more rude things before falling back asleep. Jack whipped up soft scrambled eggs and toast and kneeled down by his father's chair to help him get at least  _ some _ of it down while Ana heated up the griddle. Feeding him was becoming a slower and more painful process. He might need to speak with Dr. Augustine soon about what to do when his father got too weak to swallow. 

By the time John refused to take another bite, he’d only eaten half the toast and eggs. Jack stood up and took the leftovers back into the kitchen where Ana was already spooning flapjack batter onto the griddle and sprinkling blueberries. He leaned back against the counter, placing the plate to the side. He could always warm the eggs up for lunch.

“I can take over,” he told Ana, smiling as she put her hands up and took a step back.

“By all means. After all,  _ you’re _ supposed to be treating  _ me _ .”

Jack laughed and got to flipping the flapjacks on the griddle. He served Ana the first batch, which she drizzled with a little honey and ate while Jack kept cooking.

“So, Fareeha is going to be on leave in a month.” Ana said between delicate bites of flapjack, “I was wondering if you’d like to meet her. You could come over and have dinner with us.”

Jack flipped some fresh flapjacks onto a plate then spooned out more batter. It was strange to think that when he first arrived he thought he’d stay just long enough to watch his father die, but now there were things here—things he didn’t want to let go of.

“I’d love to meet her.” 

Ana, as if sensing his thoughts, reached out and put a hand on his arm, giving it a small squeeze. “I’ve told her some stories, but I don’t think she believes I ever could have gotten into that much trouble, and she doesn’t believe anything Gabriel tells her... you’re our only source of credibility, Jack.”

A motorbike pulled into the driveway with a roar, cutting Jack off. Ana leaned over the counter to peer out the window curiously. “Is that Jesse McCree?”

“You know him?” Seemed  _ that _ hadn’t changed about Bloomington; no matter how big it had gotten, everyone was still in everyone else’s business.

“I’ve seen him around. Treated him a couple of times at the hospital for scrapes and bruises.” Ana added without looking at him, “I know he’s close to Gabriel.” There was something pointed about it, but perhaps not judgemental, like she was making a perfectly normal observation.

Jack thought it best not to respond to it. “Keep an eye on these,” he said, handing Ana his spatula so he could hurry to the front door and intercept Jesse before he knocked or rang the doorbell. The last thing he wanted was John waking up. He opened the door just as Jesse raised his fist.

Jesse dropped his hand and stepped inside. “Howdy.” 

“You hungry? I made flapjacks.”

“I ate before comin’...”

“...but...?” Jack prodded, catching the glint in Jesse’s eye.

Jesse gave him a roguish, crooked smile. “But I always got room for flapjacks.”

“I thought so.” Jack led him into the kitchen where Ana was stacking flapjacks on a nearby plate.

As soon as Jesse saw Ana he pulled his hat off his head and placed it against his chest. “Oh. Howdy, ma’am.”

Ana rolled her eyes with a small smile. “I don’t think I’m so old I need to be called ‘ma’am’ just yet, Jesse. What brings you over here?”

“Uh.” He slid his hat back onto his head. “Jack is teachin’ me how to fight.”

“If there’s one thing Jesse McCree needs to know, it’s how to fight,” Ana teased, sliding a plate of blueberry flapjacks in his direction.

“I ain’t plannin’ to use it on anyone, I swear.” Jesse coughed a little into his fist as he took them. “I didn’t know you two knew each other.”

An obvious attempt at changing the subject but Jack didn’t mind. “Ana and I are old childhood friends.”

“Well, he and Gabriel were already thick as thieves by the time they met me,” she added, eyes crinkling with humor, “but they invited me in and their duo became a trio.”

“We were good boys before we met you, Ana,” said Jack, as if he were scolding her, “and you corrupted us.”

She threw back her head and laughed. “Oh please! I hardly think it was  _ ever _ my idea. I always just went along with what you boys wanted to do.”

“That’s a dirty lie and you know it.”

“I reckon it’d be irresponsible not to believe a medical professional.” Jesse gave Ana a polite little hat tip.

“Spoken like a smart man.” Ana said primly.

Once everyone had eaten their fill, Jack wrapped up the leftovers and made sure the kitchen was sparkling before they all went out into the backyard. Ana took a seat in the chair Sombra had left out yesterday while Jack led Jesse through stretches again. He had to steady him a couple of times as he wobbled, but Jack thought Jesse had it in him to learn this. He was certainly trying hard enough.

“Alright, now we’re going to run some laps,” said Jack, clapping Jesse on the back. “Get warmed up before I run you through a few forms.”

Jack started to jog, something slow enough that Jesse could keep up with him without trying too hard. He was still pretty fast when he wanted to be, but this just a warm-up, not a race. 

“So,” he huffed as they jogged together around the edge of the big yard, “Sombra doesn’t want to run laps with us?”

Jesse snorted. “Naw, she probably ain’t even awake yet. She stays up until early mornin’ then sleeps past noon.”

“You two been friends long?”

“Sure, we met back when we were about... oh... sixteen or so. She was with me back when I was still in New Mexico. She, uh. Came along with me when I had to, uh, move.” 

Jack glanced over at Jesse and got the feeling that asking about his move would end their entire conversation. There was a story there, just not one Jesse was eager to tell. “What did her parents think about her moving across the country with you?”

Jesse was looking resolutely forward as he jogged. “Dunno, they’re dead.”

“Oh,” Jack fumbled a little for his words, completely caught off guard, “I’m sorry I didn’t—”

“Ain’t your fault, partner, you didn’t know. Happened a real long time ago now.” Jesse assured Jack with an easy tone. “Before I met her.”

Jack dropped it, not wanting to pry into Sombra’s personal history. At least, not without her permission. “You think Genji would be interested in coming over? He’s your friend too, right?”

Jesse perked up again as they moved off the heavy topics. “We met him when we first moved here. We used t’ be inseparable but he’s got a job now, works fer some therapist guy. Ain’t got time to hang out like he used to.”

Jack got an unpleasant jolt, stumbling a bit as he recalled booking his first appointment and hearing a  _ very _ familiar voice over the phone. His gut twisted at the thought of Genji knowing he was seeing Zenyatta, that there was something  _ wrong _ with him. What if Zenyatta told him some of the things Jack said?

“Jack?” Jesse was staring at him, panting lightly. He’d been quiet for too long.

“That bother you?” Jack blurted out, not wanting to talk about himself. 

_ Hypocrite. Coward. _

Jesse shrugged, eyes on the grass. “I... ah... I dunno. He seems a lot happier, I guess.”

Jack thought back to the quiet, severe young man he’d met and said, “... right.”

“I miss him somethin’ fierce...” Jesse trailed off then quickly heel turned and asked, “What about you?”

“What about me? How do  _ I _ feel about Genji?”

“Don’t be an idiot,” he said, elbowing Jack lightly. “I mean, what d’you think you want from Gabe?”

“Oh… his forgiveness.” Jack let out a breath. Maybe one more lap and they’d call it good. “Or as close as I can get to it.” 

“Oh?” Jesse asked, sounding sly. “That all you want?”

Jack wanted to sound high and mighty about it like he was above wanting more. Which was so stupid, of course, because he greedily wanted  _ everything _ Gabriel would give him. But to put that in words... it was too much. “That’s all I want.” 

“So you ain’t gonna mind when you meet his wife,” Jesse said blithely.

“His WHAT?!” Jack tripped over himself and crashed to the ground. Had Gabriel been wearing a ring? He hadn’t noticed—

Jesse stood over him, laughing his ass off, and Jack realized he’d been played. He sat up and shoved at his knees, sending Jesse stumbling back until he fell on his ass with a grunt.

“You shoulda seen th’ look on your face, partner!”

“Asshole... that’s not fucking funny,” Jack muttered, rubbing his hand over his sweaty face.

“I thought it was pretty funny,” Jesse chuckled.

Ana came over to stare down at them, hands clasped behind her back. “Everything okay over here, boys?” 

“Fine,” Jack groused, brushing some dirt and grass off his chest. “Just Jesse being a dick.”

“Oh, that’s alright, then.” Ana reached down and helped Jack get back on his feet before helping Jesse as well. “I think I might leave you boys to it from here and head out. I  _ did _ only come for flapjacks.”

“You didn’t come for my excellent company?” Jack splayed his fingers over his chest. “Ana, I’m hurt.”

“I will admit the company is getting  _ much _ better.” Ana pinched his chin and gave him a little shake. “But errands will not run themselves. I hope I don’t see either of you at work tomorrow.”

After she let herself out, Jesse punched him in the shoulder with a grin. “I think you want more ‘n forgiveness from Gabe!”

Jack grunted and slapped Jesse’s hand away from him. “Goddammit. It’s... it’s complicated.”

“C’mon, jus’ be honest with me,” said Jesse. “I ain’t gonna tell a soul. Not even Sombra or Genji.”

“What a relief,” Jack said sarcastically. He rubbed his hand over his jaw, staring down at his feet. Finally, he muttered, “I don’t really deserve it--I’d settle for less hateful glaring whenever we’re in the same room together--but it’d be great if someday he... felt the same way I did.”

“Figured as much.” Jesse looked insufferably smug. “Don’t remember much from our drunken’ day out but I remember bits an’ pieces. You were  _ gushin’ _ about Gabe at one point. One’a the reasons I figured your intentions weren’t bad.”

“That’s so embarrassing,” Jack groaned. He did  _ not _ remember doing that.

“Naw.” Jesse grinned and gave him a push so they’d start walking to the back door. “It ain’t. Good t’ hear you say it sober too.”

It was strange, but Jack fell into a routine. He’d wake up in the morning, get his father taken care of, and then prepare for Jesse’s training. Sometimes Sombra would come along, though she rarely did more than sit in the chair outside and snap pictures of them. Jack would alternate between working with him and taking care of his father, whom he’d given a bell to ring if he needed anything—which Jack suspected John enjoyed more than he should. 

After practice and lunch, Jesse would usually leave, and Jack would spend the rest of the afternoon and evening relaxing in the living room so he was nearby if his father needed anything. Ana also sent him regular texts or called when she was too busy to drop by. On days when she didn’t visit he’d get texts from Sombra, though he couldn’t recall giving her his number. He thought—hoped—Jesse had probably given it to her.

The verbal abuse didn’t stop as John spent more time asleep than awake. Some days—good days—Jack didn’t even flinch as he scrolled through videos on his tablet. Other days it was like he was a child again, cowering against the wall and trying not to cry because that would just bring a fresh tirade of insults. 

He just wanted stability, but instead he was on a seesaw—either happy or miserable but never in between. 

At night he dared to check the text he’d sent to Gabriel, hoping a reply might pop up before his eyes. It didn’t. 

Friday morning he drove to Zenyatta’s little office, where his worst fears were realized as soon as he saw Genji sitting behind the front desk. They stared at each other for a moment, Jack recognizing the familiar urge to turn on his heel and bolt. 

Genji broke the awkward silence first. “Hello, Mr. Morrison.”

“Please just call me Jack,” he muttered, taking a seat that was a little too short for him.

Tense silence descended upon them once more. Jack was nearly ten minutes early and he realized Zenyatta was probably in with another client right now. Damn his need to be early to appointments. 

“Jesse has been seeing me every morning,” said Jack when the silence got to be too much. “I told him he should invite you.”

“I know.” Jack couldn’t tell by his face or tone if that was a good or bad  _ I know _ .

“I mean, it might be nice for Jesse to have someone else to spar with.”

“He did tell me you hit hard.”

Jack grinned a bit crookedly. “I don’t pull my punches.”

“I don’t know—”

“Don’t know what?” Zenyatta turned the corner just then, his last client quietly thanking him before slipping out the front door.

“Oh, uh, Mr. M—Jack invited me to train with Jesse, but I’m at work in the mornings—”

“What about on the weekend?” Zenyatta asked gently.

Genji flushed and looked down at his desk, pushing a pen off the pad of paper he’d been writing on. “Do you meet on the weekends?”

“Uh, yes. We meet every day. Sombra comes over sometimes, too, though she doesn’t train,” said Jack, wondering why Genji was blushing and acting so reluctant. “Jesse wanted to invite you. You don’t have to go.”

“No! I’d like to come. I’ll come tomorrow.” Genji gave him a small grin.

“How wonderful,” Zenyatta said, sliding his hands into his sleeves. “Jack, are you ready?”

Jack left the office once more feeling off-kilter. They’d talked a lot about his father. There was a lot to dig into there, far more than he’d expected. Jack had thought it was simple: his father was an abusive piece of shit, but the damage that had been done ran deep, and Zenyatta was guiding him through darker and darker tunnels. It was like Jack had been a hare, rushing through deeper and deeper burrows to escape a hunter. Now he had to look at the walls, feel the soil, taste the damp air. At the end of the hour, he was led blinking into the light, deeply aware of how hollow the ground was under him.

It was slightly preferable to the guts-out feeling he’d had last week. 

He sat in his car and checked his phone, but still Gabriel hadn’t gotten back to him. Jack sighed and rested his forehead against the wheel. Would Gabriel  _ ever _ want to try, or had he just been humoring Jack the last time they spoke? Either way, it was completely out of his hands; Jack had hit the ball into Gabriel’s court and all he could do was wait and see.

The next morning found Jack leaning against the front of his house, arms crossed over his chest as he waited for Jesse, Genji, and maybe Sombra to show up. His father had started up about finding a wife again, so Jack had snagged a beer to drink it under the morning sun. Small blessings that his father couldn’t follow him out here. 

Jack crushed the empty beer can and pushed off the wall to wander over to the junked out car he hadn’t managed to get towed away yet. He tossed the can through the broken window just as he heard the roar of the motorcycle. Sombra must have decided not to come.

Jack turned around to see all  _ three _ of them crammed onto the bike, Sombra straddling the gas tank while Genji had his arms wrapped tightly around Jesse’s waist. Jack was so shocked that he just stared as Jesse stopped and kicked out the stand. He helped Sombra slide off as Genji hopped off the back and finally he dismounted. 

Jesse grinned as he pulled off his helmet and set it down on the seat. “Howdy!”

“What in God's name do you think you’re doing?!” 

“We ain’t got a car an’ I’m the only one who can drive,” said Jesse defensively.

“You could have  _ called _ me to pick you all up! And for the record, I’m driving one of you back.” he pointed at all three of them, “I won’t have all three of you leaving on that damn bike,”

“Okay,  _ dad _ ,” Sombra said, rolling her eyes as she popped a piece of gum.

While Jack watched Jesse and Genji spar, fixing their forms when he had to, Sombra sat on one of the dining room chairs playing on her phone. It was strange that Genji had been so unsure about coming; he and Jesse seemed to be having a great time throwing each other down into the grass. Jesse in particular looked pleased to have him around, practically radiating delight.

His phone buzzed once in his pocket and he pulled it out to check it only to freeze in place, the sound of laughter and Sombra’s nails clicking fading away into a dull roar.

**Gabriel Reyes 1:13PM**

_ Dinner tonight. 8pm. Harry’s. _

“Jack?”

“Hey, blondie? Hey!”

Jack startled as Sombra snapped her fingers in his face. “Huh? What?” He realized all three of them were staring at him expectantly. “What?”

Jesse jerked his chin at Jack’s phone. “What was that? You get some bad news?”

“I guess it depends on how you look at it,” Jack said, staring back down at his screen. “Gabriel texted me... he said... we should have dinner tonight at eight.”

“That’s great news, partner!” Jesse crowed as Sombra exclaimed, “That’s awful! We have under seven hours to make you presentable, blondie!”

Jack looked down at himself then at Sombra. “What? I look fine.”

“When was the last time you cut your hair?” Sombra shook her head, tapping her foot impatiently. “I’ve never seen you wear anything nice either. What’re you gonna wear?”

“It’s just Harry’s, it’s not a fancy place—” He reached up to feel his hair, which was starting to grow out a bit but could hardly be called  _ shaggy _ .

Sombra tsked. “It’s a good thing I’m here, blondie.” She hooked her elbow around his and dragged him inside. “We need to get you a haircut and a new outfit.”   
  
“Sombra, I can’t leave the house, I need to watch my father,” said Jack, a tad bemused.

“Jesse can stay here.”

“Jesse can  _ what _ ?” Jesse sputtered, already looking overwhelmed at the very  _ thought _ of it.

“Jesse can’t stay here.” Jack pulled his arm away from hers gently. “It’s a lot more than watching or bringing him water.”

Sombra fumed. “This is serious! Don’t you want to make a good first impression?”

“First impression?” Jack laughed, throwing his arms out as if to say  _ look at me _ . “We were childhood friends. We brawled in an alley the first time he saw me back.”

“That doesn’t count! This is your  _ real _ first impression, blondie!”

“We could ask Ana,” Jesse chimed in.

Sombra snapped her fingers. “Call your doctor friend!”

Jack resisted at first. Ana had better things to do than hang around his horrible father. The part of him that  _ did _ want to make a positive impact finally caved to Sombra and Jesse’s cajoling. He told himself she was probably working, that she’d never want to come over. Jack owed  _ her _ ; she didn’t owe him anything.

Ana answered on the second ring. “Hello Jack,” she said warmly.  _ Knowingly _ . “Do you need a couple of hours away from home?”

Jack swore under his breath. “You already know, don’t you?”

She laughed, “See you soon!”

“You couldn’t have given me a little warning?” Jack groused even as he was eternally grateful.

“That’s hardly as much fun.” Ana hung up before Jack could find a proper retort.

She must have already been on her way over, which made Jack feel like there was a giant machine moving silently just under his feet because she arrived far too soon after the phone call. She had a mischievous little glint in her eye as she greeted Jack by kissing both his cheeks. “Take all the time you need to get ready.”

“It’s not that big of a deal,” Jack muttered.

Ana raised an eyebrow at him, “Not that big of a deal? Isn’t this what you wanted?”

“Yes!” Jack admitted with a groan. “But I’ll look desperate if I show up too overdressed.”

“We’re not going to make you look desperate,” Sombra assured him. “C’mon, hurry up, let’s go!”

It seemed no one was going to let him say no. Genji volunteered to stay behind to help Ana, and Jesse was suddenly eager to stay behind, too. Jack felt warmth spread through his chest even as Sombra dragged him out to his car. When had these people become his friends? Ana was easy, they’d had history, but Sombra, Jesse and Genji? They’d been Gabriel’s people, and here they were eager to step up and be around him. Jack knew he had to work hard to be worthy of this kind of friendship, that he had to be a person that deserved it. He wasn’t yet, but maybe someday he would be.

Sombra directed him as he drove, the two of them winding up at a salon. “Uh, I saw a barber on the way here,” said Jack. “I don’t need anything fancy.”

“Trust me.” Sombra got out of the car. “These ladies know what they’re doing.”

He stepped inside after Sombra and flushed as all eyes were on him. Amongst the posters of women plastered to the windows, Jack stuck out like a sore thumb. Sombra looked perfectly at home, grinning and rattling off some rapid-fire Spanish to one of the women with an empty chair. Jack only got bits and pieces of their conversation as he was grabbed and led to the chair. Something about a shave?

Sombra sat in a nearby chair, heels hooked on the edge so she could rest her chin on her knees. She looked at ease here, joking and chatting with other customers and hairdressers. The woman working on Jack pulled out a razor and snapped an attachment onto it, shaving the back and sides of his head with  _ no _ input from him. Ah, well. If he had to trust anyone to know what would look good, it should be Sombra, he supposed. 

The woman wasn’t taking off much, anyway—just making it shorter and more well-groomed than the hair on the top of his head. Shen then grabbed some gel, rubbing it between her palms before running her fingers through the hair on the top of Jack’s head, pushing it forward and flipping it up a bit at the front. He was starting to thin out a little at the top, but a simple haircut seemed to take at least five years off him.

“You like it?” his hairdresser asked, holding up a mirror behind him so he could see the back of his head.

“Yeah,” Jack said honestly, running his palm over the shaved down hair on the back of his head. “Thank you.”

“I told you,” Sombra said, far too smug. “Come on, blondie. We got to get you dressed up nice now.”

Jack had never considered himself  _ completely _ lacking in style, but he’d also spent most of his life in uniform or some form of jeans and t-shirt. Sombra clearly had something nicer in mind when she found a pair of well-fitting black slacks, a rich-blue button-up shirt, and a black vest. 

“Sombra, this is over the top,” Jack muttered as he tried it all on and waited for her assessment. “He’s going to laugh me right out of that restaurant.”

“It’s about showing you care enough to try, blondie,” said Sombra, eying him critically. She twirled her finger and Jack sighed, spinning in a slow circle. Maybe she was right. His judgement on these things couldn’t be trusted. Besides, she probably knew Gabriel better than he did.

“Well?” he asked wryly, holding his arms out to his side.

“You have some shoes that’ll match this?” Sombra asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I have my dress shoes I used to wear with my uniform.”

“Then I think we’re all good!” she said cheerfully.

Jack bought the clothes and drove back, Sombra in complete control of the radio. When they got back, Jesse and Genji were outside waiting for them, which Jack suspected meant that his father was awake. Poor Ana. 

As soon as he stepped out of the car, Jesse was in his space and looking into the bag he was carrying. “Well? What’d you get?”

“Put it on!” Sombra urged, shoving Jack towards the front door.

Jack couldn’t help but laugh. “You seem more eager than I do.”

“Are you eager?” Genji asked.

“I guess... mostly nervous,” Jack admitted. As soon as Sombra got him inside he could hear Ana speaking softly with his father.

John growled as soon as he saw Jack round the corner. “There you are, you left me with this... this...!” 

“Hello, Jack!” said Ana cheerfully. Bless her, she didn’t seem flustered at all.

“Be polite,” said Jack sternly, letting himself get pushed further back and out of sight again.

He left Jesse and Genji just outside his bedroom door as he pulled off the tags and got his clothes changed. Using a full length mirror hanging on his closet door, Jack stared at himself for a moment before opening the door and letting Jesse and Genji in to see him.

Jesse whistled, tipping his hat. “Well, ain’t you a gentleman now?”

“Jesse!” Ana called from the living room. “I need a strong young man in here!”

Jesse groaned, dragging his feet all the way out. “Coming...”

Jack turned back around to look at himself in the mirror, hardly recognizing the man looking back at him. The slacks, vest, and blue button-up shirt all seemed to sit on a stranger. Especially with his hair freshly cut, one might even call him  _ stylish _ . Jack smoothed his hand down the front of the vest and turned to Genji who was watching him with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Sort of seems silly to dress up when I know Gabriel is just going to tell me to fuck off,” he said, trying to wrestle down his nerves.

Genji frowned. “Why would he ask you to dinner if he was just going to tell you to fuck off?”

Jack turned back to the mirror. “I don’t know. I just... can’t see him forgiving me.”

Hands settled on his shoulders and forced him to turn around, Genji looking up at him sharply. “Why do you think that?”

Jack just stared at him for a moment, a bit surprised by the intensity in his gaze. Genji was always so quiet, always blending into the background when around his more outgoing friends. Though Jack supposed  _ he _ blended into the background when around people as vibrant as Jesse and Sombra. Still... Genji had never shown too much interest in Jack as he was dragged around by Sombra and Jesse.

“Some things can never be forgiven,” Jack muttered. “And Gabriel has been so angry. Not that I blame him.”

“There is nothing that cannot be forgiven,” said Genji firmly, “and you should worry less about it. It is not up to you. It is up to Gabriel.”

“That’s what I’m worried about,” he sighed.

Genji took his hands off Jack’s shoulders and moved a few steps away, stopping with his back to him. He was quiet for a little while, as if weighing something in his head. 

Finally he spoke. “When I was only 15 years old, my father died. Hanzo and I left Japan and came  _ here _ ." He paused, and Jack couldn’t see the expression on his face but he sounded pained. "I was... a difficult child, I admit. I acted out. I was angry and upset at losing our father and the move. Hanzo is not much older than me, and he was hurt, too. Hurt and trying to support us and not equipped to do so.”

“So...” Jack had a feeling he knew where this was going.

Genji turned and gave Jack a wry smile. “So, he kicked me out. And I was suddenly angry, hurt... and homeless.”

“Jesus Christ,” Jack sagged back against the mirror. Even  _ his _ father had never gone that far, though he wondered what would have happened if he’d ever come out to him as a kid.

Genji nodded a bit curtly. “I am not sure what would have happened to me if Gabriel had not come around. He took me in, helped me out, but I was still angry. And I was angry for a long time.”

“I’m so sorry that happened t—”

Genji stopped him, holding his hand up. “I am not telling you this for sympathy. You said some things can never be forgiven but I disagree. I found forgiveness in myself when I thought I never would, and while I would not say Hanzo and I are all the way there... we are learning. Forgiveness is an action, not a word, Jack. Gabriel may  _ never _ tell you he forgives you, but he might invite you to dinner.”

Jack stared for a moment before letting out a small laugh. He ran his hand through his hair. “You know who you sound like—?”

“Don’t say it,” Genji said, turning a little red.

“—you sound just like a certain therapist.”

“Gabriel may have taken me in, but I firmly believe Zenyatta saved my life when he offered me a job.” Genji took a deep breath and gave Jack a grin. “Gabriel is a good man, but he has his own demons. He was not good at taming the anger that was burning me alive from the inside out.”

All the nerves that had been twisting in his gut were suddenly just... gone. Jack moved close and put his hand on Genji’s shoulder, giving it a small squeeze. “I think we’re all glad for that. You’re a good man, Genji. I’m lucky to count you as a friend.”

Jack took a deep breath and thought he was ready to accept what would come. He wasn’t alone here. He had friends, a network he’d always denied himself before. Jack was learning how to be a person, maybe a little later than most people did, but better late than never, as they said.

His whole life he’d been desperately unfair to Gabriel, depending on him for so much but never willing or able to reciprocate. He’d always felt so hollow, a shallow man of no substance. 

It was going to be different now. He was a different man, and so was Gabriel, but he was  _ excited _ to get to know that man. He could only hope the person he was now was someone Gabriel wanted to know as well. But if he  _ wasn’t _ ... 

There  _ were _ people who liked him as he was now. People who would continue to like him regardless of how this dinner went.

“What are you thinking about?” Genji asked curiously, drawing Jack back to reality.

Jack turned to give himself one last look over in the mirror. “I’m thinking I’m ready for dinner.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack goes to dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to my beta Airafleeza
> 
> Tumblr: [ohgodsalazarwhy](https://ohgodsalazarwhy.tumblr.com/)  
> Twitter:[ NoviceSalazar](https://twitter.com/NoviceSalazar)

Jack always had to be early, and today was no different. Half an hour before they were supposed to meet, he was already seated and waiting for Gabriel to come to him. He played with the cuff of his shirt, thanking the waitress every time she filled up his glass of ice water, which had already left behind a damp spot on the red table cloth because he was just letting it sweat, barely drinking a sip now and again. Yet his waitress always kept it topped right up. Maybe she thought he was getting stood up by a date.

God. Maybe he was.

No, that was ridiculous. Why would Gabriel ask him to dinner just to stand him up? He hadn’t texted back for ages, so it had to mean something when he did. If he’d wanted to mess with Jack he would have done it by now. Jack sipped his water and kept glancing up front, watching people move in and out of the restaurant. Harry’s was a sort of local favorite, serving Italian food one step above Olive Garden. Nice, but not  _ too _ nice—the sort of lack of pretension that people from Bloomington enjoyed.

Just before eight, the doors opened and Gabriel stepped inside. Jack straightened up like he’d been hit with a cattle prod, electricity shooting up his spine. He was dressed in simple black jeans and a hooded sweater, hands in its big front pocket. Gabriel’s eyes were a bit shadowed in the dim lighting, his beanie pulled down low, but Jack thought he was looking around. He stiffened a bit as he looked Jack’s way and Jack gave a small wave. Despite Genji’s encouragement earlier, his nerves were coming right back.

Gabriel rolled his shoulders, and Jack wondered if  _ he _ was nervous too. Or maybe just annoyed that Jack showed up. 

No, he couldn’t think that way. Gabriel had  _ told _ Ana about this so she had come over to watch his father. This was a second chance; it wasn’t a trap or a joke. Jack couldn’t treat it as such. 

“What are you wearing?” Gabriel asked as he walked over.

“Oh, uh.” Jack smoothed his hand self consciously down the front of his vest. “Sombra said I should dress nice.”

“Hmm.” Gabriel raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything else about it as he took a seat across from Jack.

Well... here they were. Jack took another sip of his water, trying to figure out what to say. It wasn’t that he had  _ nothing _ to say; he just had  _ too much _ to say and it was getting all tangled up in his throat like too many people trying to fit through the same doorway. They were saved from awkward silence by the timely arrival of their waitress who cheerfully greeted Gabriel by name and brought him a glass of water and a basket of bread.

“Why Harry’s?” Jack asked after she’d left, which wasn’t any of the things he’d been struggling to say.

“Why not Harry’s?” Gabriel countered.

What the hell did he say to that? Jack changed tactics. “So, how long have you been working in that nightclub?”

“What does it matter?”

Jack just stared at Gabriel. This was ridiculous. “What have you been up to since I left?”

“We’re not getting through twenty-five years’ worth of stories at dinner.” Gabriel was looking at the menu, not him. Almost pointedly so. If the staff knew him by name, he probably knew exactly what he was going to order before sitting down. 

Chances were Gabriel was just as nervous as he was, and it was manifesting as a serious case of tall, dark, and handsome bastard syndrome.

Jack had to laugh, sitting back in his chair as Gabriel shot him a suspicious look. “Did you call me to dinner just to blue ball me?”

“ _ What _ ?” Gabriel snapped the menu back down. “I don’t give a shit about your balls, Morrison.”

“Then why are you sitting here busting them before you’ve bought me dinner?”

Gabriel sneered and leaned forward with his elbow on the table. “Who says I’m buying?”

Jack smirked and leaned forward as well. “Then should I bust your balls?”

They couldn’t even hold their glares for more than a second before laughing and sitting back in their seats. Jack wasn’t nervous anymore, not really. Gabriel was a mean son of a bitch, but he kind of  _ always _ had been; back in the day, Jack had been on the inside, safe from that kind of derision. He was on the outside now, but maybe not for long. 

“Okay, okay,” said Jack after a moment, “how about you ask  _ me _ questions?”

“Obviously,” Gabriel snorted, grabbing a piece of bread from the basket and starting to butter it up. “Tell me… hmmm...” he took a bite out of the bread, looking past Jack thoughtfully. “Tell me about your time in the military, tin soldier.”

It was an easy question that didn’t have a lot of baggage, and that, more than anything, proved to Jack that Gabriel really did want to give this a try. He didn’t know what he’d done differently to be allowed a chance, but he wasn’t going to waste it. Jack had several good stories saved, ones he’d told over and over again whenever people asked that question: failing to fit in when he lived in Japan, getting burned lobster red while living in Hawaii, and doing drills out in the sweltering Afghani sun. Jack got a thrill whenever he saw Gabriel crack a small smile, though he always tried to hide it behind his glass. 

The waitress took their orders, and as Jack suspected Gabriel already knew what he wanted because the waitress was writing it down before he even started to say it. 

“Hold on,” Gabriel said after their meals arrived. “Have you ever been in battle?”

“Oh, uh, yeah, but those aren’t fun stories,” said Jack, voice faltering a bit as Gabriel caught him off guard. “Which reminds me of when I first visited Russia—”

“You’ve been shot though, right?”

“How would you know that?” Jack never shared stories like that. They weren’t fun; they were stressful and sad and he didn’t like to think about them. He hadn’t even  _ gotten _ to those things in therapy. 

“Well, I… ” Gabriel looked a tad frustrated then sighed and pulled out his phone. “Don’t be weirded out. I didn’t  _ ask _ for this.”

“Ask for what?” Jack’s eyebrows shot up as Gabriel turned his phone around to show Jack a picture of himself doing a Sun Salutation shirtless, eyes on Jesse as he was clearly struggling to maintain his pose beside him. “Oh.” 

“Sombra started sending them,” Gabriel muttered. “And I noticed—” He zoomed in with two fingers to show the slight indent of a small starburst scar just below his right collarbone. Jack automatically reached up to touch it over his vest.

“Wait,” Jack said, focusing back on Gabriel who was distinctly embarrassed, “were you zooming in on my chest?”

“You  _ know _ I was,” Gabriel grumbled, quickly putting his phone away. His skin was dark enough that it wasn’t as obvious when he blushed but Jack could tell and was delighted. 

“So, like what you see?”

“You’re not answering  _ my _ question.”

“I’ll answer it, I promise,” said Jack, resting his chin in his palm, “but you gotta answer this one. Like what you see?”

Gabriel sighed and rubbed his hand over his face, cheeks dark. “You’ve filled out... _ a lot _ … since I last saw you shirtless.”

Jack grinned, heart throbbing in his chest as he watched Gabriel squirm. “Thanks.” He wasn’t sure if he was annoyed or pleased with Sombra for sending the pictures in the first place. Maybe the photos had been part of the reason Gabriel had decided to invite him to dinner. “Yeah, I’ve been shot. This is the most noticeable scar.” He reached up to touch it again. “But I’ve got others.”

Gabriel pushed some cabbage around on his plate, not looking at Jack anymore. “Did you almost die?”

Apparently conversation couldn’t stay light forever. 

“No,” said Jack softly, “I’ve been hurt, but I was always lucky enough to have people there to help and get me where I needed to be.”

Gabriel sighed and looked up at him. “Would I have ever found out if you  _ had _ died?”

Jack took a deep breath. “No. I... I don’t think so. They would have told my father, but I doubt he would have shared it with you.”

Gabriel set his fork down and rubbed his hand over his face, fingers tracing over his beard on the way down. “I wish... fuck, Jack, I wish you’d sent me a letter, at least.  _ Would _ you have even tried to contact me if all this hadn’t happened?”

“If all this wouldn’t have happened, I think I would have run until I died,” said Jack honestly. “It’s not something I’m going to do again.”

“Well, Jesse certainly likes you, and so do Sombra and Genji apparently,” said Gabriel, almost reluctantly like he didn’t want to admit that was the case. “You’ve been keeping them out of trouble.”

“I didn’t realize that was possible.”

Gabriel snorted. “Never for  _ long _ .”

“They all seem to love you very much,” Jack spoke softly, fingers brushing over his glass of water as he watched Gabriel. “Seems like you adopted them.”

“More like took in some strays,” Gabriel said wryly. 

“Would you tell me how that happened?” Jack asked, trying to tiptoe in. He didn’t want Gabriel to clam up on him. He couldn’t control Gabriel’s thoughts and feelings, but he  _ desperately _ wanted to at least  _ know _ his thoughts and feelings. 

Gabriel tensed up, looking like he was about to snap. He instead scratched through the hair on his chin and glanced away. “They didn’t have anyone else, or anywhere else to go. What was I supposed to do? Just leave them out on the street with nothing?”

“No,” said Jack fondly. “Of course not.” 

Gabriel set his fork down on his plate with a small clink then sat back. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Why are you so interested in them? I thought you were just using them to get at me.”

“Well, when I first went to see Jesse that  _ was _ what I was doing... but then I just started to enjoy his company. He’s a good kid. They all are, really.” Jack couldn’t help but give Gabriel a small grin. “I guess... they’re my friends now?” 

“That’s what Jesse says,” Gabriel sighed as if he was disappointed that Jack was being honest with him. Jack thought it seemed more playful than severe.

“So, uh. What are you doing working in a nightclub for Hanzo?” After what Genji had told him today it seemed a little weird that Gabriel would ever work for him.

Before answering, Gabriel flagged down their waitress, and she brought the check without him having to ask for it. Jack snatched it up before Gabriel could even reach for it. “Genji suggested it, actually.” He cleared his throat then added, ”He, uh, wanted to help after I decided to quit my last job.”

Jack pulled out his card and slipped it into the pocket of the black book, which he set it to the side for the waitress to grab. “Do you still play the guitar?”

“Yeah.” Gabriel leaned forward, elbow on the table and chin in his hand as he watched Jack pick up a glass of water. “Maybe I’ll play for you sometime.”

The thought thrilled Jack so much he slopped some down his chin and chest. Cursing, he picked up the napkin as Gabriel burst into laughter. “Yeah, haha very funny,” he said, trying to clean the water off his vest. “I thought you wanted to write songs for a living. What happened to all those plans about being in a famous band?”

Gabriel got a wistful look on his face, looking past Jack and into space. “Things changed after you left... my entire life fell apart. I dropped out of school, I gave up on my dreams...”

“Gabriel...” Jack’s heart twisted until Gabriel dipped his fingers in his glass of water and flicked it over his face. “Gah!”

“Get over yourself, Morrison,” Gabriel said dryly. “Music is a hard business. Me and a million other kids never made it into a band.”

Jack wiped his face off with a huff, lips twisting into a small smile, he should have expected Gabriel to mess with him. “That’s fair.” The waitress took his card and came back with the receipt. Dinner had flown by, and he didn’t want to say goodbye just yet. “Uh, the park’s nearby. Do you want to... walk some of this off before we call it a night?”

“Fine.” Gabriel got up and Jack scrambled to follow him out. It was dark now, but there were plenty of lights as they walked silently past the buildings to a small nearby park. The park's path was lit by little fairy lights. A couple other people were speaking quietly as they walked. Jack pushed his hands into his pockets, unsure of what else to do with them.

They wandered up onto a small wooden bridge over a stream and Gabriel came to a stop, elbows resting on the edge as he stared down into the water. Jack slowly stood beside him, close enough that their shoulders almost brushed as he put his forearms on the edge of the railing. 

Jack took a deep breath and spoke before he could think better of it. “I’ve missed you, Gabriel.”

Gabriel scuffed his foot against the wood and kicked some little bits of gravel into the stream. “I’m still mad at you, Jack.”

“Oh," Jack stuttered. "I—uh—” 

“Shut up. I’m going to get some stuff off my chest and I don’t want to hear your thoughts or opinions while I do.”

There was a sickening swoop in his gut, and Jack shut his mouth with a snap. 

Gabriel let out a long breath, staring down at the water below. “You really hurt me and Ana when you disappeared like that. But more than that...  _ fuck, _ Jack. If things had been so bad, why didn't you tell me? Why didn’t you fucking  _ talk _ to me? I thought it was all my fault because I’d kissed you and ruined our friendship.”

_ It wasn’t your fault, could never be your fault _ . Jack wanted to reach out and reassure him but he stayed silent; it was clear that Gabriel had been holding this inside for a long time. Still, hearing Gabriel mention the kiss was like being kicked in the chest, the feeling of shock and anticipation. Jack had been willing to forget it for Gabriel’s sake, for his own sake. God, it felt like too much to hope that Gabriel would ever want that with him again. 

His one and only chance had been destroyed, but here was Gabriel bringing it up—a memory he’d clearly held onto with a white-knuckled grip the same way Jack had.

“Then I got furious, and I stayed furious because it was easier than being sad. Things happened after you left and I blamed  _ you _ because I thought if you’d been here maybe things would have been different, but...” Gabriel huffed and finally glanced at Jack. “I know that’s not fair to you. I made my own choices. But when I saw you in that alley all those feelings of rage and abandonment just came rushing back in.” Gabriel shook his head and looked back at the stream. "I shouldn’t have attacked you like that. Ana gave me quite a talking to about it.”

Jack laughed under his breath. He could imagine.

“And I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking, especially after the things you told me when drunk. You sounded so... sincere.” Gabriel paused a moment. “And you’ve been really good to Jesse and his friends. He doesn’t trust people easily, but seeing how much Jesse likes you convinced me you were still...” Gabriel ran his hand over his face. “...still a little bit of the same Jackie I used to know. The one who’d rush to save baby possums or give a homeless guy all the money you had on you.”

Jack swallowed around a lump in his throat. “You, ah, remember when I brought that possum to your place and your mom screamed so loud that the neighbors called 911?”

Gabriel laughed, throwing his head back. “ _ God _ . The cops that responded laughed so hard one of them nearly choked.”

“But they took the baby to an animal rescue, at least,” Jack chimed in fondly.

Gabriel twisted to look at Jack, one hand on his hip while his other remained on the railing of the bridge. “What did we name that thing? It had a name, I swear.”

Jack scratched his chin in thought, trying to play it cool when he just wanted to wrap his arms around Gabriel and bury his face against his chest. “Uh... Whiskers, I think?”

“Whiskers,” Gabriel scoffed. “That sounds about right.”

“Hey, I, uh, speaking of your mom—” Gabriel’s smile fell and he shifted to look back down into the water. “—I’ve been thinking about her a lot lately. About how she did so much for me. I was wondering... do you think we could visit her sometime? Would she want to see me?” He couldn’t stop the hope from slipping into his voice.

“She would have loved to see you, Jack.”

_ Would have _ . “No.” That couldn’t be true. Gabriel was playing a cruel joke on him.

“I’m sorry, Jack—”

“When?”

Gabriel was quiet for a second then said softly, “About a year after you left. A heart attack. I came home from school and just found her lying on the floor.”

_ A year after he’d left _ . Oh god. He’d missed it by over 20 years. Jack teared up, quickly covering his face with his hands as he struggled to hold back to agony of such an unexpected loss. She was  _ so _ young, and how had she felt after Jack had disappeared? He’d hurt her too, and he’d  _ never _ get to apologize for it. 

Jack flinched as a warm hand settled on his shoulder, another gently prying his hands away from his face.

“We can visit if you still want to. I think she’d like that.” Gabriel’s eyes were surprisingly gentle as they met his. “I know you loved her. She loved you, too. Until the very end.”

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there,” Jack whispered. “I didn’t know, I—”

“I know... I know, Jackie.” Gabriel wrapped him up in a hug, one Jack would have killed for just a moment ago but now was barely thinking about as he buried his face in Gabriel’s shoulder. They stayed like that for several minutes, Jack blinking silent tears into Gabriel’s hoodie as he tried to get himself back under control. Ms. Reyes had been a saint; she deserved to live a long life and instead got cut down in her prime. There was so much Jack had wanted to tell her, stories he wanted to share and thanks he wanted to give for all the love she’d given him when he was just a child and wasn’t getting it from anywhere else.

He pulled back at last, taking in a shuddering breath and wiping his arm over his eyes to clear away the tears clinging to his lashes. “I’d... I’d like to visit. I’m free on Fridays.”

“Then I’ll ask for that night off,” said Gabriel, rubbing his hand over Jack’s arm.

“I can’t believe you’re comforting me like this,” Jack sniffed, giving Gabriel a weak smile.

“I’m not heartless,” Gabriel said gently, squeezing Jack’s arm. “And I know what you’re feeling. I still miss her. Every day.”

“I know you’re not heartless.” Jack put his hand over Gabriel’s, holding it against his arm. “From the bottom of my heart, I’m  _ sorry _ . For missing your life, Ana’s life. For not being there for you when you needed me. I still—”  _ love you _ “—care about you a lot. Even after all these years.”

Gabriel’s lips quirked up at the corner. “I know. You haven’t gotten any better at hiding how you feel. You still wear your heart on your sleeve, Jack.”

“You’re just as opaque as ever.” Jack squeezed Gabriel’s hand then let him go. “Can we try again, Gabriel?”

Gabriel didn’t answer right away, just staring into his eyes like he was searching for something. Jack wasn’t sure what he'd find besides red eyes swollen from crying. 

“Yeah,” he finally said, hand sliding off Jack’s arm. “We can try again. I’ll text you about Friday.”

Jack wanted to lean in for a kiss but refrained, reminding himself that just because Gabriel brought up the kiss didn’t mean he wanted anything to do with Jack romantically. As if he’d deserve it anyway. 

“I think I’m going to... collect myself for a bit out here,” Jack choked out with as much dignity as he could muster.

“Okay,” Gabriel said sympathetically. “Goodnight, Jack.”

Jack watched him go until he turned a corner. Despite the sad note the night had ended on, he couldn’t imagine it going better. He stayed at the bridge for a while longer, slowly putting himself back together. 

Jack still couldn’t believe it: Ms. Reyes was gone, yet his horrible old father got to live. Life just wasn’t fair; it was random and cruel.

Once he was sure he wouldn’t burst into tears, Jack left the park and drove home. Ana was up waiting for him with a beaming smile on her face as soon as he stepped through the front door. 

“Well?” she asked.

Jack toed off his shoes, giving her a shaky smile. “It was... good. Really good.”

Ana came in closer, speaking softly. “Oh, Jack, were you crying?”

“Found out about Ms. Reyes,” he whispered. “But Gabriel said he... he wants to try again. We’re going to visit her on Friday." Jack pulled her into a hug. "Thank you, Ana.  _ Thank you _ .” 

“Anytime, Jack,” she said, standing on her tiptoes so she could rest her chin on his shoulder as she hugged him back. “I’m just glad you’re both getting your heads out of your butts at last.”

Jack snorted and pulled back to look down at her. “A long time coming, huh?”

“It has been unbearable,” Ana said solemnly. She pinched his cheek. “You have three very tired children sleeping in your living room so don’t wake them up when you go to bed.”

“They’re still here?”

“They wanted to ask you how your dinner went, but I put all of them to work out in the yard so they passed out early.”

“Ana, you are devious.”

She tapped the side of her nose and gave him a wink. “What’s the point of having some able young bodies around if they’re not going to do any work?”

“I’ll make them a big breakfast tomorrow morning.” Jack said, muffling a yawn. Now that he was home his bedroll was calling him.

Ana left after kissing both his cheeks and Jack silently passed by the living room, noticing that Sombra had stolen the couch while Jesse and Genji were sleeping on the floor. Jesse had one arm wrapped over Genji as he snored softly in his ear. Jack checked on his father, who was sleeping soundly in his hospital bed, then slipped into his own room to lay down on his bedroll. What a night.

The next morning, Jack was up before anyone else. Sombra was laying half off the couch, drooling into her own hair, while on the floor Genji had sprawled out over Jesse’s chest. Jack tried to be very quiet as he made pancake batter and cracked eggs.

“ _ Buenos días _ ,” Sombra yawned, wiping the sleep from her eyes as she wandered into the kitchen. 

“Good morning. You hungry?” Jack asked quietly, not wanting to wake Jesse or Genji. Though he suspected a bomb would have to go off for that to happen.

She poured herself a glass of orange juice and leaned against the counter as she pushed her hair back into some semblance of order. “Soooo... how did last night go?”

“Really good,” Jack said, getting the griddle out and plugging it in. “Thank you for all your help, Sombra.”

Sombra perked right up and moved to sit on the edge of the counter, feet kicking out as she watched Jack cook. “Gonna give me any deets, blondie?”

He smiled to himself as he prepared the food. Sombra had always seemed like a nosy person, and she  _ was _ , but it was also clear that she cared a lot more than she tried to let on with her attitude. Jack got the feeling that she didn’t trust easy. He wasn’t sure what he’d done to earn her trust, but he was glad to have it. Didn’t want to lose it in the same way he didn’t want to lose Jesse or Genji.

Jack started to fry up some bacon and poured some batter on the griddle. “We mostly just talked.”

Sombra pouted. “Aw c’mon, that’s boring.”

Jack laughed softly. “Sorry I don’t have anything more exciting to tell you. But it  _ was _ a really good dinner, and I appreciate the three of you helping me get ready for it.”

Sombra tapped her heel against the lower cabinets, grin on her face. “What are friends for?”

_ Friends _ . Bloomington was opening up around him like a flower turning towards the rising sun. Last night with Gabriel had been important to him, but at some point Gabriel hadn’t become the  _ only _ important thing. It was like he was building his own family out here, something he never would have expected.

Jack served her a plate of fresh pancakes, some bacon, and scrambled eggs. “What indeed.” 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack gets something off his chest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to my beta Airafleeza
> 
> Tumblr: [ohgodsalazarwhy](https://ohgodsalazarwhy.tumblr.com/)  
> Twitter:[ NoviceSalazar](https://twitter.com/NoviceSalazar)

“You’re getting a lot better at this.” 

“I been practicin’!” Jesse said proudly as he balanced on one foot, arms over his head. “Work on it after I leave here, too!”

Jack crossed his arms over his chest. “Yeah, because you don’t have a job.” 

“I  _ told _ ya, I  _ can’t _ —!”

“I’ve heard it.” Jack corrected Jesse’s form a bit. “The way you’re living now—it’s not sustainable. You aren’t going to be in your early twenties forever.”

Jesse dropped his pose and stood on two feet again, his stance defensive. “I reckon it ain’t none of your business, partner!”

“Whoa whoa, hey.” Jack gripped Jesse’s shoulder. “I care about you. I’m not trying to pry.”

Jesse shrugged out of his hold and moved into another pose. “Everythin’ is  _ fine _ .” 

“Look, you don’t have to give me your life’s story,” Jack said, knowing it couldn’t be a happy one, “but what  _ exactly _ is stopping you from getting a job? Any job?”

“It...” Jesse grimaced a bit. “It puts me on th’ radar, an’ I can’t have a background check done. I ain’t  _ sayin’ _ anyone is after me, but if they  _ were, _ I wouldn’t wanna make it easy for ‘em.”

“What if I found you some under the table work?” Jack offered gently, nudging Jesse’s arm to fix his form again. "Doesn’t have to be now, but they won’t require any checks or paperwork.”

“I ‘ppreciate you carin’, Jack, but let’s jus’ focus on this, alright?” Jesse cheerfully heel turned by quickly adding on, “I wanna try some sparrin’!”

Jack dropped it, though he couldn’t help but wonder what Jesse’s situation was. He knew he’d had a rough life and previously suspected Jesse was running from something. It would explain why he couldn’t get a job. He wasn’t exactly  _ completely _ under the radar if he had a driver’s license, though. 

Jack pushed it to the back of his mind to mull on at his own pace. Once they finished stretches and a couple laps around the yard, Jack had Jesse practice some basic forms while he went in to check on his father.

As John’s pain worsened, Jack’s job was mostly to monitor the catheter and IV, and to occasionally wake him up to take his pain medication. Jack wondered if he was a bad person for being so relieved that his father was drugged up. If he was asleep, John couldn’t exactly hurl abuse at him.

His phone buzzed in the pocket of his joggers and Jack pulled it out to see a text from Gabriel. It was like the sun burst over the horizon. Jack’s heart clenched as he quickly opened it to read it.

**Gabriel Reyes 1:22PM**

_ What time on Friday? _

**Jack Morrison 1:23PM**

_ I will be free after 9 _

He was glad this was over text and Gabriel could neither see, nor make fun of, the big goofy grin on his face. As much as they talked about being different people, Gabriel made him feel like his old self again... in a good way. Younger, happier. More hopeful. And Gabriel still had the same sense of humor, the same crooked smile. They were older and more jaded,  _ different _ in good and bad ways, but perhaps not as much as they thought.

**Gabriel Reyes 1:24PM**

_ Meet @ St. Joes cemetary @ 9:30 _

**Jack Morrison 1:24PM**

_ Okay _

Jack took a deep breath and tucked his phone away, but he was still grinning like an idiot when he went back outside.

“What’re you so happy about?” Jesse asked, an ice-cold water bottle in hand.

Jack felt like he was walking on clouds. "Gabriel just sent me a text.” 

“You got it real bad, partner,” Jesse laughed, clapping Jack on the back. “C’mon, lemme take your mind off it before you float away on me.”

Jack gave him a small shove. “I could beat you one-handed while texting, cowboy. Don’t you worry about me.”

Jesse bound further out onto the lawn and spread his legs, bringing one hand out and wiggling his fingers in a clear taunt. “Prove it.”

“If you want a beating before we continue our lessons, I won’t stop you.” Jack was in an impossibly good mood; he felt like nothing could ruin it. He put one hand behind his back and fought with Jesse, both of them laughing as Jack twisted out of his amateur grapples and used one arm to slam Jesse down into the grass again and again.

Finally, Jack's knee against his back and one of his arms twisted back so struggling would just hurt himself, Jesse finally yielded. “Alright, uncle!” 

Jack got up off him with a chuckle, reaching down to help him up on his feet. “Let’s slow down and work on how to get out of grapples.”

Jack wasn’t sure what he’d do without Jesse and the others coming over. This place was feeling less like a prison and more like a home. Sort of. He was still stuck here, unable to leave any day but Friday. But when he had visitors every day and things to keep him busy besides caretaking it felt a lot better. Whenever Jesse and Genji were over, they’d spend some time doing yard work after training and the outside of the house was looking, dare he say it... _ good _ . Most of the blackberry vines were torn out, some trash was hauled away, and the old junker car was about to get towed off and sold for scrap.

John made a couple of pointed comments that Jack wasn’t even waiting for him to die before making the place his. Was that what he was doing? At what point had  _ staying _ become the obvious solution? 

Jack didn’t linger on his thoughts about staying. He worked Jesse through grapples, letting himself get thrown to the ground over and over again for practice. Jack was sore as hell by the time they were done for the day, but it was worth it at the end when Jesse looked pleased with himself. 

“What you reckon,” Jesse crowed, the lingering scent of decades of cigarette smoke washing over them as they both came inside. It was always startling to Jack after spending time outside. “Think I could beat you for real soon enough?”

“How soon is soon?” Jack asked, pouring himself a glass of water and leaning against the kitchen counter as he sipped it.

“Mmm, a month,” Jesse hazarded a guess.

Jack threw back his head and laughed. “Give it five years of constant practice and then  _ maybe _ .”

“Tch, you’re overestimating yourself,” he drawled, grabbing his hat off the counter and sliding it on only to tip it in Jack’s direction. “Okay, what’re my chances against anyone else but  _ you _ ?”

“You’re not supposed to use this on anyone else.”

“ _ Hypothetically _ ,” Jesse pleaded, and Jack had a hard time saying no when he used his soulful brown eyes like that. Kid was too goddamn handsome and knew it.

“ _ Hypothetically, _ if you kept your cool and remembered everything and the person was smaller than you... I think you’d do fine.” Jack lifted his glass of water towards Jesse. “But don’t use this as an excuse to wrist-lock an old woman and throw her to the ground.”

Jesse rolled his eyes. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, partner, but we don’t even hang out like that no more.”

Jack took a sip of water, feeling such a rush of fondness for this kid it nearly startled him. He just wanted all the best for Jesse and his friends; he wanted them to have a better life than he did, to make better choices than he did. 

“I noticed,” said Jack softly. “Gabriel noticed, too. Seemed pretty proud of how much work you’re doing right now.”

“Oh, uh, did he?” Jesse tried and failed to look casual as he leaned one elbow on the counter. He reached up to adjust his hat on his head, dropped his hand, then brought it up to adjust his hat again. “What’d he say?” 

Jack hid his smile behind his glass. “He said you guys weren’t getting into so much trouble anymore.”

“That’s it?”

Jack laughed. “You really look up to him, don’t you?”

“Sure. When Sombra an’ I arrived he took us in, an’ he was already watchin’ over Genji at that point. Three kids under his roof, barely makin’ enough to feed himself… that’s th’ kinda guy Gabe is.”

Jack stared down into his half-empty glass, swirling the water a little and watching it lap at the sides of the cup. “You know, it’s funny... back in high school, I don’t know if I would have pegged Gabriel as the kind to bring in strays but...” He looked through his glass to a time long gone, a time he’d spent more hours thinking about than making new memories. “I guess he and his mom took me in, and I was a stray. Guess I was too close back then to see it. I’m glad he was there for you guys.”

“Me, too. Not sure where I’d be without him. You think I’m a delinquent now? Shoulda seen me when I was younger.” Jesse scuffed his heel over the linoleum. “Ain’t gonna claim Gabriel or any of us are saints. We done our share of things to survive, but he taught me a few things along the way.”

Jack reached out and squeezed his shoulder. “How to be a good man, for one.” 

“You really think that?" Like Jack, Jesse wore his heart on his sleeve. He looked at Jack with such longing, like he’d never wanted to hear anything more.

“I really mean that,” Jack said honestly, “You’re a good man. And a good friend.”

“Heh.” Jesse lowered his head and took a step back so the brim of his hat hid his eyes. “Well, I reckon... reckon I fooled you...” He was grinning like an idiot. 

Jack set his glass aside. “When we first started hanging out, you said Bloomington felt like it was closing in on you. You still feel like that?”

“Not as much no more. I got more to do now, don’t feel as much like I’m jus’ spinnin’ my wheels.” Jesse brushed his hand over the hair on his chin and scratched his jaw. “I think that feelin’ can hit you no matter where you are: Bloomington, Albuquerque. Hell, even New York City. I coulda run all over this country an’ never been happy, but I got good people here worth stickin’ around for.”

“Guess it’s really that simple, huh?” Jack muttered. Could he have simply bowed his head and let Gabriel slide the noose off from around his throat?

“Now, I ain’t world’s smartest man, but I think that trapped feelin’ comes a lot more from here.” Jesse prodded Jack’s chest over his heart. “An’ here,” he continued, tapping Jack’s forehead next, “more than it comes from whatever is out here.” Jesse finished by throwing his arms out.

“I think you’re pretty goddamn smart,” said Jack, giving him a small smile. “Smarter than I ever was.”

Jesse tipped his hat. “Well, I ain’t sure you’re givin’ yourself enough credit.”

“But I did the complete opposite of what you’re doing.” Jack argued, the kind words directed at  _ him _ undeserved. He wasn’t worthy of fully accepting anyone's love or devotion. Not yet. “I ran away from the good people worth staying for. It didn’t help me at all.”

“Well, our situations ain’t identical, are they? I mean, I didn’t have... that.” Jesse gestured vaguely behind him towards the living room where John was sleeping in his chair.

“I could have taken the help given to me,” Jack retorted. “I could have left here but stayed in Bloomington.”

“Well... you ain’t runnin’ now, are you?” Jesse huffed and rolled his shoulders, clearly dropping whatever his point had been and changing tracks.

Jack slid his eyes back to the living room. “Kind of chained here at the moment.” 

“But after...?” Jesse wasn’t looking him in the eye like he was afraid of the answer.

“I don’t...think so...” Jack said slowly. “I think... I think I have some more good people worth staying for.”

Jesse beamed at him.

Later that evening Jack found himself in the living room playing a matching game on his tablet while the TV played a sermon in the background. John sucked in a wheezing breath. Speaking seemed exhausting for him now, so Jack sat up straighter when his father started to speak

“Heard what you said to that  _ fag _ you keeping letting into this house.”

Jack dropped his tablet and shot to his feet, heart clenching. “Father!” 

“What? You didn’t know? Saw him out the window being disgusting with that… that green-haired oriental.”

“Father, I am  _ sick _ of that kind of language in this house!” Jack hissed, shocked by his own tone. If John’s look was any indication, he was shocked, too.

“ _ This _ house? It’s  _ my _ house! Too eager to see me die so you can take it?” John coughed, a horrible, rattling sound.

The sheer...  _ audacity _ sent rage lancing through him. 

“I hate this fucking house!” he growled, stalking over to his father's chair and putting his hands on either armrest as he leaned over the withered husk of a once terrifying man. “I’m going to bulldoze the entire fucking thing when you die! I’m going to build something that doesn’t smell like cigarette smoke and doesn’t remind me of every goddamn beating I ever got under this roof!”

Oh God, he was yelling—he was  _ yelling _ at a terminal cancer patient. Jack quickly pulled away, holding a hand over his eyes and taking several deep breaths to try and calm down.

“Beatings,” John scoffed. “You make your life here sound  _ so _ bad, but I  _ never _ beat you, boy. I disciplined you and nothing more!”

What little control Jack had managed to weave together burst apart as he whirled on John. “ _ Discipline _ ? Was it  _ discipline _ when you smashed my head through the drywall after I told you I wanted to spend the night at Gabriel’s house?”

“When I said  _ no _ you took an attitude with me!”

“I was ten years old!” Jack grabbed his own head and started to pace before John’s chair. “I was just a fucking  _ child _ !”

“Which is why I had to teach you respect!”

“Fuck you!” Jack spat. “You didn’t teach me  _ shit _ !”

“How  _ dare _ you—!”

“Oh, how dare I? How dare  _ I _ ? Here’s something for you to think about before you die, you horrible old  _ cocksucker _ ." Jack slammed his hands back down on the armrests to glare right into John’s eyes. "Your  _ son _ is a fag!” 

This was not how he’d wanted this to go. If he ever told John at all, Jack thought he would sit down calmly and come out, not scream it in his father's face during a blow-out argument.

John’s eyes were nearly bulging out of his head. “No son of mine is a fag!” His voice sounded strangled.

“This one is,” Jack taunted, breathing a little harder, feeling wild and out of control. “Been a dirty fag my whole life. Never managed to beat—sorry— _ discipline _ that out of me!”

“You are  _ not _ —!”

“I am!” Jack pulled away and laughed a little shrilly, throwing his arms out like  _ look at me _ ! “Always have been, always will be!" God knows he tried not to be and all that did was waste time.

“I won’t allow this sin and sickness in  _ my _ house—!”

“Oh, you will.” Jack breathed, starting to shake uncontrollably. “You  _ will _ because I’m all that’s standing between you and living in hospice! You want to die in this house? It’ll be with your fag son, you piece of shit!”

“You  _ disgust  _ me.”

Jack threw up his arms. “Good! Feeling is mutual!” 

He stomped out of the living room, grabbing an old pack of John's cigarettes and a lighter before storming out the back door. Jack had a hard time lighting one of the cigarettes as he sat outside in the grass; he was shaking so hard. It had been a long time since he smoked. Over twenty years, probably. He’d never really taken to it, but right now he couldn’t think of anything he needed more than nicotine to calm his nerves.

Well, that or booze. But Jack was trying to avoid that particular vice. Last thing he needed was to start up his old habits as an alcoholic again. Jack lit the cigarette and took a deep drag, letting it all out as a loud cough; the pack was old and disgusting. He kept puffing on it until he stopped coughing, until each breath went down easy, and before long he was lighting a second one.

Jack lay down in the grass and pulled out his phone, flicking through the contacts and calling Gabriel without giving himself time to think twice. He put it on speaker and dropped it beside his head while listening to it ring. Gabriel probably wouldn’t even pick up. 

Jack could feel tears starting to prick the corners of his eyes as he stared up into the sky, already dark as stars lit up above him. No no no no, he wasn’t going to  _ cry _ .

The phone rang long enough that Jack was convinced it would go to voicemail. Of course it would. They’d met  _ once _ , what was he thinking—

“Jack?”

Now that he was outside, now that he was hearing Gabriel’s voice, everything Jack had said and done was crashing down on him like a ton of bricks. “I just—I—” Jack struggled against the tears choking him. 

“What’s wrong?” Was that genuine concern in Gabriel’s voice or just Jack hearing what he hoped for?

“I told my father I’m gay,” he whispered, voice breaking on a sob. “Sort of. In a way.”

“Fuck. I’m coming over.”

“ _ What _ ?” Jack sat up and wiped at his eyes with a sniff. “Don’t!”

“You can’t fucking stop me, Morrison.”

“Gabe—!”

Gabriel hung up. Jack frantically dialed again but it went straight to voicemail.  _ Shit.  _ He did not want Gabriel to see him like this. Jack shuddered as he felt a fresh wave of tears, holding the cigarette against his lips and trying to breathe it in like that’d hold it back but the tears dripped down his cheeks anyway. He stubbed it out in the grass furiously, sitting and holding his head in his hands as he tried to get himself back under control.

He had just managed to get his breathing evened out when he heard tires crunching on gravel out front and the rumble of a diesel engine. He rubbed his eyes and cheeks, trying to make sure no tears remained. 

“Gabe!” he called out when he heard a car door open and shut. Jack didn’t want Gabriel knocking on the front door or ringing the doorbell. There was a small pause before the sound of feet on gravel got closer.

Jack watched Gabriel struggle a bit with the shitty gate. It finally swung open when he lifted it, allowing him to head straight for Jack. It was dark outside, the only light coming from the back door which was probably thirty feet away from where Jack was sitting. He could just barely make out Gabriel’s features as he stood over him, hands in the pockets of the hoodie he was wearing.

“You didn’t have to come,” Jack said, horrified to realize he wasn’t nearly as in control as he hoped. He could feel the tears threatening to spill again.

Gabriel slowly crouched down, grabbing the pack of cigarettes and the lighter. His whole face was illuminated for a moment when he lit one up only for both of them to be plunged once more into darkness as he flicked the lighter off. Gabriel took a drag and then coughed. “Oh, Christ. These are bad.”

Jack laughed weakly. “Yeah, they’re his...”

Gabriel let out a sound of disgust and stubbed out the barely smoked cigarette. “So...what happened?”

Slowly, haltingly, he told Gabriel everything. It really wasn’t much in the retelling, the entire thing had probably taken less than five minutes, but the fuse didn’t have to be long for an explosion to be devastating. 

When he was done, Jack was shivering again, chest hitching as he tried to hold back sobs. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. He’s a fucking cancer patient and I was screaming in his face!”

“He’s a monster,” said Gabriel without sympathy, still crouched down on the balls of his feet in front of Jack. 

“He’s  _ sick _ !”

“So? Being sick doesn’t make him less of a monster, it doesn’t mitigate his sins!”

“God, Gabriel.” Jack hid his face in his hands. “I don’t want to be this kind of person. I want to be better!”

“Jack.”

Jack let out a sound of shock as Gabriel straddled his lap and pulled his hands off his face, forcing their eyes to meet. He was so distracted by Gabriel’s weight, his warmth, that it took a moment to realize he was being talked to.

“—would not believe.”

“Huh?” Jack blinked up at Gabriel.

Gabriel smiled wryly and let go of Jack’s wrists, putting his hands on his shoulders. “I  _ said _ I spent so much time daydreaming about this exact situation, you would not believe.”

Jack sniffed. “About me crying in my backyard?” 

“No, about you standing up to your father.” Gabriel said. He got a wistful look in his eyes. “Of course, back then I’d dream you’d run into my arms and we’d fuck on my beanbag chair.”

“Gabriel!” Jack let out a startled little laugh despite the tears. “Maybe not losing my virginity in a  _ bean bag chair _ was a bullet dodged.” He rubbed the heel of his palm against his eye. “Why are you doing this?”

“I don’t know.” It was hardly the answer Jack would have liked. “But... it just felt right to come over. You called  _ me _ and not Ana for a reason.”

“My finger slipped,” Jack muttered.

“Right,” Gabriel said, brushing it off. “Look, since you showed up I’ve been fighting against what I wanted for what I  _ thought _ I should want. Being angry, holding a grudge... but last night... it all seemed so  _ stupid _ .” His face scrunched up for a moment, he wasn’t looking directly at Jack, as if he was half talking to himself. Gabriel took a deep breath and cupped Jack’s cheek. “I’m not saying we’re in a perfect place, but I’ve  _ always _ been weak to those tears of yours,  _ pollito _ .”

Jack’s breath hitched, hands falling to Gabriel’s hips. Slowly, Jack leaned back until he was laying in the grass, Gabriel’s hands on either side of his head as he loomed over Jack in the dark. “You don’t think I’m a monster?”

“No... not for this, never for this, Jack,” said Gabriel fiercely. “Wish you’d done it sooner, but better late than never.”

“You just wish that because you wanted to fool around in a beanbag chair,” Jack said softly.

“I wanted you to be happy.” Gabriel shifted his weight to one hand so he could stroke the back of his fingers along Jack’s cheek. “You think there’s a point of no return for happiness?”

“ _ No _ ,” said Jack empathetically, leaning into the gentle touch. “Not anymore.”

“Then it’s not too late.”

They stared at each other. Jack parted his lips; they felt dry even as he licked them, hands squeezing Gabriel’s hips. He leaned up as Gabriel bent down. The kiss was shallow, but it lingered for a moment. Jack could taste the cigarette on Gabriel’s lips and feel the breath from his nose where it was pressed against him. It was warm and soft like sinking into a pile of blankets on a cold night. Jack thought he might feel ecstatic, but kissing Gabriel was more like the gentle relief of finally getting where you belonged.

Gabriel slowly pulled away but rested their foreheads together instead of sitting up. “Damn,” he whispered.

“Yeah,” Jack breathed. He slid his hands up a little, fingers dipping under Gabriel’s shirt and hoodie to just brush over the naked skin of his waist. “No beanbag required.”

Gabriel laughed under his breath. “Shut it. You feeling better?”

“I don’t know,” Jack said, eyes running over Gabriel’s face in the dark, trying to memorize how he looked in this moment. “Whenever  _ I _ thought about doing this, I planned on storming out and never talking to him again, but I have to go back. I have to keep caring for him.”

“You don’t have to keep hiding, either,” Gabriel whispered. “And it doesn’t matter how he feels about it.”

“I guess.” Jack gave Gabriel’s waist a small squeeze and leaned up, daring to give him another soft kiss. “What are we calling this?”

Gabriel propped himself up by his elbows, covering Jack with his body before drawing him into more kisses. More than just chaste presses of their lips, there was the barest of movement, the slight tease of their tongues. Nothing too deep, but with the promise that they could get there. “Let’s not... label it right now, alright?” 

“Alright.” Jack felt a tear slide from the corner of his eye but Gabriel kissed it away before it could drip down his temple. 

Considering how they’d started, Jack never would have expected this. Laying out here in the night, arms around each other as they kissed slowly. Jack had imagined the fights or the hard crush of lips as they desperately tried to make up for lost time. This was neither of those things and it was better than his wildest imagination. It was reality. It was the taste of nicotine, it was Gabriel’s weight on his hips. It was soft breath and the brush of their noses and Gabriel’s beard against his skin as stars shone above them, a splatter of brilliance across the night sky that neither of them were paying any attention to.

Jack lost track of time and space and meaning. Eventually he pulled back and turned his head away when Gabriel tried to draw him into more kisses. 

“I need to get back in there, put him to bed.”

“Hmph.” Gabriel kissed the corner of Jack’s lips and pushed himself up, brushing grass off his knees. “You really are a better man than that asshole deserves.” He held out his hand for Jack.

Jack took it, hoping he wasn’t covered in grass stains as he brushed himself off all over. He drew Gabriel into a tight hug, cheek against his shoulder as Gabriel’s arms folded him up and held him close. Everything was so perfect tonight Jack had to wonder if he was dreaming it all. That he’d never yelled at his father, that Gabriel hadn’t come over. 

“Thank you,” he whispered. “For coming over here, for giving me another chance. I’m going to work hard to be worth it, I swear.”

Gabriel frowned, brows furrowing a bit as if Jack had said something wrong. Panic lanced through him but the look disappeared as soon as it had come, so fast that Jack wondered if he’d imagined it. “I don’t think I should go in there with you tonight, should I?”

“Probably not. Things are going to be bad enough as they are.” Jack wasn’t sure how things were going to go from here, but he imagined John wasn’t going to do a one-eighty and suddenly become a loving and accepting father. “But... I’ll see you Friday?”

“Yeah, bright and early.”

Jack let him go, shutting the gate behind him and waving as he got back into his old diesel, which started with a rumble before backing out of the gravel driveway. Once Gabriel was gone, he wearily stepped back into the house to see his father had fallen asleep in his chair while he was outside. Thank God. Jack got him ready for bed, John slipping in and out, grumbling and swearing under his breath now and again.

He wasn’t very aware of what was going on and Jack was just glad he didn’t have to keep fighting tonight. No doubt they’d fight more later; there was no putting the cat back in the bag this time. 

Once John was in bed, Jack went to his room and more or less collapsed over his bedroll. He still could hardly believe he’d kissed Gabriel tonight. Jack bit down on his bottom lip, grinning as he covered his face with his hands.

_ He loved him he loved him he loved him. _

Jack would work twice as hard to be worthy of Gabriel’s time, maybe someday be worthy of his love. Despite how his eyes itched from crying and the hardness of the floor, he fell asleep with a smile on his face. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack gets some

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fic finally really earns its rating, hooray!
> 
> Big thanks to my beta Airafleeza
> 
> Tumblr: [ohgodsalazarwhy](https://ohgodsalazarwhy.tumblr.com/)  
> Twitter:[ NoviceSalazar](https://twitter.com/NoviceSalazar)

Jack told Zenyatta about his argument with his father and how coming out felt completely out of his control. He explained how it felt like a dam had broken inside him and years of rage had poured out all at once. It was close to running over regardless, but hearing John bad mouth his friends had been the final crack that had broken the entire thing.

Then, haltingly, he told him about Gabriel coming over. Their kiss. The foreign feeling of hope that seemed to sit in his chest like a little sun always radiating warmth. 

“I just want...” Jack groaned and twisted to shift the rake through the little sand garden on the nearby table. He’d taken to messing with it when he couldn’t handle looking at Zenyatta while speaking. “I just want to be worthy of him.”

“Worthy?” Zenyatta asked quietly. “Why would you not be worthy now?”

Jack snorted and started to smooth the lines out of the sand. “I’m a  _ mess _ . I just screamed at a cancer patient, I ran away all those years ago. Sometimes I still think about running... I’m not worth loving, but I  _ want _ to be. Isn’t that the point of all this?”

“Jack,” Zenyatta’s voice was so gentle that Jack glanced over at him, flinching at the look of... pity—sympathy?—on his face. “Every person is  _ worthy _ of love. You are just as worthy of being loved today as you were yesterday and will be tomorrow.”

Jack scoffed. "What?" 

“If that’s the impression you got from these sessions then I have done wrong by you, and I apologize,” Zenyatta said so sincerely that Jack felt bad about it. “Love is not a prize to be won. You are not coming here so you can win the most love by being the most worth it at the fair. Love is a gift, and it is freely given. If someone is giving you love then you should not return it for fear you’re not good enough to receive it.”

The terrifying idea of being worthy of love, even now, made Jack want to fight against Zenyatta's logic. “But what if... what if it’s a waste? What if someone else could use it more?” 

“Love is also not a finite resource,” said Zenyatta patiently. “You are worthy of being loved just by being Jack Morrison. It is not up to you how others feel. These sessions help  _ you _ feel better about yourself. Changing bad habits that hurt others will certainly make it  _ easier _ for more people to know you and love you for who you are, but that does not mean the person you are now is somehow  _ unworthy _ . I hope you can let yourself accept and cherish the gifts the people around you want to give. 

If Gabriel sees you as you are now and loves you in whatever way he chooses, then the only thing you can control is how you accept it. But do not turn it away because you feel it is not yours to take. If being loved is what you want, then take the gifts you are being given. Do not keep people at arm’s length until you decide you are good enough. You are good enough  _ now _ . You always have been.”

Jack was quiet as he grit his teeth and swallowed hard. “You are…  _ impossible _ to argue with, you know that?”

Zenyatta smiled softly. “I have been told that, yes.”

Jack was still mulling over his desire to be worthy when he left the building. He kept asking himself what  _ was _ worthy? At what point would he decide he could be loved guilt-free? Jack slid into his car and headed to St. Joseph’s Cemetery, stopping along the way to get a bouquet of bright flowers he thought Ms. Reyes would like.

Gabriel was sitting on the trunk of his car smoking a cigarette as Jack parked. He had on a pair of slacks with a red button-down shirt tucked into them. Feeling underdressed in jeans and a t-shirt, Jack stepped out with the flowers and Gabriel gave him a small smile as he slid off the trunk and walked over to him. “Oh, she’ll love those.”

“I thought so,” Jack said, looking Gabriel up and down pointedly.

“I like to dress up when I visit her,” Gabriel muttered, scratching through the hair on his chin. He almost looked self-conscious about it. “Show her I’m doing good.”

Jack reached down to take Gabriel’s hand and give it a small squeeze. “You look very handsome and successful.”

“Good. She can never know the truth.”

Jack laughed. “The truth that she raised an amazing man?”

“Shut up, Morrison.” 

Gabriel kept his grip on Jack’s hand as they walked through the front gates, down a meandering path. The cemetery was very well cared for, the grass cut short and the graves evenly spaced. Jack ran his thumb along the back of Gabriel’s hand as they strolled past rows and rows of headstones.

Gabriel finally turned onto the grassy field, walking to a simple headstone that was set into the ground, the grass carefully trimmed so no part of it was unreadable. Jack slowly sank down to his knees, placing his flowers beside the headstone.

_ Gloria Reyes _

_ Romans 14:8 _

Jack placed his hand on the grass as Gabriel sat down beside him. The sun beamed down upon them and there was a slight breeze. The chill of the morning hadn't burned off just yet. 

“There was so much I wanted to say to her,” Jack whispered, sniffing and reaching up to wipe away a few errant tears.

“You can still say it,” said Gabriel quietly.

Jack took in a shuddering breath and let it all out slowly, covering Gabriel’s hand with his. “Ms. Reyes, it’s Jack. I’m sorry I disappeared. I wish I could have... been there. You were like my Mom too, you fed me, clothed me, loved me. I don’t know if I would have survived if it weren’t for you. I wonder if things would have been different if I didn’t hide so many things from you, if I was honest about my... situation. I know you like colorful things so I hope these flowers are—” Jack grit his teeth, cutting himself off as the tears threatened to overwhelm him. “It’s not fair,” he whispered.

“I know,  _ pollito _ , I know.”

Gabriel rested his head on Jack’s shoulder as they sat by her grave listening to the wind rustle the grass. In the distance he could hear other visitors laughing. He wasn’t sure how long they’d been sitting when Jack finally took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes.

“Thank you for letting me come out here.”

“Even if I hated you I wouldn’t keep you from visiting her,” said Gabriel, getting to his feet and bending down to help Jack up. He pulled Jack into a hug, burying his face against his throat. “I know how much she meant to you... and it was nice to be here with you. I think she would have been really happy.”

Jack rested one hand on Gabriel’s lower back while the other cupped the back of his neck. “Yeah, she was one of a kind.”

They walked hand-in-hand back to the parking lot. Jack wondered if this was it, if Gabriel was going to say goodbye and if they’d go their separate ways. 

"Come on." Gabriel tugged Jack towards his car, “Leave your car here for today.”

“It’s not going to get towed, is it?” Jack asked, even as he felt a flash of joy that this day wasn’t over just yet. He let go of Gabriel to move to the passenger side.

“Nah, it’s fine.”

“Haven’t been in here since, uh—” 

“Since you were falling down drunk, I remember.” Gabriel smirked at Jack as he buckled up in the passenger seat. “Just glad you didn’t vomit.”

“There’s still time.”

“Not if you ever want in this car again.”

Jack laughed and looked out the window as Gabriel started to drive. This reminded him of the long drives they used to take together after Gabriel got his license, the windows of Ms. Reyes’ minivan rolled down while they belted out whatever rock song played on the radio. “So, where are you taking me?” 

“Home.”

After spending so long pushing at the immovable force that was Gabriel, suddenly it seemed like he was pitching face-first into the dirt as that immovable force suddenly slid back without warning. But it hadn’t really been like that, had it? Jack had been managing tiny bits of progress each time they met, each time he hung out with Jesse or Ana

Now Gabriel was letting him into his life, his home. All those years of thinking it was too late, that he’d lost everything... and all he’d had to do was come back and  _ try _ ? Jack felt so stupid for wasting all these years. No more; he wasn’t going to waste another moment.

Gabriel pulled into an alley downtown and parked only a few blocks away from the corner store, actually. Jack stepped out and Gabriel locked the car before heading up the wrought iron stairs of the fire escape. 

“Why the back way?” Jack asked as he followed him up, passing over other people’s balconies along the way.

“I’ve got a really nosy neighbor,” Gabriel said, getting to the third floor and opening the window, struggling just a bit before he straddled the sill and then slid the rest of the way in.

Jack gasped as he ducked through the window after him. “Wouldn’t want them knowing you’ve got a paramore over.” 

“It would destroy my reputation!” Gabriel said dramatically, walking out of the room. 

Jack lingered. This was some kind of cobbled together studio space where Gabriel was obviously recording music. The walls were lined with black pads; there was a microphone hooked up to a closed laptop. A keyboard, a guitar, drums, and a  _ trumpet _ of all things were all sitting around just waiting to be played. Seeing all this brought Jack a feeling of warmth. 

He was heading over to check out the guitar when Gabriel poked his head back in. “Quit snooping!”

“Sorry.” Jack moved away from the guitar and left the makeshift studio. “You still record songs?”

“Yeah.” Gabriel shut the door behind Jack, backing him up against it. “Are you going to be able to keep from getting into all my stuff?” he asked, voice pitched low.

“No,” said Jack.

Gabriel held his gaze for a moment. “Never let it be said Jack Morrison is a liar.” 

Jack wondered if he was nervous about inviting Jack in; he must have thought it came with some risk because Gabriel seemed a bit stiff. 

Jack reached up to smooth his hands over the front of Gabriel’s nice shirt. “Relax. This doesn’t have to be anymore than you want it to be.”

“Moving at my pace, huh?” Gabriel’s eyes slid down Jack’s face and lingered on his lips. Jack licked them slowly, fingers curling in the front of Gabriel’s shirt.

“Won’t snoop if you keep me too busy.”

Gabriel leaned in and gave him a shallow, lingering kiss. “Behave while I change out of these clothes. Don’t snoop.”

“Just a little snooping,” Jack whispered, leaning in for another kiss. It kind of felt like they were picking up where they left off. Gabriel had such a remarkable quality of being easy for Jack to talk to. Even after the explosion of emotions that had been their first meeting—even after decades apart— Jack just felt comfortable around him.

“You’re terrible, Morrison.” Gabriel nipped his bottom lip then pulled away, brushing Jack’s hands off his shirt. He was grinning as he walked into another door and shut it behind him, leaving Jack alone in his living room. 

The apartment wasn’t huge, but it was a decent size for one man living alone. Two bedrooms, a living room with a couch that looked its age. Beside it was—God—a sad, flattened beanbag chair. Jack made a mental note to tease Gabriel about that.

The kitchen was open with a bar that had a couple stools tucked under it so people could sit while someone in the kitchen worked. The front door was locked with a bolt and latched with a chain; a few pieces of mail sat on the floor under the slot in the door. Jack wandered around the couch to look at some of the knickknacks on Gabriel’s entertainment center. It was mostly just a table with the TV mounted to the wall above it. He had a lot of DVDs for action movies—some things really didn’t change—and a few pictures framed.

Gabriel spoke just as Jack was reaching for one of the pictures. “Hey, I said no snooping.”

Jack turned around quickly, hands clasped behind his back. “Is it snooping if you leave it out for everyone to see?” Gabriel had changed into sweats and a t-shirt which was a bit small on him, stretching tightly around his broad chest and riding up a bit on his stomach. Jack’s train of thought was instantly and violently derailed as he stared at the thick black treasure trail that led into the brim of Gabriel’s sweats.

“I see you still haven’t learned how to hide what you’re thinking,” Gabriel said, walking over and giving Jack a nudge with his shoulder as he walked past to get to the kitchen.

“Are you doing this to me on purpose?” Jack asked, staring shamelessly at the way Gabriel’s sweats hugged his round ass.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. You hungry?”

“I could eat.” Jack sat on one of the stools, elbows resting on the counter as he watched Gabriel start to gather up ingredients. He’d recognize this assortment anywhere: Enchiladas: a Ms. Reyes' favorite. Both Jack and Gabe loved them growing up, and Ms. Reyes could freeze the leftovers to defrost on days when she was too busy to cook.

Jack just watched Gabriel work for a moment. He chopped up an onion and started cooking ground beef on the stove. Then he slid a block of cheddar and a grater over the counter towards Jack. “Make yourself useful.”

Jack smiled and started to grate cheese; they’d need plenty of it. “We used to help your mom make these, just like this.”

“And we’d fight over who grated the cheese because we both hated it,” Gabriel said, dumping the onions into the grease of the meat and getting them to sweat. As soon as he started adding spices, Jack started to salivate a bit, swallowing and licking his lips as he grated cheese until there was a big pile for Gabriel to pull from. While the meat simmered, Gabriel pulled some jalapeños out of the fridge before oiling up a glass casserole dish and pouring a can of enchilada sauce inside.

They fell into the rhythm easily; Jack would pull out a corn tortilla, Gabriel would spoon in a layer of beans and meat, then Jack would sprinkle on the cheese and jalapeños before rolling it up and tucking it down into the dish before grabbing another tortilla. Following Reyes tradition, they made far more than two men could eat in one day.

Once all the enchiladas were packed into the dish, Gabriel coated them with more enchilada sauce and Jack sprinkled the last of the cheese over the top. They worked well together, falling into each other's motions like they’d never been away from each other. Once the dish was covered in tinfoil it was slid into the oven and all they had to do was wait.

“Thanks, Gabriel,” Jack said as he rested his elbows on the counter, leaning against it with one foot crossed over the other. 

“Well... thought you might like them.” Gabriel moved over, placing his hands on the counter on either side of Jack so he was boxed in. Not that he minded. “You know what I hate?”

“What?” Jack asked a little nervously, his brain hardwired to jump to the worst case scenario in half a second.

“How easy this is,” Gabriel said shortly. “How you’ve been gone all these years then come waltzing back in, just as charming and handsome as the day you left. And how the moment I decide to stop forcing myself to hate you, it’s so easy to be with you.”

Jack had no idea what to say to that. He had to fight the self-sabotaging urge to fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness. He hadn’t meant to upend anyone’s life, but it stood to reason that there was no other option after twenty-five years. 

Gabriel wasn’t wrong, though. It was so easy. So much easier than Jack had ever dared to imagine. Being with Gabriel was as easy as breathing, their sense of humor and personalities developed side-by-side. You could build up as much as you wanted on a foundation, but that didn’t change how you laid your stones.

“I’m... sorry?” he tried.

Gabriel reached up, thumb brushing over Jack’s cheek as he seemed to search his eyes for something. “When I went out to dinner with you, I told myself I wouldn’t ever let you get  _ too _ close, did you know that?”

“You were pretty, uh, cold, at the start there,” Jack muttered, leaning into Gabriel’s touch like a plant reaching for the sun.

“You’re just so fucking impossible to hate. You always have been. I told myself you weren’t the same man, you were a stranger to me... but you’re not." Gabriel sighed. "You’re really not.”

“You’re no stranger either, Gabriel,” said Jack softly, turning his head to kiss Gabriel’s palm. As much as Gabriel liked to paint himself as an angry jerk, Jack could see right through it. Still the same man underneath, the one with a real big heart who cared so deeply he took everyone's wounds as his own. The one who could pick up almost any instrument, the one who befriended a sad little boy on a playground and gave him more than he deserved.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

Before Jack could ask what he meant, Gabriel was cupping the back of his neck and kissing him. Pulling back to ask questions seemed less important when Jack would much rather part his lips and let Gabriel’s tongue slide into his mouth. Jack groaned softly as he sucked on Gabriel’s tongue, hands sliding over his chest then around to wrap him up in a hug and haul him flush against his body. 

Jack pulled away after a moment, breathing a little harder. “Wait—wait... counter is digging into my back, can we move this?”

“So high maintenance,” Gabriel sighed, stepping back and yanking Jack along with his hands clenched in the front of his shirt. They stumbled their way out of the kitchen and back into the living room, Gabriel kissing him hungrily the entire time. Jack thought he might be in heaven.

“ _ Not _ the beanbag chair,” Jack said quickly when it looked like Gabriel might push him down onto it.

Gabriel laughed and together they fell onto the couch, Jack sprawled out over his chest. “You’re no fun.”

“If you think that I can leave...” Jack made to get up but laughed as Gabriel hauled him down into more kisses.

The kisses went from playful to hungry in record time, Jack groaning as Gabriel cupped the back of his neck and held him close to devour his mouth. He worked hard to keep up, tongue pressing along Gabriel’s, teeth grazing his lips, noses brushing. The room was filled with the sloppy wet sounds of their lips locking again and again.

“Goddamn,” Gabriel panted, hiking his thigh up between Jack’s legs.

“ _ Fuck _ !” Jack moaned, grinding against Gabriel’s leg, cock half hard and getting harder as Gabriel kissed him until their lips were sore. 

Jack pulled back for a breath, hands resting on Gabriel’s chest to hold himself up enough to stare down at his face. Jack had never met a more handsome man, only made better with the salt-and-pepper streaks in his black beard.

“Get back down here,” Gabriel growled, hauling Jack down and starting to kiss and suck at his neck. He bit just under Jack’s ear, pulling an embarrassing whine out of him as he turned his head to let Gabriel do as he pleased to him. His eyes traced over the scattered DVDs and pictures under the TV. There was one of Gabriel with Jesse, Sombra, and Genji at a lake. Sombra didn’t look happy about it. Another featured Gabriel playing the guitar with a woman sitting beside him listening. Gabriel at his wedding.

Wait.

Jack jerked up, Gabriel protesting and trying to drag him back down. Normally Jack would move heaven and Earth to be in this exact position, but he couldn’t stop staring at the picture of Gabriel in a fine tuxedo with a petite, dark skinned woman on his arm. She was wearing a flowing white wedding gown and smiling at whoever was taking the picture. Gabriel was looking at her with adoration.

“Jack—” Gabriel sounded annoyed, but he must have followed Jack’s gaze because he let out a long sigh and quit trying to yank him back down. 

Jesse hadn’t been lying to him; Gabriel had a wife. Or had  _ had _ a wife because he clearly lived alone and wasn’t wearing a wedding ring now. 

“When... who...” Jack got up and grabbed the picture to get a closer look at it. It hit home that Gabriel had been extremely close-lipped about his past, though this picture was hardly hidden. Twenty-five years... he’d missed twenty-five years, and in that time Gabriel had been  _ married _ .

Gabriel sat up with a groan, rubbing his fingers over his forehead. “Met her in college. Married her right after graduation. Moved to Indianapolis. Fought like cats and dogs for five years. Divorced. Moved back here.”

“You were married for  _ five years _ ?”

“Yeah,” Gabriel snapped. He stood up and grabbed the picture out of Jack’s hands to sharply set it face-down on the table. “And before you give me that wounded  _ why-didn’t-you-tell _ -me look,  _ when _ would I have told you?”

“Jesse said... I thought he was just messing with me,” Jack said, still feeling a bit dazed.

Gabriel watched him critically. “This bother you that much? That I moved on with my life and didn’t sit here twiddling my thumbs waiting for you to come back?”

Jack grabbed Gabriel’s hand and held it tightly. “No! It’s not that. I’d never expect you to just wait around like that. I guess… it’s a shock is all. A reminder of how much I missed.”

Gabriel relaxed a little; he’d clearly been gearing up for a fight. Jack didn’t want to fight, he never wanted to come to blows with Gabriel again. All he wanted was to be let into his life, and that included his past. No matter how shocking it was to him. 

Gabriel’s voice was quiet when he said, “I guess I should have... come out and said something when we came inside. I didn’t exactly hide the picture.”

“I don’t want you to hide things from me.” Jack reached up to cup his cheek, finding comfort in the way Gabriel leaned into him. “I’m sorry if I made you feel like you had to.”

“There’s just... things in my past I’m not proud of,” Gabriel murmured, turning his head to nuzzle into Jack’s palm. 

“I have stuff like that too.” Jack drew Gabriel back to the couch and pushed him down again so he could stretch out over top of him like a cat. He smiled a bit as Gabriel grumbled, but it sounded like a front to hide how much he liked it.

“I thought it was all daring adventures and travel for you,” Gabriel said, hands resting on Jack’s hips.

“Not quite.” Jack kissed Gabriel softly, hands brushing over his closely shaved head. 

“Later,” Gabriel murmured into the kiss. “Let’s not ruin today with more serious crap. Actually—” He sat up and pushed Jack off of him so he could get off the couch. “I said I’d sing you something. I wrote a song about you, you know.”

“You did?” Jack tried not to be  _ too _ excited about it. Gabriel had written a lot of songs for him when they were young. Absolutely terrible ones about how no one understood them and they were the only smart people in the world—that sort of tripe. Jack, of course, had loved them more than almost anything in the world.

Gabriel walked into his recording room and came back out with his guitar, sitting down beside Jack as he tuned the strings by ear. He held the guitar like it was a part of him, fingers curling along each string as he played his chords to test his tuning. When it was tuned to his liking, Gabriel cleared his throat, eyes slipping shut as he played a gentle melody and began to sing. His voice was deeper and a little huskier than it had been all those years ago.

_ I knew a boy when I was young _

_ His smile lit up like the sun _

_ With eyes as blue as summer rain _

_ He stole my heart but I’m to blame _

_ Run boy run _

_ I had no choice but to let you go _

_ Run boy run _

_ You took my heart with you when you left _

_ I wondered where that boy had run _

_ But life goes on and I’m not done _

_ A heartless man I may be _

_ But at least I hadn’t run from me _

_ Run boy run _

_ You can never escape your shadow _

_ Run boy run _

_ You’re stuck with who you’re meant to be _

_ Run boy run _

Jack didn’t know what to say as Gabriel’s melody tapered off into silence. He held his hand over the strings to silence them completely and turned to look at Jack expectantly.

How did you react to a song that sank its fingers so far into his heart? He felt a fresh wave of guilt. 

“That... .you’ve improved a lot since I last heard you,” was what Jack ultimately settled on. All he could do was pick up the pieces and hope it was enough. “I’m sorry,” he added on quietly, glancing down at his hands.

"I didn’t sing it to make you feel bad, Jack," Gabriel sighed and set his guitar to the side, leaning it up against the couch. “I wrote that song... maybe ten years ago. You’d already been gone fifteen and I still couldn’t get you off my mind. I wrote this to try and let you go.”

“Did it work?” Jack shifted in close and leaned against Gabriel. No matter the circumstances under which that song had been written, they were here now. 

“If it worked, I probably wouldn’t have tried to tear your head clean off your shoulders.”

“I couldn’t forget you either, Gabriel.” Jack kissed his shoulder and took his hand in both of his.

“As with everything you’ve ever felt and thought, Jack, that was obvious.” 

“I think I’ve gotten a  _ little _ better at hiding my feelings.” Jack pushed Gabriel over to kiss him properly.

“Not to me.”

“What am I thinking  _ right now _ ?” Jack asked, voice a bit muffled against Gabriel’s lips.

“How much you want me to fuck you in that beanbag chair.”

Jack jerked up, turning bright red to the tips of his ears. “What?!”

Gabriel burst into laughter, true honest laughter that started in his stomach and roared out of his mouth until there were tears in the corners of his eyes. “The look on your face!”

Jack punched him on the shoulder. “At least put new beans in it!” It was hard not to smile when Gabriel’s eyes were crinkling up in the corners like that, his lips pulled back in a wide grin. He was so handsome it made Jack’s heart ache.

“Oh?” Gabriel rumbled, hands gripping Jack’s hips and giving them a squeeze. “I can get new beans.”

Jack sighed affectionately. “Maybe our first time could be in a bed, though.”

It hit him out of nowhere that he was here, laying over Gabriel laughing and joking with him like he’d never left. There was something real between them, something so powerful that time and distance had not been able to quench it. 

“Not how I’d pictured it but... alright.” Gabriel hauled him down for more kisses, taking them so deep and hard that Jack could do little more than part his lips and let Gabriel do as he pleased. He groaned, grinding against his thigh as heat washed through him, wave after wave like the tide inching up a beach until he was burning up from the inside out.

Jack would have forgone the bed entirely and let Gabriel fuck him on the couch if the timer on the oven hadn’t started to beep. He reluctantly pulled away, sitting up so Gabriel could go pull the tinfoil off the enchiladas. He set the timer for another fifteen minutes. Not quite enough time to fuck. 

_ God _ . Jack was going to sleep with  _ Gabriel _ , the man he’d been dreaming of for his entire life.

“You really want this?” Jack tried to stop himself from asking but it slipped out anyway. He wanted to  _ hear _ Gabriel say it.

“Against my better judgement...” Gabriel trailed off as he sat down beside Jack, who was still stretched out on the couch. He must have seen something in his expression because he sighed and said seriously, “I want this. You. I want to try again.”

The self-sabotaging voice in Jack’s head told him it was too good to be true, that Gabriel was playing a game with him or he’d get bored. 

_ Don’t let Gabriel get to your heart because he’ll break it in a way that can never be fixed. _

Jack wrapped his arms around Gabriel’s waist, head resting on his thigh. Maybe he was dreaming, or maybe that voice was true, but it would be as good as a prophecy if he listened to it. The best he could do was ignore it.

“So, uh, tell me about that picture,” Jack said, pointing to the picture of Gabriel with Jesse, Genji, and Sombra at a lake. 

Gabriel rested his hand on Jack’s head, fingers playing through his hair. “You don’t want to make out some more?” 

“I don’t want to eat dinner with an erection,” Jack said, grinning as Gabriel’s hand moved to cover his eyes.

“That picture was taken probably about a year after Jesse and Sombra showed up here. I thought it might be a good idea to get out of town and enjoy some nature. Jesse loved it, already knew how to catch and gut a fish for frying. Genji was kind of enamoured by Jesse, I think. They spent the whole trip glued together while Jesse talked about lures and fish and blah blah bah.” Gabriel took his hand off Jack’s eyes to use it to pantomime talking.

“And Sombra?”

“I managed to drag her out of the car for this picture and this picture alone.”

Jack laughed. “They look young here. Even younger than they do now.”

“Jesse had just turned eighteen. Sombra is a year or two younger than him but hell if I know her exact age. You know her—secrets wrapped up in enigmas. And Genji was 16.”

“How old was he when you took him in?” Jack asked quietly, just enjoying the way Gabriel was idly combing his fingers through his hair.

“About fourteen,” Gabriel sighed. “Then about a year after I took him in, this seventeen-year-old kid and what I thought was his girlfriend show up in town. I guess I figured I already had one street kid, might as well pick up a couple more.”

“Did they all live with you  _ here _ ?”

“Yeah, Jesse and Genji shared my bedroom. I made up a room for Sombra in what is now my music room. I slept on the couch.”

“Jesus Christ.” Jack sat up a bit to look at Gabriel. “You’re a saint.”

“I’m not a saint,” Gabriel said emphatically. “I wasn’t exactly teaching them to be model citizens. I barely tried to send them to school— _ none _ of them even graduated high school.”

“And yet despite all that you raised three empathetic and smart young adults,” Jack murmured, laying his head back in Gabriel’s lap. “You couldn’t have messed them up too bad.”

“Yeah I... I guess,” Gabriel said slowly like that was the first time he’d considered it. Maybe he’d been too focused on all the ways he’d done wrong by them he never saw all the ways he’d done right.

“They’ve all moved out, Genji’s got a respectable job he likes. Jesse’s a hard worker and so is Sombra—in her own way.” Jack smiled at him. “I keep trying to get Jesse to think about work but he’s stubborn about… whatever he’s hiding from.”

“He needs to stay under the radar,” said Gabriel softly. “It’s safer that way. Sombra makes enough money to keep them both in their apartment.”

“I’m willing to go out on a limb and say she’s not making legitimate money.”

“I haven’t asked for the details but... that’s a pretty sturdy limb to go out on.” Gabriel sighed, hand resting on Jack’s forehead as he looked down at him. “I just don’t want to encourage him to do something and see him get hurt.”

Jack sat up so he could look Gabriel in the eye. “If I knew what he was running from, I could help.”

“It’s not for me to say. When he told me, I  _ promised _ I wouldn’t tell anyone else.”

On one hand Jack found Gabriel’s loyalty admirable; there was clearly a reason why Jesse looked up to him. On the other hand, it was frustrating to be kept out of what was obviously important information. 

“I’ve tried asking Jesse but he won’t tell me.”

“It’s something he’s not proud of. And I think he believes saying nothing will keep you from getting hurt.”

“So he’s actively in danger right now?” Jack asked sharply.

“ _ No _ ! Well... he could be if...” Gabriel shook his head like a dog trying to get water out of his ears. “Jack, just drop it”

“Fine,” he said, “but the second that danger becomes active, I want you to tell me everything.”

Gabriel was quiet for a moment, clearly thinking it over. Weighing his promise to Jesse against the prospect of him getting hurt. 

“Alright,” he finally said. “If something happens where I think anyone is in active danger, I’ll tell you.”

“Thank you.” Jack kissed him and let the subject drop. For now.

The oven timer chimed and Gabriel got back up, Jack trailing after him into the kitchen to watch him pull the enchiladas out of the oven. They looked divine. Ms. Reyes had made them wait five minutes for them to cool off, but Gabriel was on the same page he was as he handed Jack a plate and they served themselves immediately. Jack liked his smothered in sour cream while Gabriel spread some green chilis over the top.

“So... Ana invited me to dinner with her and Fareeha,” Gabriel said as he ate, both of them just standing in the kitchen. “But I’m sure if you wanted to go—”

“What? She invited me too.” Jack paused with a bite halfway to his mouth and then snorted when he realized what she’d done. “I guess she was deciding if we weren’t going to be in a room together on our own she’d force the point.”

“That could have been a very awkward dinner.” Gabriel smirked. Eventually he finished his enchiladas off and set the plate in the sink. “Jack, you’re bright red.”

“The jalapeños.” Jack hissed in some air between his teeth. 

No matter how many different kinds of spicy foods he’d eaten, he still turned red and started to sweat. This was something Gabriel had teased him about constantly when they were kids. His first time eating a jalapeño involved Gabriel tricking him into taking a massive bite out of one. Gabriel had laughed so hard he’d nearly thrown up and Ms. Reyes had put him in time out for being mean to Jack. Looking back on it, Jack thought she’d probably been hiding a smile of her own at his reaction. 

Regardless of the burning in his mouth, Jack devoured his food. Gabriel poured him a glass of milk which he gratefully downed. 

Jack set his glass and plate in the sink. “Ah—that’s better.” 

As soon as the dish was out of Jack’s hands, he was being grabbed around the waist and picked up. Gabriel was  _ so _ strong, throwing Jack over his shoulder like he was a sack of potatoes. Jack yelled; he’d gone from staring into the sink to being face-to-ass with Gabriel as he hung over his shoulder.

“Enough foreplay, I want you.” Gabriel smirked, carrying him out of the kitchen.

“ _ God, _ yes,” Jack groaned. 

They’d been on one date... that was enough, right? It wasn’t really just one date, though. It was a childhood of growing together and decades of mutual, if slightly bitter, pining. 

Or maybe he just needed to stop overthinking this and stop treating his relationships like they were vending machines he had to put so many coins into before he deserved something.

Gabriel wanted him and Jack wanted him, too. End of story.

Jack laughed as Gabriel flipped him off his shoulder and onto his unmade bed, bouncing a bit before he scooted back enough to let Gabriel crawl over him. 

“You’re still strong as an ox,” Jack said adoringly as he ran his hands over the muscles in Gabriel’s arms and shoulders.

“You’re not too bad yourself, soldier.” Gabriel pushed Jack’s shirt up to bare his tight, flat stomach. He hadn’t been out of the military long enough to lose his physique, and training every day with Jesse was keeping him fit. “Look at these tits...” Gabriel grabbed his pecs and squeezed,  _ hard _ .

Jack arched with a cry, grabbing Gabriel’s wrists tightly. “Careful!”

“Oh?” Gabriel’s eyes became half-lidded and a smug grin crossed his face. “Someone’s sensitive, aren’t they?”

“Don’t be a bast _ -ARD _ !” Jack yelped as Gabriel pinched his nipples. The worst part was that it was getting him hard. Gabriel was never going to let this go.

“I’m always a bastard, Jackie,” Gabriel smirked, straddling Jack’s hips to grind down against him. “Feels as if you like that about me.”

“I like everything about you,” Jack said breathlessly, yanking his shirt off over his head and tossing it onto the ground. He slid his hands up over Gabriel’s shirt, which did nothing to hide the power in his upper body. Here was a man that delighted in working out to be strong. Jack felt under the shirt, over Gabriel’s skin. Coarse hair trickled down into the brim of his sweats which were starting to tent at the crotch. Jack took pleasure knowing  _ he _ was causing that.

Gabriel pulled the shirt off so Jack could delight in rubbing over his naked chest, tweaking his nipples in revenge for earlier. 

Gabriel gasped and grabbed Jack’s wrists, pinning his hands over his head. “Now who’s a bastard?” he growled right against Jack’s lips.

“I’m innocent,” Jack said, lashes fluttering.

Gabriel laughed, hips rocking so their cocks dragged against each other through their clothing. “A bastard and a liar.”

Jack wriggled out from Gabriel’s grip, wrapping his arms around him so they could kiss. Now their kisses could get as hungry and hot as they wanted, hands stroking over each other. Jack slid his hand past the brim of his sweats. A hot, heavy cock filled his hand as he slipped it into Gabriel’s underwear.

“Big boy,” Jack breathed, stroking Gabriel lazily. He ran his thumb along the tip, grinning as Gabriel moaned and jerked his hips.

“C’mon, Jackie.” Gabriel fumbled open Jack’s jeans. “I want you naked  _ now _ .”

They struggled a bit as they both tried to strip the other, hands and legs getting in the way. Finally Jack was laying naked over the bed with Gabriel sitting over him just as naked. He loved those thick, strong thighs as they straddled his waist, Gabriel’s fat cock laying over his belly. Jack hummed happily, fingers curling around Gabriel’s heavy balls to give them a small squeeze.

Jack grabbed Gabriel’s ass and urged him up until the head of his cock was hanging in his face. “This is so much better than any dreams I’ve had about it.” 

He didn’t waste any time, parting his lips and sucking Gabriel into his mouth. Hot and musky on his tongue, the smell of arousal thick was in his nose.

“God _ damn _ ,” Gabriel moaned, bringing his hands down to Jack’s head as he rolled his hips shallowly. “Like sucking cock, do you, Jackie?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Bet you’ve sucked a lot of them.”

“Mmhmm,” Jack moaned, eyes fluttering shut as heat rushed through him.

“You going to suck any other cock but mine now?” Gabriel sounded a tad breathless, and  _ very _ possessive. Jack’s cock twitched and a bead of precum dripped from the slit.

“Mmnn,” Jack shook his head as best he could without taking Gabriel out of his mouth.

“That’s what I thought.”

They hadn’t named this thing yet, but Jack didn’t  _ want _ anyone else. He never had. People had come in and out of his life as little more than placeholders. It hadn’t been fair to them, but now Jack didn’t need that anymore. He had the real deal arched over him, groaning and shallowly fucking his mouth as his hard cock smeared precum over Jack’s tongue.

Gabriel pulled back before Jack was ready for him to, a string of spit connecting him to Gabriel’s cock before Jack broke it by licking his lips. 

“Come back here.” Jack squeezed Gabriel’s ass and tried to draw him back in.

“No.” Gabriel moved back and drug his cock between Jack’s pecs, hands moving to squeeze and grope at him as he fucked his tits. Jack whimpered and squirmed, one leg bending so he could arch up under Gabriel, cock aching as Gabriel’s endless groping and rubbing and squeezing drove him out of his mind. It was like he was trying to memorize every inch of Jack’s body.

“Alright, roll over,” Gabriel commanded like he was born to bark orders, slipping off Jack’s chest. He probably would have done well in the military. 

Jack obeyed, rolling on his belly and lifting his hips up. When he tried to look over his shoulder to watch, Gabriel grabbed the back of his head and shoved his face into the pillows. “Eyes down.”

“Oh,  _ fuck _ .” Jack clenched his fingers in the sheets. Gabriel had always been demanding; it was nice to see that translated in bed.

Hot, slick fingers rubbed against his asshole for a moment, spreading the lube around before a finger pushed into him. Jack moaned loudly, though it was muffled in the pillows. Gabriel’s other hand stroked over his lower back. 

“When was the last time you were fucked?”

“Ah... uh... a few years,” Jack muttered.

“You’re certainly tight enough,” Gabriel grit out. He crooked his finger; Jack could feel him searching for his prostate, and it didn’t take him too long to find.

“Fuck!” Jack jerked forward over the sheets, hand coming back to grab Gabriel’s wrist. “Oh goddamn, Gabriel! Don’t tease me!”

Gabriel pried Jack’s hand off him and gave his ass a small slap. “Hands to yourself, Jackie. You just relax; I’m going to take care of you.”

Jack brought his hand back to the sheets, holding on tightly to keep himself from grabbing Gabriel again. Calloused fingers worked at his ass while Gabriel made soft little gasps and groans now and again—the kind of sounds that made Jack want to watch him, but he was afraid this would all end if he did. He kept his face buried in the pillow, letting it muffle his own gasps and groans instead.

It really had been too long. It wasn’t just the sex; it was the human connection, the vulnerability of bending over and letting someone do this to him. Gabriel kept gasping and moaning quietly; either he was doing something with his other hand or he was really enjoying fingering Jack open. One finger became two and two became three by the time Jack felt like he was going to go mad. His cock was red and swollen as it bobbed between his thighs, a long clear string of precum dripping onto the bed below.

“I think you’re ready,” Gabriel groaned, finally pulling his fingers out.

The bed shifted as Gabriel moved behind him. Jack heard the sound of a drawer opening then a package being ripped open. A condom. Gabriel pressed the head of his cock against Jack’s hole, very slowly pushing forward. Jack whimpered as he was stretched open bit by bit, Gabriel’s thick cock inching its way into him.

“Don’t come, don’t you fuckin’ dare, I’ve got plans for this cock,” Gabriel growled as he reached under Jack to grab him by the base of his cock and squeeze.

“Okay,” Jack panted. 

He moaned as Gabriel started to roll his hips shallowly, going a little deeper each time. Jack relaxed around him, knowing if he tensed up it would hurt, and God knew he didn’t want this to stop or slow down. Jack  _ needed _ Gabriel; he craved his connection. It was something real. Something that could never be taken away from him.

He teared up a little in the pillow as Gabriel began to speed up, hissing and growling above him as his balls slapped against Jack’s ass. It wasn’t pain; it was emotion. He loved Gabriel so goddamn much and now they were having sex for the first time. It was a memory he could never lose, sensations he would never forget. Jack hoped to God what they had could be built into something long lasting and real.

But if it wasn’t, this would always be his.

“M-more. H-Harder,” Jack begged, knuckles white as he gripped the sheets beside his head.

“That’s what I like to—ah—hear,” Gabriel hissed. He sped up, the room filling with the sound of their skin slapping together and the squeaking of the springs. Gabriel leaned forward, putting his weight on Jack’s back until Jack collapsed under him with a grunt, Gabriel fucking him hard into the mattress as he pinned him flush. Jack’s cock was now trapped under him, rubbing into the sheets as he was fucked. Jack tried to focus on that to keep himself away from the point of no return.

“Gabriel,  _ please _ —!” Jack wailed, unsure of how much longer he could wait.

“I know, Jackie,” Gabriel groaned right into his ear. “Just a little longer, I promise it’s worth your while.”

Gabriel’s hairy chest was pressed up against his back, both of them sweating as they moved together over the mattress. Gabriel was breathing heavily against the back of his neck, moving faster and faster until he cried out and pushed in deep, holding himself there. Jack groaned as he felt Gabriel come, his cock pulsing inside him. He was so goddamn close, but he hadn’t come and he was so hard, so worked up, it nearly hurt.

Gabriel slowly sat up and pulled out of him. He put his hand on Jack’s hip and urged him to roll onto his back. Jack sat up on his elbows to watch him pull off the condom and tie it up before tossing it aside. 

“You’re still hard for me. Good,” Gabriel purred, reaching out to take Jack’s cock in his hand.

Jack quickly grabbed his wrist, chest hitching. “If you don’t want me to come right  _ now, _ don’t touch me.”

“Heh, fine.” Gabriel pulled away while Jack tried to calm down. He watched him pull out another condom, a bit confused until he held it out to him. “Think you can put this on without losing it?”

Jack took the condom, taking several deep breaths before he nodded. He opened it up and slid it down over his cock. “What are you planning?”

Gabriel squirted some lube over his fingers and reached back while making intense eye contact with Jack, clearly fingering himself. “What do you think, Jackie?”

“Oh my  _ God _ .” Jack grabbed Gabriel’s hips as he straddled his lap, hand coming back to grab Jack’s cock and guide it into his hole. “I can’t—” Jack grit his teeth so hard a vein jumped in his temple. He went from barely under control to trembling on the very edge of orgasm as Gabriel sank down on him in one easy slide.

“You can come,” Gabriel said, hands on his chest, pinching and rubbing along his nipples. He bounced on Jack’s cock, staring down at him with a wicked smile. “You were so good for me. Go on, Jackie. You don’t have to hold back.”

“God, you’re so... ah ah ah,  _ fuck _ … so bossy in bed!” Jack arched under Gabriel as his orgasm ripped through him, spilling into the condom as Gabriel’s thick ass pressed against him, hips giving a little wiggle that had Jack’s eyes rolling into the back of his head. 

The heat faded and soon Gabriel’s movement was too much. Jack groaned and urged him up and off his cock. “Enough, enough...” he breathed heavily.

Gabriel pulled off and collapsed beside him, face pressed into Jack’s chest. Both of them were quiet as they tried to catch their breath. Jack ran his hand over Gabriel’s head and down his back. 

“That was...” Jack let out a long breath, cupping the back of Gabriel’s neck. “Amazing.”

“Worth the wait?”

“More than worth it,” Jack said, thumb rubbing along Gabriel’s jaw. He wished there hadn’t been a wait, wished this had happened that night they’d kissed.. 

Thumping and muffled yelling came from the wall. Someone banging on the ceiling, too. 

Gabriel slammed his palm into the wall a couple times. “Shut up!” he yelled. 

The banging stopped but it was pretty clear all of Gabriel’s neighbors didn’t appreciate how loud they’d been. Jack groaned and covered his face with his hands but Gabriel distracted him by pulling his hands away and kissing him.

They stayed in bed for a bit. Jack was in no rush to get up because it meant he’d have to leave soon and go home to John, who hadn’t spoken to him since his outburst. He barely looked him in the eye, clearly furious and unable to do anything about it if he wanted to stay in his own home. Reality eventually seeped through the cracks of their little bubble and Jack pulled off the condom and got up to throw it away. 

They showered together, hands roaming and lips stealing gentle kisses as they cleaned the sweat off their skin. Jack couldn’t stop touching Gabriel, afraid he’d wake up and this would all be a dream. Once they were dried off and dressed, he reluctantly stood by the door waiting for Gabriel to grab his keys. 

“Wish I could stay the night, maybe hear a few more songs,” said Jack as Gabriel came over and kissed him softly.

“I’ll come over tomorrow,” Gabriel said, taking Jack’s hand as he unlocked the front door and opened it so they could step out into the hallway. 

“You shouldn’t, my father is...”

“A piece of shit, and it’s time you stop shouldering this all by yourself. Be honest, how are you feeling?” Gabriel led him down the stairs, someone peeking at them through a barely opened door on the way out. Nosy neighbors indeed.

“I’m... maybe I’m not  _ fine, _ but...” Jack grabbed Gabriel’s wrist as they stepped outside, pulling him in close and hugging him tightly. “I’ve got you again. I’m in a better place than I was when I came here.”

Gabriel hugged him back, face against Jack’s shoulder. “If you say so... but I’m still coming over.”

“Stubborn bastard,” Jack laughed softly.

“Always.” Gabriel pulled back and leaned in to kiss him softly. “Come on, I’ll drive you back to your car.”

Jack nodded, taking Gabriel’s hand again as he headed for the alley. The hair stood up on the back of his neck as Jack got the sudden feeling that he was being watched. When he looked over his shoulder he didn’t see anyone looking at them. People walked on the sidewalk, some kids hung out in the alley across the street. No one was staring, no one was acting suspicious. Jack eventually lost sight of them all as Gabriel led him into the alley.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack gets a headache

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to my beta Airafleeza
> 
> Tumblr: [ohgodsalazarwhy](https://ohgodsalazarwhy.tumblr.com/)  
> Twitter:[ NoviceSalazar](https://twitter.com/NoviceSalazar)
> 
> Real sorry for the late update :( I'll try not to let it happen again

“I don’t think the pain medication is working like it used to.”

Jack hadn’t spoken to Baptiste since their first meeting, but he wasn’t sure what to do. John wasn’t sleeping as much; he was restless and in incredible pain no matter how much medication Jack gave him. Worse still, he refused to talk to Jack, which meant Jack didn’t really know how much pain his father was in.

Jack had spent all morning begging John to talk to him, tell him what he was feeling. Nothing. It was like Jack wasn’t even there. 

“That can happen. Some people will build up a tolerance,” Baptiste replied. “We can try a different medication, but some of the side effects may be a lack of awareness—something I know he asked to avoid.”

The front door opened, and Jack wandered over to see Gabriel coming in without bothering to knock, of course. Jack put his finger to his lip and Gabriel nodded, unzipping his hoodie and hanging it up with some other jackets by the front door.

“I keep trying to get him to talk to me but he refuses." Jack sighed. "I could put him on the phone with you, maybe he’ll tell you what he wants.”

“Why isn’t he speaking to you?”

“We had an argument, that’s not important—”

“Do you think you might need counseling services to help you?” Baptiste sounded genuinely concerned about him. It helped that he had a calming voice that put Jack at ease.

“No, it’s not…" Jack rubbed the back of his neck. "We’ve always had a… contentious relationship. I just don’t want his last days to be in pain.”

“You’re a good son.”

Jack would have puffed up to hear those words once upon a time. Now he could barely feel anything at all. Good son, bad son... it didn’t seem to matter anymore. He had a job and he was going to see it through; that was the end of it. 

Baptiste broke the silence. “I’ll speak to him and we’ll figure something out. Would you give him the phone?” 

Jack walked into the living room and held out the phone to John, who was looking anywhere but at him. 

“Your doctor wants to speak to you.”

For a moment John looked like he wasn’t going to take the phone but he finally grabbed it and held it up to his ear. 

“What?” his voice was weak, his body straining to find the energy just to speak.

Jack turned to see Gabriel leaning against the frame at the entrance to the living room. His gaze was unreadable, arms crossed over his chest. Jack walked over and took his elbow, leading him into the dining room where John couldn’t see them. He leaned against Gabriel, face against his shoulder and arms around his waist. Jack had thought he was alright, that this would be easy. After all, he was just watching his abusive father die.

So why was he hurting all of a sudden?

“You’re alright,  _ pollito _ ,” Gabriel said softly, hand stroking up and down Jack’s back. “You’re alright.”

When Gabriel said it, Jack could almost believe it. Reluctantly he pulled away, taking a deep breath. “I need to go back in there, finish this up.”

“I’ll make lunch.”

“Thank you.” Jack gave him a quick kiss then walked back into the living room, where John was whispering into the phone.

“—want to be drugged up.”

Jack sat down on the couch by John’s chair, only able to hear one side of the conversation as Gabriel made noise in the kitchen. He was struck once more by the fact that Gabriel was  _ here _ in his house. They’d had sex yesterday. They were  _ together—e _ ven if neither of them had put a name to it.

“I can handle a little pain,” John hissed.

Jack crossed his ankle over his knee, hands on his leg as he waited. He could imagine Baptiste trying to convince his father that he didn’t  _ need _ to handle pain. Jack idly wondered if John was afraid. He was dying and no one was here with him in a way that mattered while he did. Jack wondered if John was finally seeing he’d lived a life that amounted to nothing. 

“Fine.”

John let out a sound of disgust and let the phone drop, Jack quickly grabbing it and holding it against his ear. “Baptiste?”

“Your father agreed to switch to a stronger pain medication. I’ll have a nurse bring it over today and get the drip set up. From here on out, he probably won’t be very aware. I suspect we’re at the end of things now.”

“Okay.” Jack was breathless, holding the phone so tightly his knuckles were turning white.

“I understand things are going to be hard for you right now,  _ please _ reach out if you have any questions.”

“Yes, of course,” Jack replied distantly. “Thank you.”

“Alright...” Baptiste sounded unconvinced. “Take care.”

“You, too.” 

Jack hung up and tucked the phone into his pocket, running his hand over his face before he looked at John. John had been staring at him but stubbornly looked away as soon as Jack’s eyes were on him. 

“A nurse is delivering your meds today.”

John acted like he didn’t even hear Jack.

“You’re going to be less aware.”

Silence.

“There’s nothing you want to say to your son before that happens?” Jack tried to strangle down his frustration as he said it, knowing his feelings were wasted.

“I don’t  _ have _ a son,” John grit out.

That was it. Jack came out and that was all it took. It didn’t  _ matter _ that he’d denied his identity for over forty years; it didn’t  _ matter _ that he had a decorated military career, and it certainly didn’t matter that Jack had dropped everything to care for him at the end of his life. There were no tearful final conversations to be had, no chances of reconciliation or closure.

“Jack.”

Jack tore his eyes away from John to see Gabriel standing near the back door with a plate of sandwiches in each hand. With nothing else worth saying, Jack followed Gabriel outside and took a deep breath of fresh air. 

“Goddammit,” he whispered, sitting heavily in the grass.

Gabriel sat down beside him and handed him a plate. “Forget him. He’s not worth it.”

“It’s not that easy, Gabriel!” Jack picked a bit at the crust on his bread. “I... it  _ should _ be, shouldn’t it? He’s  _ horrible _ , he’s been horrible his whole life.”

Gabriel watched him closely as he ate his own sandwich. “I don’t know what to tell you, Jack.”

“I don’t know what I’d want to hear.”

Jesse and Sombra showed up just as they were finishing their lunch. Jack came out to meet them, and when Jesse saw Gabriel coming out behind him, his whole face lit up. “Hey, boss! You can watch what I’ve learned!”

He scrambled off the bike as Sombra slid off behind him. A car pulled onto the dirt road that led to his driveway seconds later, but just as Jack realized it could be the nurse, it turned around and drove off in the other direction. 

Jack suggested they do stretches while he waited for the nurse. Gabriel followed Jesse into the backyard while Sombra trailed behind, already tapping on her phone. Jack was leaning against the front door when another car pulled up and a man with a cooler stepped out. He greeted Jack cheerfully and came in, chattering about the effects of the new drug and how often a nurse had to come to dose it.

The difference was instantaneous. John wasn’t just sleepy; it was like he wasn’t even  _ there _ anymore. No one told him some deaths were just many different smaller deaths. Jack thanked the nurse, put the medication away, and finally went outside only to see Jesse showing Gabriel how he could stand on one leg without wobbling around. Too much.

“Jesse has been making a ton of progress,” Jack said, enjoying the way Jesse grinned at the compliment. “How about we show Gabriel some of the forms we’ve been working on?”

“Take your shirts off while you do it!” Sombra called without looking up from her phone.

“Sombra!”

“Wait, she’s got a point,” Gabriel said as he leered at Jack.

Jack gave him a small shove. “Sit down.”

Gabriel sat down beside Sombra, and Jack gripped Jesse’s arm to bring him into the middle of the lawn where they had plenty of room to move. 

“Don’t go easy on me.” Jesse grinned, feet spreading for balance as he held his arms up. “Wanna show him what I can really do.”

Jack threw a punch and Jesse used his forearm to throw it wide, getting inside Jack’s reach and grabbing his wrist to twist him around. If it had been anyone else it might have worked, but Jack just shoved himself back against Jesse, knocking him onto his back and rolling onto his feet in one smooth motion. Jesse didn’t stay down, popping up like a damn spring and coming at Jack like he was really trying to hurt him. 

Jack just laughed, parrying kicks and punches and twisting out of grapples, throwing a few of his own just so Jesse could block or parry them. He was getting pretty good. Training every day in some capacity had improved his speed and spatial awareness. When he finally grabbed Jack around the waist instead of trying to finesse him, Jesse overpowered and pinned him onto the grass.

“Uncle! Uncle!” Jack tapped his palm against the grass and Jesse jumped to his feet, hands above his head as he whooped.

“I won! I did it!”

Jack sat up with a chuckle. “Well, that wouldn’t work on someone a lot bigger than you but... you’re a far cry from how you once were.” He pushed himself to his feet, brushing grass off his pants and shirt. Maybe he’d gone a  _ little _ easy on Jesse, but there was no harm in it if it made him this happy.

“My turn.” Gabriel got to his feet with a smirk, cracking his knuckles as he joined them out in the yard.

Jesse bounced on the balls of his feet. “Bring it, old man.” 

“Not you.” Gabriel pushed Jesse to the side. “I saw you knock Jack over—I wouldn’t have a  _ chance _ with you. I want to beat Jack up now.”

Jack shifted into a defensive stance. “You already tried and failed.” 

“You caught me off guard last time.” Gabriel raised his hands. “My little  _ pollito, _ all grown up,” 

“Y’all are gross,” Jesse groaned, rolling his eyes and moving next to Sombra.

Gabriel made the first move; he was pretty fast and his punch packed  _ power _ . Jack grunted as he blocked it and stepped to the side. It wasn’t that Jesse wasn’t strong, he was pretty goddamn strong in his own right, but Gabriel had been a high school wrestler, and he’d obviously brawled plenty of times in his life.

Gabriel wasn’t going easy on Jack so Jack focused on fighting for real. It became clear Gabriel had  _ some _ kind of training because he was using actual techniques, not just throwing wild punches and hoping to overwhelm. Jack’s saving grace was his ability to dart past Gabriel’s defense and land body blows before he could be grabbed. If Gabriel grabbed him, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to catch him off guard and twist their positions again.

It had been a long time since Jack had sparred against someone who could hold their own against him. Maybe he was getting a bit cocky since Gabriel hadn’t been able to land a single blow, but Jack missed the obvious feint when Gabriel stumbled back after Jack landed another punch, and instead of jumping back, Jack tried to press his advantage and knock Gabriel to the ground.

Strong arms wrapped around his waist and lifted him. Jack yelped, scrambling to retaliate, but he was too high to grab Gabriel’s throat. All the air was knocked out of his lungs when Gabriel slammed him down hard only to kneel over him, pinning his wrists above his head. Both of them were trying to catch their breath.

“Cry uncle,” Gabriel said smugly.

Jack strained to get free, arching up under Gabriel and trying to twist his wrists out of his hold. Gabriel wasn’t underestimating him anymore and he was firmly pinned down. Jack braced his feet on the ground and used all his strength to arch up and lift Gabriel, bouncing him forward so he slid down Jack’s chest and pressed his crotch right against Jack’s face.

Not a bad position to be in normally, but Jack wrapped his arms around Gabriel’s waist and used his momentary lack of balance to twist them around so Gabriel was hitting the ground with a grunt, Jack scrambling over him to put an arm over his throat. A big hand grabbed the side of his head and shoved him away. The two of them grappled back and forth, Jack winning one moment and Gabriel nearly pinning him down the next. 

Jack was glad he was wearing jeans. He was getting hard having Gabriel squirming and grappling with him. When he brought his thigh up between Gabriel’s legs he could feel just how hard he was, too. Jack rolled them and laid over Gabriel panting. 

“Truce,” he whispered against Gabriel’s ear as their cocks pressed together through their jeans. “Before we give an entirely different show.”

Gabriel let out a huff of laughter. “Fine. It’s a tie.” 

Jack rolled off him with a low groan, throwing his arm over his eyes. Gabriel sat up beside him before standing. 

“Next time, when no one is watching,” he whispered as he stood over Jack, hands on his knees as he bent over him.

“You’re going to drive me crazy,” Jack hissed between his teeth. He took his arm off his eyes and sat up, still uncomfortably hard in his jeans. “I need a moment to calm down.”

“Can you show me where the bathroom is?” Gabriel asked.

“At the end of the hall, you know that.”

“I  _ said _ ,” Gabriel whispered pointedly, “can you  _ show _ me where the bathroom is?”

Jack sucked in a breath, glancing beyond Gabriel to where Jesse was looking at something Sombra was showing him on her phone. This was ill-advised. Irresponsible. 

He scrambled to his feet. “Jesse, go back to doing your stretches then a few laps.”   
  
He didn’t wait for a response, heading into the house with Gabriel hot on his heels. Jack didn’t go to the bathroom, instead turning down the short hall to his bedroom, Gabriel’s hands already pawing over him before he was inside and the door was shut. Jack hoped Gabriel wouldn’t judge him too much; he didn’t even mention the lack of a bed or personal touches. As soon as the door was shut, Gabriel was shoving him against the nearest wall and falling to his knees.

“Oh my god, Gabriel!” Jack gasped as Gabriel fumbled his cock out of his jeans. He brought his hand down over his beanie and pushed it off so he could feel his short hair under his palm.

“Sshh, do you want the kids to hear?” Gabriel said as he looked up at Jack from under his lashes. He looked so good, Jack’s cock was pressed up against his cheek as he mouthed along the base. Jack thought he might be able to come just from watching this. He brought his foot between Gabriel’s spread thighs, letting Gabriel grind against it as he started to suck Jack’s cock properly.

This wasn’t the time or place to draw it out, and Gabriel was sucking him hard and fast, head bobbing up and down the shaft. Jack bit into his wrist to keep from making any noise, breathing hard through his nose as heat coiled in his belly like a spring. 

Gabriel was sucking Jack’s cock like he needed it to live while his father was asleep in the other room and Jesse and Sombra were just outside. 

It was so  _ filthy _ and perfect. 

His head thunked back against the wall as the pleasure tingled through his limbs, balls drawing up tight as he got closer to coming. “G-Gabe, I—”

Gabriel sucked harder and Jack keened, nearly sliding down the wall as his orgasm hit him all at once, spilling thickly over Gabriel’s tongue. He swallowed hard, hard enough that Jack could  _ feel _ him doing it and it had a little more come dribbling out of his cock. Jack shuddered and pushed Gabriel off his cock before it could get to be too much for him.

“Heh.” Gabriel gave him a wicked grin, tongue sliding over the corner of his lip. “My turn.”

Jack quickly pushed his cock, still wet, down into his jeans. He leaned down and urged Gabriel to lay out over his mat, kissing down his chest as he opened up his pants. The longer they took increased their chances of getting caught or interrupted, so Jack sucked hard and fast, showing off how he could deepthroat Gabriel without much effort. Jack had gotten rid of his gag reflex years ago and now Gabriel could reap the rewards of all the cocks he’d sucked in the past.

“Holy  _ fuck _ , Jackie!” Gabriel gasped.

Jack smirked as best he could while his nose was pressed into the coarse curls around the base of Gabriel’s cock. He fucked his own throat, bobbed up and down quickly, taking Gabriel down the base before pulling back to just suck at the head, spit dripping thickly down his chin and cheeks. Gabriel was tensing under him, breath hitching, and Jack suspected he was getting close so he went down to the base and held himself there, swallowing around Gabriel again and again.

Gabriel came with a shuddering breath, spilling down Jack’s throat. He couldn’t even taste it but he let it all slide down until Gabriel sagged back with a long sigh. 

Jack pulled back with a small cough, wiping his mouth and chin with his arm. “Feels like we can’t keep our hands off each other.”

“Making up for lost time.” Gabriel grinned, sitting up on his elbows and pulling Jack into a kiss with a hand on the back of his neck.

“We need to get back out there before it becomes anymore obvious what we disappeared to do,” Jack murmured against Gabriel’s lips. He got off of Gabriel and tried to fix himself up, wiping his face off and straightening his shirt and pants. Gabriel came in and smoothed down his t-shirt, hands sliding around Jack’s waist to bring him in for a gentle kiss.

“Should we pretend like everyone doesn’t know what we’re doing in here and leave a few minutes apart like we’re a couple of horny teens leaving a bathroom stall?” Gabriel teased.

Jack gave him a small shove but he couldn’t stop grinning. This happiness was all the sweeter because he  _ had _ worked so hard for it. He didn’t let himself overthink it, opting to kiss Gabriel and pulled away to open the door and step into the hallway. His father was fast asleep in the living room while Jesse was jogging around the yard. Sombra was still on her phone outside.

Before Gabriel could move too far Jack grabbed his wrist and pulled him back.

“Gabriel, I’ve been thinking,” he said quickly before he could change his mind. “After my father dies, this property will fall to me. And... and I want to stay. Here. I want to tear this house down and build another one.” All his words were practically tripping out of his mouth, falling haphazardly in a messy pile at his feet. “And if we’re making up for lost time... I don’t want to waste another second. Would you want to... uh... that is to say... I mean, building a house is a lot of work and maybe you’d want a room to record music in but I’m not—”

Jack continued to babble while Gabriel stared at him. “Are you asking me to move in with you?”

“Yes. That’s what I meant,” Jack said quickly.

Gabriel’s gaze searched his face. “I haven’t told you everything about my past.” 

“I don’t care,” said Jack. “I don’t care who you were or where you’ve been or what you’ve done.” He reached out to take Gabriel’s other hand, holding both of them tightly as he looked him in the eye, speaking from the heart. “The only thing I care about is  _ you _ . I want you in my life, Gabriel.”

Gabriel was silent for a moment, thumbs rubbing over the back of Jack’s hands. “I want you in my life, too, Jack. I do...”

“But...?” Jack could hear it dangling unsaid and felt his heart shudder in his chest.

“Can I have a bit of time to think about it?” Gabriel asked, bringing one of Jack’s hands up to kiss the back of it.

“Yes, of course.” Jack wrapped Gabriel up in a hug, resting his cheek against his shoulder and taking a deep breath, comforted by the way Gabriel returned it. “I know it’s moving fast, I know it’s a lot to ask... and this wouldn’t happen tomorrow either way, so take the time you need. I’m going to be here.”

Jack would have expected to feel dejected, but the fact that Gabriel was giving it thought meant he was taking Jack and his offer seriously. Besides, it wasn’t a  _ no _ . Jack pulled back just enough to draw Gabriel into a lazy kiss, tasting himself on his tongue, the kiss deepening in increments until Jack was pressed against the set of drawers by the back door, his hands tangled in Gabriel’s hair.

“Ah.” He felt his face flush as Gabriel started to trail kisses down his throat. “We should get back out there... before they come in here after us.”

“Fine...” Gabriel pulled away, gave him one last kiss, then finally stepped back so Jack could unruffle his t-shirt for a second time and take his hand.

Outside, Jack stood at the edge of the concrete to watch Jesse while Gabriel sat nearby next to Sombra again.

“You really think you two are subtle?” she muttered under her breath.

Jack blushed and rubbed the back of his neck.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Gabriel said almost primly.

“Also, I’ve been meaning to tell you.” Sombra lowered her voice so Jack had to strain a bit to listen without making it obvious he was eavesdropping. “A transfer was approved.”

“To where?” Gabriel asked just as quietly.

“Lee Correctional Institute in Bishopville, South Carolina. Should we be worried?”

“No...” said Gabriel slowly, clearly thinking about it. “No, she’s had other transfers in the last few years. That’s just the nature of the beast.”

“You would know, Gabriel.”

Jack was curious, how could he not be? But butting in would show a lack of trust on his part. Jesse wasn’t telling him anything, and Gabriel had already said he’d tell the truth if things got dangerous. So Jack turned his attention back to Jesse, walking out to pull him into training forms so Gabriel and Sombra could talk without him there. He trusted them.

Jesse and Gabriel came over every day after that, and Gabriel stayed into the evening long past when Jesse had left. They stayed up late talking; he even spent the night on Wednesday though they did little more than jerk each other off.

Not long after Gabriel started to come over regularly did Jack notice a car would sometimes turn around on the dirt road and drive off. It never lingered; it was never the same car. Just  _ a _ car would turn around after Gabriel had shown up. It only happened a few times, not every day. 

Jack told himself he was being paranoid. What reason would anyone have to follow Gabriel? Unless there was something  _ really _ awful in Gabriel’s past that he was hiding and it was catching up to him... 

Even as he thought it he dismissed it. Sure, Gabriel was cagey about his past, and Jack tried not to press too much even if he was curious, but if Gabriel was worried about something coming back to bite him, he’d have probably noticed someone was following him already.

Unless this had to do with Jesse, and Gabriel was missing the pattern. 

Unless there was no pattern and Jack was being his usual overthinking and paranoid self. 

If he brought it up, maybe Gabriel would think he was just pushing for information. 

If he didn’t bring it up, maybe someone would get hurt.

He debated these things until Ana’s dinner on Friday. Gabriel spent the night Thursday, drove Jack to his appointment with Zenyatta, then spent the hour bullshitting with Genji. Jack could hear them both laughing through the wall and it warmed him from the inside out.

He told Zenyatta everything that had transpired since their last talk: about how he and Gabriel had come together, about asking Gabriel to move in with him, how Gabriel was considering it. How he was trying to reframe his thinking in ways Zenyatta had told him to so he didn’t self-sabotage. 

“Change is constant,” Zenyatta said once Jack fell silent. “It will happen whether we are passive or active in our own lives. What you are doing is going from passive to active, and it is hard. It is like swimming upstream against a raging river. The change you have wrought has been hard-won. I hope you find it in yourself to be proud.”

Jack took a deep breath and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I... I think I am.”

He stepped out at the end of the hour and Gabriel was leaning against the front desk showing Genji something on his phone. “What’re you looking at?”

Gabriel quickly yanked his phone away, trying to put it into his pocket. His eyes were crinkled with mischief. Jack darted forward and grabbed Gabriel’s wrist, trying to yank his phone out of his hand. “Hiding it from me just makes me want to see it more!”

“I don’t think so, Morrison!” 

Gabriel jerked his hand up, holding his phone over his head—which might have worked if Jack wasn’t the same height as him. He laughed and tried to grab it. Unfortunately, what happened was Gabriel, while trying to pull it back further, dropped it into the arm of a chair behind him. It fell to the floor, the screen shattered.

Genji grabbed his trashcan and carried it over to crouch down to start picking glass up off the carpet. While Jack covered his own mouth and apologized, Gabriel sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. “You owe me a new phone."

“Yes,” Jack agreed hastily, crouching down to help Genji clean up. “A nice one, I promise.”

Gabriel pulled the SIM card out and tossed the phone in the trash. “It was a cheap piece of junk anyway.”

“He was just showing me a picture of you drooling in your sleep,” said Genji, standing up with the trashcan in one hand.

“Okay, well. Now I’m  _ not _ sorry I destroyed your phone.” Jack shoved Gabriel lightly towards the door. “Come on, we’re meeting Ana at the grocery store.” He turned back to the reception desk. “Bye, Genji.”

“See you tomorrow!” Genji called out before they were out the door.

Ana was waiting for them out front by the time they pulled up in Gabriel’s rumbling car. Jack and Gabriel had agreed not to tell her everything over the phone, and as soon as she saw them step out of the same car, her face split into a big grin. 

“Are my boys done being stubborn?” she asked, hooking her elbows with both of theirs so they were towering on either side of her.

“For now,” said Gabriel mildly, grabbing a cart by the front corner so he could pull it around without letting go of Ana.

Ana laughed. “Good. Otherwise, this would have been a very awkward day for you both.”

“And that didn’t stop you from doing it,” Jack said, trying to sound stern. It was a little difficult. This was the first time in decades that all three of them had been together. It felt so good, like another weight dropping off his shoulders. 

“An old woman can only be so patient,” Ana said primly.

“You were risking a fistfight over the dinner table,” Gabriel scolded without any heat.

She pat Gabriel on the hand. “You would fight in front of Farheeha? It would break her heart to see her Uncle Gabriel throwing a punch over the dinner table.”

Gabriel grumbled and pulled away from her. “What do you need for dinner?”

Ana moved away from Jack to tell Gabriel her list and they stepped ahead of him as he slowed down a bit. Jack just wanted to watch them for a moment. It occurred to him that this was the rest of his life...and that the thought of the rest of his life didn’t overwhelm and exhaust him anymore. Jack listened to Gabriel and Ana laugh about something and thought that this was the life he’d always wanted to live but had been too scared to reach out and take.

It was a life his father would have abandoned him for. Jack thought that wouldn’t have been so bad in hindsight. At least he had it now.

“Keep up!” Gabriel called out over his shoulder.

Jack trot forward and grabbed Gabriel’s hand, pretending he didn’t see Ana’s pointed, smug look when she saw it. Together they grabbed ingredients for dinner that night, Ana was going to be making one of Farheeha’s favorite dishes: lemon chicken with rice and a salad. Ana was clearly excited to see her daughter, who would be staying around for a few weeks while on leave. 

When she mentioned making baklava for dessert, Jack understood why they needed all day to prepare. This was fine with Jack; he enjoyed cooking and was looking forward to spending the day in a kitchen with people he loved. Once groceries were bought, they helped Ana pack them into her little Ford truck, setting them in the bed.

“Jack, ride with me?” Ana said as they loaded the last of the bags. “I’m going to need a strong man to help me unload all this.”

“We both know that’s not true,” Gabriel said. “You’re just trying to take him away from me.”

“Just temporarily.” Ana grabbed Jack’s wrist and pulled him towards the passenger door. He grinned and gave Gabriel a little wave before she was urging him up into the truck.

As soon as they were sitting together she gave Jack a serious look, putting the truck into gear and driving off. While they drove to Ana’s home, with Gabriel driving just behind them, Jack told her the events of the past week. 

Ana was very smug about it all. “I knew if you two just sat down and talked it’d work itself out.”

“Which is what I’ve been trying to do this whole time,” Jack said. “But  _ Gabriel _ wouldn’t talk to  _ me _ !”

“You put in the work to address and take responsibility for what you did.” Ana sounded pleased. “If you hadn’t, Gabriel never would have given you the time of day.”

“I guess that’s true.” Jack brushed his fingers over his chin as he looked out the side mirror, noticing Gabriel was bobbing his head to whatever music he was listening to. “Ana, I just... I love him. I love him after all these years and all the distance. We’re not the same men, but I love the man he is.”

“I should hope you’re not both the same idiot teenagers,” Ana laughed. “Though sometimes I wonder...”

They arrived at a well maintained little cottage on the edge of town. Her front yard was a lovely garden with deer fencing all around it, between which was a stone path that led to the front door. Between the three of them, they were able to carry all the bags inside in one trip, setting them down in Ana’s cute little kitchen.

“I love this place.” Jack marveled, looking out the sliding glass door to her backyard which had an elevated coop with some free-range chickens pecking around in the dirt and grass around it. It gave him some ideas about what he wanted to do with his father’s property when he passed.

Jack reluctantly tore himself away and wandered back into the kitchen, where Ana directed both men like a general. Gabriel made the nuts and spices mixture while Jack, the more patient and meticulous of the two, brushed butter between the layers of phyllo. Gabriel sprinkled on his mixture then Jack continued layering.

Meanwhile, Ana preheated the oven and started to prepare the chicken, getting it brined and set in the fridge. The kitchen wasn’t very big, but they all moved around each other easily. Sometimes Gabriel would brush past and grab his ass and all Jack could do was try to elbow him as he passed.

Fareeha arrived around three when they were just getting the rice and chicken started. Ana drew her into a tight hug then brought her in where she greeted Gabriel as  _ Uncle Gabriel _ and Jack with a firm handshake. She was wearing a black motorcycle jacket, white shirt, and high-waisted jeans tucked into a pair of tall boots. 

Jack could immediately see the resemblance between her and Ana. 

“Your mother told me you’re in the Air Force,” said Jack as she set her bags down against the wall in the dining room.

“Finished top of my class in basic,” Fareeha boasted.

“Jack was in the Marines for the last twenty-five years,” said Ana, “so if you have any questions you should ask him.”

Fareeha didn’t have any questions, but she did seem happy to talk to Jack about stuff in the military that no one else could understand without being there themselves. Jack was all too happy to commiserate. 

His friend from high school had raised an amazing daughter and now Jack was a part of it all. The cost had been an abusive, miserable old man, and if Jack had paid it sooner, he could have been Uncle Jack.

Dinner was fantastic and dessert was followed by a game of Scrabble that Ana trounced them in. It was well past dark by the time Jack and Gabriel were saying their goodbyes. Jack had told Fareeha about training with Jesse and she wanted to come tomorrow to join in. With Genji there, they’d have a regular class going.

Jack was a little breathless as he threw himself down in the passenger seat of Gabriel’s car, waving as he pulled out of the driveway. 

“I don’t think I’m going to be able to eat tomorrow,” he groaned, slouching down with his hand over his stomach.

“That’s dinner with Ana for you.” Gabriel dug a box of toothpicks out of his pocket and slipped one between his lips before offering another to Jack.

He took one. They were coated in a strong tea tree oil that helped clear his palate while he held it in his mouth. Beside him, Gabriel squinted as the car behind them turned on their brights. 

“Bastard,” he muttered, adjusting his rearview mirror.

Jack pulled out his cellphone; he’d completely forgotten to turn it back on after his appointment. 

“Damn, I’ve got a ton of texts and… missed calls...” Jack’s voice trailed off as he opened up the texts.

**Jesse McCree 10:12AM**

_ Gabe w u??? Emergency!!! _

**Sombra 10:12AM**

_ Where’s Gabe? _

**Sombra 10:12AM**

_ Call us!! _

“Jack?”

Jack saw they’d left several messages and turned the phone on speaker as he opened his inbox. He heard the rushing of wind; Sombra was leaving this message while they were on Jesse’s motorcycle, he was sure of it.

“ _ I don’t know what you’re doing or where you are, but I just found out that there was a prison escape! Jesse and I are getting out of here. It was nice knowing you both! I’m sorry but we have to look out for ourselves! _ ”

The message ended and they were left in shock, silence ringing in their ears. Jack’s heart twisted. Jesse and Sombra were running?

“Those goddamn idiots!” Gabriel roared, knuckles white on the wheel as he started to speed up. “When was that left?”

Jack checked quickly. “Four hours ago.”

Gabriel swore. “We have to find them! They can’t run off like that!”

The car behind them was speeding up, tailgating them. Gabriel sped up further as Jack’s instincts screamed at him. 

“Gabriel.” Jack reached out and grabbed his arm. “Something’s wrong. We need to stop.” 

“ _ Stop _ ?  _ Stop _ ?!” Gabriel shoved Jack off of him. “Jesse and Sombra are out there in danger and you want to  _ stop _ ?! Do you want to run away again, Jack?”

“No! God!” Jack was hurt at the accusation but pushed those feelings down. “Gabriel, you need to stop the fucking car! Something’s  _ wrong _ !”

“Of course something is wrong! Ashe is out and after them!”

“Who—fuck, that’s not important because  _ right now _ —!” 

Jack and Gabriel yelled as he turned a corner and found an armored vehicle parked across both lanes. Gabriel slammed on the brakes so fast that Jack’s head smashed into the dashboard so hard his vision briefly doubled.

The car behind them screamed to a stop, drifting so it too covered both lanes. They were trapped. Jack groaned, fumbling to unbuckle his belt and get out of the car. He had to defend Gabriel, even as the world spun around him. 

“Run, Gabriel!”

“Are you nuts? I’m not leaving you!” Gabriel got out as well, running over to Jack’s side and taking his elbow. 

They were out in the middle of nowhere boxed between two cars. Three people got out of the car behind them; all of them looked pretty relaxed, their faces hidden by yellow bandanas. The back of the armored car opened up and out of it stepped the biggest man Jack had ever seen in his life. Just behind him was a slim woman with white hair under a black cowboy hat. She had thickly lined eyes and ruby-red lips curled into a cruel smirk. In her hands was a massive rifle.

“Finally we meet,” she said in a sophisticated southern drawl. “McCree’s new daddy.”

Jack held onto Gabriel tightly as they were surrounded. “You must be Ashe,” he said calmly.

Ashe walked forward, the heel of her boots tapping on the asphalt. “Jack Morrison, a pleasure.”

Then the butt of her rifle smashed him in the face.


	14. Chapter 14

Jack was only out for a minute or so but it was enough time for both of them to be tied up and thrown in the back of the armored truck. Jack groaned as he was tossed over the hard floor, head  _ throbbing _ from all the rapid abuse.

“Jack? Jackie?” Gabriel whispered beside him. 

“‘m okay.” Jack breathed, squinting at Gabriel, his voice was thick, he was pretty sure he had a broken nose and could taste blood on his tongue. Their arms were tied behind their backs and their ankles tied together. Jack twisted his arms, testing the tightness of the ropes. He could get out of these, but he’d only have one chance. He was calm, he’d been trained to deal with situations just like this. Well... close to this. 

Gabriel wasn’t panicking either, though Jack wasn’t sure he’d call him  _ calm _ per se. He scooted a little closer, no one was back here with them but he could hear muffled voices upfront. “We’re going to be okay,” he whispered thickly. Jack turned his head and spit out some blood, one of his teeth felt loose too. “The important thing is Jesse and Sombra aren’t here, and we can get out of this."

Gabriel took a deep breath and nodded. “I’m sorry, Jack. I’m sorry you got wrapped up in this—”

“Gabriel,” Jack scooted closer so their foreheads were nearly touching, “enough. You, Jesse, Sombra, Ana... I asked to be wrapped up. I’m not running anymore, even if things get hard or scary.”

“This might be a little more than you were asking for,” Gabriel whispered. “I’m sorry about what I said in the car I—”

“Not now, Gabriel,” talking wasn’t exactly comfortable, and this wasn’t the place for a heart-to-heart. “Now, I need you to tell me everything you can.”

“Jesse’s old gang, Deadlock, and their co-leader Ashe. Big guy is Bob.” Gabriel was talking quickly. “A job went bad and Ashe... killed some people. Innocent people. Jesse testified against her and the gang and they were ripped apart and he was put under witness protection but he refused to change his name. He came here with Sombra who has been trying to keep them under the radar but...well...”

“Jesse’s not good at staying under the radar,” Jack groaned, eyes slipping shut. He had a driver’s license for godsake. He hadn’t even gone straight once getting here.

“I’m so stupid,” Gabriel hissed, “I should have insisted, I should have been the responsible one.”

“One thing I don’t understand is: why is she grabbing  _ us _ when she’s after Jesse?” Jack asked, half to himself. If Ashe had broken out, and Sombra had gotten word of it, then Ashe’s time was limited, she was going to be hunted down eventually. So why not spend the time chasing the person she was actually... oh god... “We’re bait.”

“Bait? She’s never met me, how would she even know to grab us? And Jesse and Sombra aren’t even here!”

“I don’t know but I don’t know any other reason for us to be grabbed. Think about it, Gabriel, she’s on a time limit, why chase Jesse across the country when she thinks she can just bring him to her?”

“Except he has no goddamn idea this is all happening!”

The truck stopped and Jack rolled onto his back and sat up, groaning as it made his head throb. He was probably already getting a pair of black eyes and a goose egg on his forehead. The back of the truck opened up and the big guy, Bob, grabbed Jack under one arm and Gabriel under the other and hauled them out of the truck like they weighed nothing at all. Like he was bringing in bags of dog food.

Jack couldn’t tell where they were, out in the country somewhere in an old barn. Like there weren’t hundreds of those scattered around Bloomington. He and Gabriel were unceremoniously dropped onto the floor which was covered in rotting hay. Jack sneezed and blood shot out his nose, they’d kicked up a cloud of dust and mold when they’d hit the ground.

“Say cheese, gentlemen,” Ashe smirked. 

Jack rolled onto his back to see Ashe holding  _ his phone _ . He squinted as the flash hit his eyes and left him seeing spots. Well that answered a whole bunch of questions now didn’t it? Goddammit they must have grabbed it out of Gabriel’s car. “You’re nuts if you think that’s going to do anything. We’re not exactly best friends!” Jack lied, hoping Ashe knew far less than she let on.

“Oh, you ain’t here ‘cause I think he’ll come for  _ you _ ,” Ashe drawled, chucking Jack’s phone on the ground once she was done with it. “You’re here ‘cause that filthy traitor will come for  _ him _ ,” she pointed with her chin at Gabriel who snarled at her like an animal. “Guess you just ain’t very lucky.”

“Go to hell you bitch!”

Ashe looked delighted by Gabriel’s outburst, hands clasped behind her as she paced lazily before them. “Gabriel Reyes. DOC number 185115. Funny thing about bein’ in the system,” she leaned over Gabriel with a smug smirk, “you don’t ever leave it. An’ your address matched the one McCree has listed online.”

Jack sucked in a breath, turning his head to look at Gabriel, “You were in prison?”

“Is that really the most important revelation here right now?” Gabriel grit out.

Right. If Jack had learned this fact outside of a violent kidnapping they may have had a long talk about it but right now it hardly seemed like a problem. No wonder Gabriel had been cagey about bits of his past. Jack needed to think about that when he wasn’t surrounded by gang members.

“We got some time together before McCree shows up.” She turned and went back to the armored truck which was parked between the big barn doors. She pulled her rifle out of the passenger seat and Jack sucked in a breath.

“Whoa whoa hey no reason to bring that out!” Jack said quickly.

“You like her?” Ashe cooed as she stroked her fingers along the body of the big rifle. “This is my Viper, an’ she’s got quite the bite, partner.” She came over and slid the barrel under Jack’s chin. 

He swallowed hard, feeling his adams apple bob against the metal. “What reason could you possibly have for threatening us?” Jack asked, twisting his hands under him, the rope slowly slipping down.

“Maybe I just don’t like the sorta people who would take in that traitor.” Ashe snapped her fingers and pointed at Gabriel. Bob, who had been lurking in the shadows, stepped forward and grabbed Gabriel by the front of his shirt.

“Leave him alone!” Jack yelled, heart jumping into his throat. He could be calm when the pain was aimed at him, but the very thought of losing Gabriel strangled him with fear. Ashe shoved him down, barrel pressing so hard against his throat that he felt like he was going to choke.

Bob hauled back and slammed his fist into Gabriel’s cheek, whipping his head to the side so hard that Jack briefly feared his neck would snap. Gabriel spat out a bit of blood, looking completely dazed as Bob punched him again. Only two punches from Bob and Gabriel looked like he’d been beat by an entire gang of people. Bob dropped him down and Gabriel moaned through the blood bubbling between his lips.

Ashe removed the butt of her gun from his throat and walked over to where she’d dropped Jack’s phone, “Let’s give McCree a bit of motivation to speed up,” she grinned, swiping up to unlock Jack’s phone. He cursed himself for never putting a password on it. She took another photo, looking delighted as she tapped at the screen to send it off.

“He’s not stupid,” Jack challenged, “he’s not coming back here, you’re wasting your time with us.”

“We’ll see about that.” Ashe turned and waved Bob over. “C’mon, Bob, let’s get this truck outta here. Boys, keep an eye on our guests.”

Jack and Gabriel were left in the dark barn with three Deadlock gang members scattered around the barn. Jack could see two, by the big door as Ashe hopped into the armored truck and drove it off, but the third one he could only hear shuffling off to the side. If they were ever going to make a break for it, it was going to have to be now.

Only if Gabriel could handle it though. Jack twisted onto his side and said lowly, “Gabriel are you alright.”

He coughed and nodded, though one of his eyes looked like it was going to swell shut. Gabriel’s gaze was sharp enough, if narrowed with pain. “You?” he hissed out, there was a trail of blood down his cheeks, his teeth must have cut up the inside of his mouth something fierce.

“I’ll be fine.” Jack lay on his back to hide the fact that he was twisting his hands around in the rope, slowly but surely working it down. “I need you to do something for me,” Jack whispered low enough that only Gabriel could hear, “I need eyes off me or I’ll get caught taking the rope off my ankles.”

“When?” Gabriel didn’t look scared as he watched Jack closely. Was that trust in his eyes? That scared Jack more than anything. Trust was a weight. One he wasn’t sure he deserved to carry.

Please god don’t let him let Gabriel down now when he needed him the most. Jack got the rope off his hands, leaving them chafed and rope-burned but otherwise unharmed. “Now.”

Gabriel rolled onto his belly and got onto his knees. The gang members noticed immediately as he hopped onto hobbled feet. “Hey!” one of them yelled. All three of them were rushing over as Gabriel tried to jump clumsily to the back of the barn. He didn’t get more than a few feet before he was tackled. Jack worked fast, he probably only had moments, sitting up and working the rope off his ankles.

“You stupid son of a bitch!” 

Jack heard Gabriel grunt in pain as he was kicked or punched just behind him. As soon as his feet were free Jack was up in half a second and swinging the meat of his palm right into one man’s temple. The hit was so hard he dropped like a sack of potatoes without making a single sound. Jack whirled, the momentum he’d already gathered building into a ruthless elbow jab into another man’s throat which cut off his cry of surprise.

The third man Jack gave a quick heel-kick to the knee even as he slapped his hand over his mouth to muffle his scream of agony. Jack wrapped his free arm around his throat and squeezed, cutting off the circulation to his brain by pinching the arteries in his neck shut. Just like he’d done to Jesse all those months ago. Except this time when the man’s legs started to give out he didn’t stop, Jack felt nothing as the man buckled under him and collapsed into the hay. Even if he woke up he wouldn’t be in any shape to go after them.

Jack grabbed the man who was still wheezing and choking, his throat damaged beyond repair, and ripped the knife he’d been carrying off his belt. “Come on,” Jack whispered, turning Gabriel onto his belly to cut through the ropes.

“Holy  _ shit _ , Jack,” Gabriel used Jack’s hand to get up, staring at the three downed men. “You  _ have _ been going easy on me.”

“I’d  _ never _ hurt you,” Jack said, drawing Gabriel into a quick, bloody kiss. There was no telling how long Ashe and Bob would be gone or where they’d taken the armored truck. Jack was thinking that truck was their best shot at getting out of here. Except Ashe still had his phone, and what if Jesse  _ was _ stupid enough to come back? He’d be slaughtered.

Jack grabbed Gabriel’s hand and led him silently to the back of the barn, peeking out to see a field of corn about a hundred yards away. He also noticed a suspicious area of flattened corn where Ashe and Bob had probably driven the armored truck to hide it nearby. “Okay,” Jack whispered, grabbing Gabriel’s arm to look him in the eye. “Here’s how I see it. I need to get that phone away from Ashe and we need to get into that truck and get away. It’s bulletproof so she can’t shoot us as we drive away.”

“Are you nuts, we can’t get that phone away from her, even you can’t take down that big guy and she’s got a gun.” Jack glanced at the guys laying on the ground, the one who’d been hit on the throat wasn’t breathing anymore. 

“I’m going to grab a gun, I don’t care how big you are, you can’t stop a bullet.” Jack darted to the guy he’d hit in the temple, unbuckling his gun belt and sliding it off. It was just a standard glock, and it didn’t look very well maintained.

“—long you reckon it’ll take him to show up?”

Jack swore under his breath and ran back to Gabriel, grabbing his hand and leading him out the back just as Ashe and Bob opened the big front doors. Jack felt his stomach twist and he yanked Gabriel to the ground without warning, throwing himself over top of him just as Ashe’s rifle blew a massive hole in the rotten wood where their heads had just been.

“OH NO YOU DON’T YOU SUNSOVBITCHES!” 

Jack got up, Gabriel right behind him, and together they booked it for the field of corn. His head was throbbing, every once in a while the ground seemed to wave under him like he was running on the floor of a bouncy house instead of solid earth. Ashe screamed in rage from behind and Jack flinched as he heard the rifle go off again, but it missed. 

He dove into the corn beside Gabriel then had him dart towards the path he’d seen to the right. It was nearly pitch black in the field, the corn was close to harvest, far taller than they were and blocking out the light of the stars above. Gabriel grabbed Jack’s wrist and pulled him to a sudden jarring stop, putting his fingers to his lips.

Jack crouched down beside him, going very, very quiet. Too close for comfort he could hear Ashe and Bob crashing through the corn. “They’re going for the truck,” Ashe was saying, “well if they want it they can fight us for it. Bastards. Sunsovbitches. I want them  _ dead _ , they've already served their purpose.”

Jack got the irrational urge to laugh as it occurred to him he may die before his father. Slowly, silently, they slipped through the corn, following the far less silent sounds of Ashe and Bob, who probably couldn’t be silent even if he wanted to be. Jack was afraid to get too close to where they’d stopped, where the armored truck was. He wasn’t close enough to aim with his gun but if he did get close enough it meant they could see him too. And moving too much would eventually push their luck a bit too far.

Firing at random would probably just allow Ashe to pinpoint their location and then they’d have a blind firefight in a cornfield which sounded like a really great way to die. “What now?” Gabriel leaned in to breathe against the shell of Jack’s ear. That level of trust was astounding, and that he was giving it to  _ Jack _ after everything he’d done... it was a gift he wished he’d received under better circumstances.

Jack shook his head, “We’re at a stalemate... if we lay low they may decide we tried to run for it and abandon the truck.”

“Or drive it over us by accident.”

He was being overly cautious, he knew that. Jack was a crack shot with a gun, he could  _ probably _ kill Ashe before she could get a shot off and Bob didn’t seem to be armed so Jack could then shoot him. But Gabriel was here. Jack couldn’t bear the thought of doing anything that might put him in harm's way. What if Ashe was faster? What if Bob  _ was _ armed?

Jack pulled the knife off his belt and handed it to Gabriel, “Just in case,” he breathed.

Now all they could do was wait.

And hope.

Jack held Gabriel’s hand as they crouched together in the dirt, it was all he could do. Hold onto him and pray something distracts them or they get bored. Jack had no idea how long they were stuck in a hidden standoff, over an hour at least, his muscles starting to protest, when he heard the sound of a motorcycle.

Jack shared a worried look with Gabriel as Ashe scoffed, “It’s about goddamn time.”

“No no no no,” Gabriel breathed, slowly standing up, “we have to do something!”

“You stay here—” Jack glared when Gabriel opened his mouth to protest, “— _ stay here _ and if you see a chance to grab the truck you do it. I’m going to help Jesse. As soon as you have the truck you drive it over and we’ll hop in.”

Gabriel pulled him into a painfully hard kiss, jostling Jack’s broken nose. He gasped into it, hand coming up to cup the back of his neck. “Don’t you  _ dare _ get hurt, Morrison... don’t run away from me again.”

“Never,” Jack breathed, resting their foreheads together, brushing his hand along the back of Gabriel’s head. “I love you, Gabriel. I never stopped loving you. I’ll never leave you again, just trust me.”

“I do, goddammit.”

“Bob, you see either of those roaches... squish ‘em.”

Jack kissed Gabriel one last time then slipped into the corn after the sound of Ashe walking back towards the barn. The motorcycle hadn’t kept going, it had pulled up and Jack could hear it idling before it was turned off and silence once more stretched around them. Jack had to slow way down, frustrated that Ashe was able to move so much faster because she wasn’t trying to hide.

“Ashe!” Jesse’s voice roared out. He sounded so much older right now. “Where the  _ hell _ are they? You let them go, they ain’t got nothin’ to do with this!”

“Shoulda thought about that before you got them involved,” Ashe yelled. They didn’t sound super close to each other. Jack took a risk and sped up a bit, hoping their yelling would mask the sound of rustling corn. If only it was a windy night! He had his hand on the butt of the glock, ready to pull it out at a moment's notice.

“Where. Are. THEY?!”

“Reckon they’ll get found eventually... when the thresher comes by an’ harvests all this corn.”

“What?” Jesse suddenly sounded so small and so young it made Jack’s heart ache. He wanted to stand up and yell out that she was lying, they were fine! They were alive! But he couldn’t. There would be time enough for that if this all worked out.

Jack made it to the very edge of the cornfield and peeked through the stalks as Ashe sauntered out of the field, her rifle held against her shoulder and at the ready. Jesse was a dark figure by his bike, hands curled into fists that shook at his side. Jack momentarily wondered where the hell Sombra was. They’d left together, right? Maybe she’d refused to come back. Except something in Jack told him she’d never abandon Jesse like that. Not when she’d come this far with him.

Jack slowly pulled the glock out of its holster, checking that the magazine was full before he slid it back up into the handle. His finger rest lightly against the trigger guard as he kneeled down between the stalks and raised the gun, aiming down the barrel at Ashe’s back. He would not feel sad to see her go, killing her very well may save Jesse more years of looking over his shoulder.

But firing would set off a chain of events he couldn’t control. All Jack could control was the aim of his gun and the curl of his trigger finger. Everything beyond that? Unpredictable chaos. He could fire and Bob could come running with a gun, mowing them all down. Gabriel could panic and make a move and get killed. He could shoot through Ashe and hit Jesse. Ashe could survive the first shot and kill Jesse before he could get off a second.

Every horrible outcome was swirling around in his head but Jack’s eyes never left Ashe and his hands never faltered as they held the gun. He had been very good in battle, it was one of the reasons he’d been promoted. Jack Morrison did not leave men or bodies behind if he could help it. Of course, he’d also been mildly suicidal and stupidly lucky. Two things that made him  _ look _ very brave and selfless instead of what he really was: a selfish asshole.

“Did you really think you could get away with turnin’ on us, McCree?” Ashe drawled, sounding pleased at Jesse’s pain. “You think I wouldn’t do anythin’ in my power to hunt you down, ruin everythin’ good in your life then kill you? I’m jus’ sorry I didn’t keep the bodies around so I could make sure they were the last things you ever saw.”

“Yer lyin’.”

“Excuse me?”

Jack stopped breathing as his vision tunneled to Ashe’s back. His finger slid off the guard and onto the trigger as the entire world stilled around him.

“Yer lyin’,” Jesse sounded like he was gloating a bit. “If you  _ had _ killed them you  _ would _ have shown them to me. They got away, didn’t they? You bit off more than you could chew with those two!”

Ashe raised her rifle, she was now standing so close to Jesse that her gun was right in his face and Jack feared no bullet he fired would be fast enough. “Well, then the real joke is that they knew you was comin’ an’ abandoned you here to your fate,” Ashe said coldly.

Jack’s finger curled, but before he could fire Jesse was grabbing the rifle and pushing it up, grabbing Ashe’s wrist and twisting it so she dropped the entire thing. Jack’s heart pounded in his chest as between one breath and the next his gun was suddenly aiming at Jesse’s back as he twisted around Ashe, grappling her to the ground. Hey, he’d taught him that.

“BOB!” Ashe screamed.

Jack had done nothing and chaos had reigned regardless. He twisted as Bob came crashing down the path of smashed corn and turned the gun on him, firing rapidly at his big, dark form. He might as well have been shooting a  _ bear _ for all the good it did. Bob didn’t even slow down. God fucking dammit Bob was going to tear Jesse in half. Jack holstered his gun and burst out of the corn, running full tilt at Bob. Before he could reach Jesse, who was getting his knee on Ashe’s back, Jack threw himself on Bob, wrapping his arms around his throat and yanking, trying to knock him off balance.

For all of Jack’s training and skill, there was a weakness there when you ran into someone who physically outclassed you in every way. Bob was easily a foot taller than him, the muscles in his arms bigger than Jack’s head, and Jack might as well have been a kitten throwing himself at a Rottweiler for all the good he did. Bob reached over his shoulder and grabbed Jack by the head, peeling him off like a tick and throwing him on the ground.

Bob reached Jesse and grabbed him, hauling him off Ashe and throwing him violently onto the ground. Jack scrambled up but Ashe was already grabbing her rifle and twisting to fire. He didn’t even think about it, he threw himself at Jesse as Ashe’s rifle fired. He knocked him over just as he’d tried to sit up, and Jesse’s arm flew up while the other tried to catch himself.

Jesse started to scream and Jack felt blood splatter over his face. He sat up and saw that Jesse had been hit in the arm, the one he’d thrown up. The bullet had been only inches above Jack. “You’re going to be okay,” Jack said quickly as Jesse curled up around his wounded arm, shaking through the pain.

“Yeah, once you’re both dead,” Ashe snarled, getting to her feet and cocking her rifle. She took a step forward, the rifle angled right at Jack’s head but still not close enough for him to grab at her in time. She’d obviously learned her lesson. Bob loomed like a mountain just behind her, one hand curled into a ready fist.

The armored car roared to life and started to crash through the corn towards them. Ashe and Bob turned to stare as the headlights flashed through the corn as it rushed towards all of them. Both Jack and Jesse moved at the same time. Jack pulled out the glock and fired at Ashe while Jesse lurched forward to grab her rifle. Ashe gasped and dropped it, holding her stomach where blood was pouring out between her fingers.

Bob didn’t make any sound, was he mute? But the look on his face, one of rage highlighted in the approaching headlights, would probably stick with him for the rest of his life. Jack fired his glock but Bob shrugged the shot off just like he’d shrugged off every shot. Jesse was trying to hold Ashe’s rifle but his injured arm wasn’t working and the gun was too heavy to use one handed. Bob smacked the glock out of Jack’s hands like he was holding a goddamn toy and grabbed him by the front of his shirt, physically lifting him off the ground, his feet kicking fruitlessly. There was murder in his eyes. He held Jack with one hand and reached out to grab his throat, he was going to snap his neck like a twig—

Gabriel slammed the armored truck into Bob, sending both him and Jack flying like a pair of rag dolls. Bob took the brunt of the hit but Jack could barely breathe as he lay on the grass, staring up at the stars as they spun above him. Against all odds, Bob was slowly pushing himself to his feet and Gabriel couldn’t drive forward without running over Jesse.

That was when Jack heard police sirens rapidly approaching. He nearly sobbed with relief when police and a pair of ambulances came rushing up to the abandoned barn. This had to be because of Sombra, who else? Jack just lay in the grass, too hurt and exhausted to get up as Ashe was picked up and hauled into one ambulance and Jesse another.

“Jack!” Gabriel was suddenly kneeling beside him, his face blocking out the stars. “You fucking idiot!”

“You hit me with a car,” Jack said, still a little dazed.

“I’ll do it again if you  _ ever _ scare me like that again,” Gabriel threatened, laying out with Jack and putting his head on his chest. Jack liked it too much to tell him that it hurt and he thought some of his ribs were cracked.

“What took so long?”

“No key, I had to wire it,” Gabriel whispered.

“Thank god you knew how to do that.” Talking was not very fun so Jack fell silent.

“Jack?” 

Jack hummed.

“I think I’d like to move in with you.”

He laughed but it quickly turned into a pained groan. “Alright.”

Jack and Gabriel were taken to the hospital in the back of a cop car, Jack groaning and hissing at every bump and jostle. Gabriel’s face was swollen, covered in dried blood, but thankfully he looked worse than he was. He was going to be fine. Jack was going to be fine. Even Jesse was going to be fine. 

Sombra, Genji, Ana and even Fareeha were all waiting when they came through the entrance to the emergency room, the cop and Gabriel helping Jack stumble his way in. Ana was in charge the second she laid eyes on them, “I’ve got it from here,” she said, wrapping one of Jack’s arms over her shoulder and calling for a nurse to bring a gurney. “I can’t leave you two alone for more than a moment,” she said through pursed lips.

“Sorry...” Jack whispered, now that he was surrounded by people he trusted he was fading fast. As soon as Ana helped him onto the gurney he was out.

Jack didn’t know how long he was out, just that when he opened his eyes again it was daytime, light filtering gently through the blinds over the nearby window. He turned his head to see Gabriel in the bed beside him, sitting up and flipping through the channels on their TV. His face had been cleaned up, though one eye was swollen shut and he was covered in black and blue bruises from his eyes to his chin. One cheek looked like he was hiding a baseball in his mouth.

“How’re you feeling?” Jack asked.

Gabriel dropped the remote and pushed the blankets off to come over and stand by Jack’s bed, “Me? What about you?”

“Sore,” Jack reached up and felt that his nose had been set, though from now on it’d probably be a little bent. Still hurt like hell. “What was the damage?”

“Broken nose, small skull fracture, some fractured ribs,” Gabriel rattled off, reaching down to take Jack’s hand in both of his.

“What about Jesse?” Jack couldn’t bear to sit up just yet, not with the way his chest ached, but he wished he could jump out of this bed and haul Gabriel into a kiss, if only to wipe that worried look off his face.

“He’s going to be fine, won’t be able to use the arm much while it heals but I’m sure Genji will be there to help him.”

“I’m sure Jesse is really upset about that,” Jack said seriously.

“Heartbroken,” Gabriel smirked, bringing Jack’s hand up to kiss the inside of his wrist.

They were discharged the next day, though all it meant was that they slipped into Jesse’s room. Sombra was sitting by the window playing on her phone and Genji was sitting by Jesse’s bed holding his good hand. “Ya’ll are alright!” Jesse lit up when they walked in. “I mean, they told me that but, y’know, it’s nice to see.”

“We’re fine, just glad to see you’re going to be okay, Jesse,” Gabriel said, coming over to sit on the other side of his bed. Jack sat down on the bench Sombra was curled up on.

“Thanks for getting the cops and ambulances there so fast,” Jack said quietly.

Sombra shrugged and didn’t look up from her phone, “They were  _ for _ you two... would have only asked for one if I’d known what had really happened.”

“You could have just washed your hands of us.”

Sombra finally looked up at him and sniffed, “Hardly. Not when you can’t keep your noses out of trouble the second we leave.”

“Guess you’ll both have to stick around.”

Gabriel insisted on going home with Jack, walking through the front door with him as the smell of old cigarettes hit him particularly hard after spending a couple days in the hospital. Ana came around the corner to greet them as soon as the door was opened. She’d insisted on taking care of his father, and Fareeha had chosen to help, using up precious leave to care for a horrible old man. It was deeply touching.

“How has he been?”

“Too drugged up to do little more than lie in bed,” said Ana, pulling Gabriel into a hug then giving Jack a very  _ gentle _ hug. “We don’t even move him anymore. I suspect there aren’t more than a couple days left. If that. Death isn’t on anyone’s schedule.”

“Thank you for all this,” Jack said as Ana pulled back. “Really... I know you have better things to do.”

“I  _ never _ have something better than being there for my boys,” said Ana, leading the way into the house. The living room looked weirdly empty without John in his usual recliner. Fareeha was in the kitchen making a sandwich but she grinned and ran over when she saw them, wrapping Gabriel up in a tight hug.

“I can’t believe you two got kidnapped right after dinner!”

Gabriel gave her a pat on the back before she pulled away, “Neither can we. It’s over now.”

“You don’t think she’ll escape again?”

Gabriel snorted, “I suspect her and Bob will be going to their own super max after a stunt like that. I think this was the last of her resources. Besides, gut wounds heal hard, she’s not going to be in the same shape once she gets out of the hospital.”

They said goodbye to Ana and Fareeha and Jack sank down onto the sagging couch with a low groan. “I can’t remember a longer week in my life.”

Gabriel sat down beside him, taking his hand and bringing it up to kiss the back of it. “I forgive you, by the way... I know that’s something you’ve been wanting to hear.”

Jack laughed under his breath and shook his head, “I know, Gabe... I know.”

A day later his father died. It was quiet. Jack had checked on his IV then left to make himself a sandwich. When he came back to him John was dead. There had been no last minute conversations, no desire to reconcile. No scars acknowledged no wounds healed. Just an old man dead in his hospital bed. Jack felt numb as he arranged for the body to be cremated, Gabriel beside him the whole time, helping him organize a small funeral that only a few people attended. Mostly old people from when he’d been pastor at the church. 

His plot was an unremarkable stone set into the ground.

Jack didn’t think he’d visit again so when the little crowd had disappeared it was just him and Gabriel. The bruises and swelling had faded, though Jack could still hardly breathe without pain and he got headaches almost every day. “I feel like... I should feel something,” he said after a moment.

Gabriel reached up to cup the back of his neck and give it a small squeeze, “He was an awful man, Jackie.”

“I know. He was. I won’t deny it... but he was also my father so... shouldn’t that mean something?”

“Being a parent and caring for someone are two very different things,” Gabriel said softly, thumb rubbing along the back of Jack’s hand. He wasn’t rushing him, which Jack was grateful for. “That...man... didn’t love you. He didn’t care for you. You were like his little slave and the moment you refused to bend to his will he pretended you didn’t exist until his dying day.”

“Shouldn’t I feel  _ more _ than this?” Jack asked, reaching up to touch over his heart. Mostly he just felt numb. Numb and sore and tired.

“You cried when you learned my Mom had died, I think you feel more than enough, Jack. Sometimes bad people die and we don’t feel bad about it, and sometimes those people are parents. It doesn’t say something horrible about you.”

Jack sighed and turned to Gabriel, cupping gently under his chin to draw him into a sweet kiss.  _ Now _ he felt something. He kind of felt like he hoped his father’s ashes were spinning in their fresh grave. “Does kissing your boyfriend over your father’s grave say something horrible about me?”

“Well, I was going to dance but this is good too,” Gabriel grinned.

Jack scoffed and pulled Gabriel away from the grave and up the path so they could leave. They had a house to tear down and they had another they needed to plan. Each step away from the grave was another step into his new life, and Jack couldn’t wait.


	15. Chapter 15

**EPILOGUE**

**One Year Later**

Turning half the backyard into a big garden had been, in Jack’s opinion, an inspired choice. Now if only he could keep the goddamn deer out of it. He looked on in disapproval at the deer fencing that had been trampled down and the subsequent horror they’d wrecked upon his beans.

Gabriel came up behind him wearing only a pair of sweats and sipping a cup of hot coffee, “I think we need to put in more permanent fencing.”

“Bastards,” Jack muttered, turning away from the sliding glass door and moving into the kitchen to pour himself some coffee. “Furry little bastards.”

“You’re the one who keeps feeding them when they show up in the backyard,” Gabriel yawned, leaning against the kitchen counter.

“I can’t help it, they’re so cute!” Jack lamented, starting to get ingredients down for french toast.

“Right up until they’re killing our beans.”

“Right up until then,” he muttered in agreement.

Gabriel chuckled and set his cup aside, “Don’t worry, we’ll make the kids do all the hard work.”

“It builds character,” Jack said.

“Right.”

“Which we already have.”

“Too much of, if you ask me.”

This was really his life now. Joking with Gabriel in their brand new kitchen that had an island and marble countertops. They had a cute little living room and three bedrooms. A master bedroom with its own bathroom, a guest bedroom, and Gabriel’s recording studio. It wasn’t huge, it was just right. The walls were white, it always smelled clean and fresh. They’d just moved in a couple months ago but Jack was diligent with cleaning.

Gabriel still worked nights at Hanzo’s club while Jack worked security at the hospital. His retirement from the military meant they were still comfortable even if they didn’t work full time. It was a comfortable life, one he was proud of and happy to have. He heard the sound of a motorcycle approaching and slapped Gabriel on the flank.

“Everyone’s here, go put on a shirt!”

Gabriel grabbed Jack by the wrist and hauled him flush against his naked chest to kiss him hard. If his other hand didn’t have a whisk in it he might have given Gabriel a shove...might have. Instead, he melted against him, lips parting as Gabriel’s tongue pushed into his mouth. Jack sucked in a breath when Gabriel pulled away, taking his coffee with him out of the kitchen. Goddamn asshole.

Jack peeked out the window to see Jesse and Genji dismounting from his bike while Sombra rode in the car with Ana. It was so rare they all had the time off for breakfast like this. Jack quickly got back to whipping up the batter and getting the brioche Gabriel had made a couple days ago down from the cupboard. He was just frying up the first few slices when everyone came tromping through the front door.

“Smells great in here!” Jesse drawled, wandering over and tipping his hat at Jack.

“How’s work treating you?” Jack asked, flipping one of the slices.

“Real great, we got some pregnant mares so the owners are gonna teach me how to birth a foal. Best job I ever had.”

“The real question is how you’re doing in school,” Gabriel said, coming back with a t-shirt on. He’d finished his coffee and set the cup in the sink before turning around to lean back against the counter, close enough that his arm was brushing against Jack as he worked.

“Fine, not like it  _ matters _ —”

“Jesse failed his last chemistry lab,” Sombra said with a sly smirk as she slid through the kitchen to get to the back door, like a mischievous spirit, arriving only long enough to cause problems.

“You  _ what _ ?” Gabriel growled, standing up straight.

Jesse took a step away from him, hands coming up defensively, “Whoa, hey, I mean, I ain’t gonna  _ need _ it so—”

Gabriel grabbed him by the arm and dragged Jesse out of the kitchen, “For God’s sake, Jesse, you  _ will _ get your GED so help me god. Come on, we’re going over what you had problems with.”

Genji followed them and Sombra snickered as she peeked around the kitchen doorway to watch.

“And how is  _ your _ job going, Sombra?” He asked once Jesse’s complaining had faded into the back of the house.

“Uhg,  _ boring _ ,” Sombra said, waving her hand flippantly, “it’s all so  _ easy _ . But the pay is good and I  _ guess _ it’s nice to get money I don’t have to worry about.”

Sombra had gotten a job as the IT lead at the university. A job Jack wasn’t sure she’d gotten completely above the board but he couldn’t decide if that just meant she was  _ more _ qualified to have it. It was, at least, better than hacking into banks and syphoning money out of them which is what she  _ had _ been doing previously to keep her and Jesse afloat while they couldn’t work.

“I bet you’re enjoying living by yourself,” Ana chimed in.

“Yeah, no more mess that isn’t mine,” Sombra stole one of the finished pieces of french toast and headed into the living room to turn the TV on.

Ana came in and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek before she hooked their elbows together. “Are you happy with the life you’ve made here?”

“Hmmm,” Jack pretended to think about it.

“What’s  _ not _ to understand!?” Gabriel’s voice rose from the back, “Oxidation is losing electrons, we went over this!”

“I think it’s pretty good.” Jack flipped some french toast onto a waiting plate and made up more, the batter sizzling as it hit the hot skillet. “You know, thinking back on it, I’m not sure any of this would have happened if you hadn’t been so readily forgiving of me,” Jack said, turning to look at Ana.

“That, and I called you on all your shit,” she said smugly.

“That too. Thank you, Ana. I’m just not sure I ever properly thanked you.”

“You never had to,” she patted the top of his hand then pulled away to grab herself a plate.

“Gabriel let Jesse go!” Jack called as he stacked up more french toast on the plate beside him. “Breakfast is ready!”

Jesse came back in looking sullen and grabbed a plate, taking it outside to eat on the back porch with Sombra. When Genji came in Jack was still finishing up the next slices. “What about you, Genji, how are classes going?”

“Good,” said Genji as he held his plate against his chest. “Ah, Zenyatta thinks... I could even go on to get a degree in psychology and maybe... join him in his practice.” He said it like he wasn’t sure such a thing was even possible.

“I can’t think of anyone more qualified to do that,” said Jack, sliding toast onto Genji’s plate. He left the kitchen to join Jesse and Sombra out back, looking quite cheerful at the compliment.

Gabriel finally wandered into the kitchen to grab his own plate. Now it was just the three of them eating in companionable silence. Jack had to eat between making more french toast, using up all the bread and most of the batter.

Everything he’d worked towards was here. He had a nice home that stayed clean, he had good friends. He had Gabriel. He couldn’t imagine being any happier. It was stupid and cheesy and he tried to keep it to himself but Jack was madly in love with the life he was living now. He’d face off against a thousand Bobs all over again just to keep it.

Everyone hung around until just before lunch, and Jack got Jesse and Genji to help him put his temporary deer fencing back up. His poor beans. Jack went outside to replant after saying goodbye to everyone, kneeling in the dirt as he cleared out everything that couldn’t be salvaged and started to plant fresh crop.

Gabriel wandered out with another cup of coffee, standing just outside the fencing to watch, “The deer will thank you,” he said behind his cup.

Jack sat back, wiping his arm over his forehead, “I don’t think so. We’re going to the hardware store and picking up fencing supplies today.”

“Mmmhmm,” Gabriel was watching him closely. Close enough that Jack felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He finished planting and stood up, hopping over the fence and brushing dirt off his jeans.

“Are you going to get dressed?” Jack asked, pulling his gardening gloves off.

Gabriel set his coffee cup aside and fell to one knee before Jack. Jack did not immediately understand what was going on, reaching down to try and tug Gabriel back onto his feet. Right up until Gabriel reached into the pocket of his sweats and pulled out a ring box. “Jackie will you—”

“Oh my god,” Jack turned his back to Gabriel, hands coming up to cover his face.

“—marry me?” Gabriel kept going, it sounded like he was holding back laughter.

“Why are you asking me  _ now _ while I’m covered in dirt and  _ you _ are wearing your pajamas?” Jack asked, unable to turn around just yet. The absurdity of it all kept him from wondering if it was all a dream.

“Because you love this garden and you love seeing me in sweats,” Gabriel said smugly. “And this is  _ our _ home and our life and I can’t think of a place more important to us.”

Jack turned back around and fell to his knees before Gabriel, finally seeing the ring. It was nothing more than a simple platinum band. It was perfect. “Yes,” he said simple, drawing Gabriel into a tight hug.

Gabriel laughed and pulled back to take Jack’s hand and slide the ring on, “I almost asked when you were on the toilet this morning because I thought it’d be funny.”

“Then I would have said no,” Jack said, punching him on the shoulder.

It turned into Gabriel grabbing Jack around the waist and grappling him to the ground. Jack yelled and tried to roll him but he was pinned too quick, left staring up at Gabriel as he leaned over him with his hands over Jack’s wrists. “I think you would have said yes,” Gabriel said, bending down to kiss Jack before he could deny that horrible lie.

They quickly got distracted. Jack groaned, bringing his hands into Gabriel’s hair which he was starting to grow out, curling ever so slightly the longer it got. His sides and back were still shaved so Jack brushed his palms over the stubble with a moan. Gabriel settled between his thighs, grinding lazily as he started to kiss down Jack’s jaw and over his throat.

“I love you,” Gabriel whispered. Gabriel didn’t say it very often, but he showed it in so many ways that Jack didn’t care. He hissed as his shirt was pushed up and Gabriel got his fingers on his nipples, rubbing and pulling at them before he continued to kiss his way down his body.

Jack didn’t fight it, why would he? This was their home, and they had nothing to hide. Everyone knew they were together. Everyone was happy for them. Jack had built his own family, one that loved him for who he was, not one that hated him for what he wasn’t. Gabriel pulled his jeans open and wasted no time getting his lips around Jack’s cock, pulling a loud moan out of him and bringing him right back to the present.

He tangled one hand in Gabriel’s hair and the other he held over his mouth as his cock was sucked like Gabriel needed it to live. All Jack could do was hold on as he brought to full hardness in less than a minute, head spinning with pleasure as Gabriel worked him skillfully with lips and tongue.

A marriage proposal and a blow job? Busy afternoon. Jack hissed and arched his back as he got closer, toes curling in his sneakers. “Gabriel—!” he groaned, giving his hair a little tug. Warning him as best he could that it would take little more than one last suck to push him over the edge.

Gabriel clearly wasn’t interested in teasing him right now because as soon as Jack warned him he sucked  _ hard _ and Jack practically screamed, thrusting up as he held Gabriel down so all his come spilled down his throat. Gabriel swallowed and finally reached up to pull Jack’s hand off him so he could lift up off his cock. Jack stared down his body, watching the way his cock slipped out of Gabriel’s mouth, a bit of drool breaking off as Gabriel licked his lips pointedly.

They held eye contact for a moment then Gabriel was smirking and standing up, grabbing Jack and hauling him up over his shoulder. “I’m not done with you.”

“I’d be disappointed if you were,” Jack said, using his newfound position to reach his hands into Gabriel’s sweats and squeeze his naked ass. He only started to squirm when Gabriel went straight for the bed. “Wait wait wait you’re going to get dirt all of the blankets and I  _ just _ brought them back from the dry cleaners!”

“It is  _ impossible _ to be spontaneous with you,” Gabriel complained without heat, changing direction to gently set Jack down in the bathroom.

Jack stripped, caring a lot less about the bathroom rugs as dirt from the garden fell off his jeans and bunched up shirt. Once he was naked, and brushed off, he threw himself into Gabriel’s arms, legs wrapping around his waist as Gabriel held his naked ass and carried him to the bed. “One of us has to be responsible.”

“A kill-joy you mean,” Gabriel grumbled, throwing Jack down on their bed and crawling over him.

“You’re the one who asked for my hand in marriage,” Jack smirked, holding up his hand and giving his fingers a wiggle, ring flashing a bit in the light.

“More fool me.”

The talking trailed off into kisses that quickly turned desperate. Gabriel kicked his pants off and pulled off his shirt before rolling Jack onto his belly and laying over him. Jack groaned, arms wrapping around one of their pillows to bring it under his chest and cling to it. He and Gabriel fucked like they were trying to make up for the last 25 years apart.

Jack grabbed another pillow and handed it to Gabriel, lifting his hips up so he could push it under them. That was better. Jack relaxed happily as Gabriel lay out over his back, guiding his cock into him, using that tingling lube they’d found a couple weeks ago. Jack was loud, and there were no neighbors to bang on the wall, no one to listen in, just them gasping and groaning together in  _ their _ house and  _ their _ bed. He clung to the pillow tightly, unable to get hard again so soon but he hardly cared.

“Come on, Gabe,” Jack panted, reaching back to scratch over Gabriel’s hip. 

“I’ve got you, Jackie,” Gabriel breathed, wrapping his arms around Jack’s chest so they were pressed flush, his hips rolling lazily so he was only pulling out an inch or two before pressing back in. Their legs tangled together, Jack felt Gabriel’s hot breath over the back of his neck. He relaxed into it, just letting Gabriel go at his own pace. It was nice and slow for a moment, Gabriel murmured sweet nothings against his skin, lips trailing along Jack’s neck and over his shoulder.

He had an entire life of this left. Jack bit down on his bottom lip and hid his face in the pillow as he grinned like an idiot. Gabriel finally sat back up, bracing himself with his hands on either side of Jack’s head. Now he started to fuck Jack hard, hips slapping loudly against his ass as he pounded him into the mattress. Jack wailed, knuckles white as he gripped the pillow under him tightly, rocking over the blankets as Gabriel had his way with him.

Jack could tell when Gabriel was close without him having to say it, his hips stuttered a little, his breath hitched. Then he thrust into the hilt and groaned lowly, cock pulsing as he filled Jack up. After a moment Gabriel collapsed down over Jack’s back with a pleased sigh. Jack put up with it for a minute but soon enough he was twisting under Gabriel, elbowing him off so he could just snuggle up against his side. A little more comfortable than being crushed into the mattress.

He  _ would _ have to get up, clean himself out, clean off the blankets, but for right now he just rest his head on Gabriel’s shoulder, fingers playing through the dark hair on his chest. “What kind of wedding are you thinking about?”

“Something small,” Gabriel said, brushing his hand up and down Jack’s back. “At home.”

“Yeah,” Jack held up his hand to look at the ring then twisted to kiss Gabriel softly. “I’d love that.”

**FIN**


End file.
